February 8, 2009
A common truism is that the best way to judge a person's intellect (and character) is by observing them speak. I am guessing that, where personal observation of a person in the art of speaking is impossible, a close and acceptable substitute is to read what they write.
Writing being a form of speech, the contents of a writer's work can go a long way in providing deep insights into such person's characters, temperament, intelligence, philosophy and, indeed, moral fabrics. More effective than appearances, and better than reputations, speech and writings tend to provide unbiased and unmistakable revelations about the speaker or the writer. Having just written an Abati-themed rejoinder, I had the urge to follow up on the developments regarding the scandal now commonly referred to as "AbatiGate".
Knowing that Dr. Reuben Abati is a contributor to one of the leading Nigerian online media (NigeriaVillageSquare), I headed off to the www.nigeriavillagesquare.com, hoping to see if his Lordly Self had had a change of heart and decided to clear the air surrounding this hush-hush Abuja Land Deal quagmire in which he is now embroiled. Dr. Abati had, indeed, penned another article which, going by its title ("The Nigerian Face Of Global Recession"), had diddly squat to do with any attempt to extricate himself from the tangled web of this land-grab. Somewhat disappointed, I proceeded to read the said article - a decision I have later come to greatly regret, but which serves the unitended purpose of providing a peek into Dr. Abati's moral fibers.
NOTE: Please observe that I have refrained from linking directly to the said article. This is intentional because I believe it'd be irresponsible of me to do anything to propagate the odoriferous crap contained in the article.
In "The Nigerian Face Of Global Recession", Dr. Reuben Abati, eminent scholar that he is, wrote about the global economic meltdown from the Nigerian perspective, with the obvious goal of dissecting the problem and ... well, I don't know what else the good doctor had in mind after that. And it is quite obvious that neither did the good doctor himself. This lack of direction is very transparent after the first few paragraphs. However, this lack of direction or coherence is not the thrust of this write-up. Perhaps we can address that at a later date - I doubt it.
Midway through his masterpiece, after laboriously muddling through and mashing up a lot of irrelevance, Dr. Abati attempted, like any good writer would do, to provide an anecdotal piece of information to burnish some points he was trying to make with regards to how the global meltdown has affected the Nigerian way of life. This is where everything went downhill for the good doctor and where we, his readers, are provided a glimpse into the inner reflections of the inestimable and inimitable Dr. Reuben Abati. Please read (and weep):
But the most memorable illustration of the crisis occurred the other day at a nightclub. A guy had picked up a young lady who turned out to be an ECOWAS lady, and after his initial advances, he had been told pointedly that what he wanted would cost him N20, 000. The shouting match that ensued drew the attention and the intervention of others.
"Twenty thousand for what?", we had suddenly heard as the guy shouted.
"For what you want. Look at me, do I look cheap?" She didn't look cheap at all.
"But it is 4 a. m in the morning. Try and be considerate."
"I am sure you know what the Naira is saying against the dollar"
"The dollar has nothing to do with this matter, I beg. I'll pay N5, 000. That is the going rate today. "
"But that is not my own going rate, " the lady pointed out.
And I nearly laughed. The negotiation went back and forth, eventually the negotiators lowered their voices. And they left together. And I had my chance to laugh. Candidly what has the exchange rate got to do with the matter between the guy and the lady?
Fellow Countrymen and Countrywomen, the mind of your highly-regarded head of a flagship publishing house in good, old Nigeria - straight out of the gutters.
One cannot but ask the good doctor:
As in - seriously, doctor, are you kidding me? Did you just sit down in your lofty office, rummage through your brains, decided you were going to write about the "serious" issue of global economic meltdown and the impending bankruptcy of Nigeria, searched through the white matters you have for a brain and came up with ... this? A freaking sex trade banter? For F*^% sake, this is what you think Nigeria and Nigerians deserve from a "master" like you? This is your contribution to the "serious" disaster confronting every corner of the global landscape? A Sexual favor "transaction"?
You indeed confessed that you were no "expert" in the matter of international finances and all that, but then, if you felt sufficiently compelled to write something about something you are not familiar with, would it kill you to have consulted the relevant experts and simply ask their take on such "complex" issues as the cost of bread today vs. its inflation-adjusted cost, pre-meltdown? You have the trappings of the office of The Guardian behind you, and any "expert" worth his or her salt would have been delighted to help you out? Did you even have to write anything? Could you not simply have left the task to one of your better-informed underlings?
No. You just had to “entertain” us to your smut, didn't you, Doctor? And you wonder why your imaginary enemies question your moral configurations with regard to AbatiGate? Well, Sir, consider this reader sufficiently "entertained" by your lurid annecdote. Now, could you please get back to addressing the very serious question of how you got entangled in the Abuja land-grab?
Writing being a form of speech, the contents of a writer's work can go a long way in providing deep insights into such person's characters, temperament, intelligence, philosophy and, indeed, moral fabrics. More effective than appearances, and better than reputations, speech and writings tend to provide unbiased and unmistakable revelations about the speaker or the writer. Having just written an Abati-themed rejoinder, I had the urge to follow up on the developments regarding the scandal now commonly referred to as "AbatiGate".
Knowing that Dr. Reuben Abati is a contributor to one of the leading Nigerian online media (NigeriaVillageSquare), I headed off to the www.nigeriavillagesquare.com, hoping to see if his Lordly Self had had a change of heart and decided to clear the air surrounding this hush-hush Abuja Land Deal quagmire in which he is now embroiled. Dr. Abati had, indeed, penned another article which, going by its title ("The Nigerian Face Of Global Recession"), had diddly squat to do with any attempt to extricate himself from the tangled web of this land-grab. Somewhat disappointed, I proceeded to read the said article - a decision I have later come to greatly regret, but which serves the unitended purpose of providing a peek into Dr. Abati's moral fibers.
NOTE: Please observe that I have refrained from linking directly to the said article. This is intentional because I believe it'd be irresponsible of me to do anything to propagate the odoriferous crap contained in the article.
In "The Nigerian Face Of Global Recession", Dr. Reuben Abati, eminent scholar that he is, wrote about the global economic meltdown from the Nigerian perspective, with the obvious goal of dissecting the problem and ... well, I don't know what else the good doctor had in mind after that. And it is quite obvious that neither did the good doctor himself. This lack of direction is very transparent after the first few paragraphs. However, this lack of direction or coherence is not the thrust of this write-up. Perhaps we can address that at a later date - I doubt it.
Midway through his masterpiece, after laboriously muddling through and mashing up a lot of irrelevance, Dr. Abati attempted, like any good writer would do, to provide an anecdotal piece of information to burnish some points he was trying to make with regards to how the global meltdown has affected the Nigerian way of life. This is where everything went downhill for the good doctor and where we, his readers, are provided a glimpse into the inner reflections of the inestimable and inimitable Dr. Reuben Abati. Please read (and weep):
But the most memorable illustration of the crisis occurred the other day at a nightclub. A guy had picked up a young lady who turned out to be an ECOWAS lady, and after his initial advances, he had been told pointedly that what he wanted would cost him N20, 000. The shouting match that ensued drew the attention and the intervention of others.
"Twenty thousand for what?", we had suddenly heard as the guy shouted.
"For what you want. Look at me, do I look cheap?" She didn't look cheap at all.
"But it is 4 a. m in the morning. Try and be considerate."
"I am sure you know what the Naira is saying against the dollar"
"The dollar has nothing to do with this matter, I beg. I'll pay N5, 000. That is the going rate today. "
"But that is not my own going rate, " the lady pointed out.
And I nearly laughed. The negotiation went back and forth, eventually the negotiators lowered their voices. And they left together. And I had my chance to laugh. Candidly what has the exchange rate got to do with the matter between the guy and the lady?
Fellow Countrymen and Countrywomen, the mind of your highly-regarded head of a flagship publishing house in good, old Nigeria - straight out of the gutters.
One cannot but ask the good doctor:
- Which part of the story above is real and which is dragged out of the deepest reaches of your repressed sexual fantasies?
- Did you, perchance, play a Cameo in the episode recounted above, or were you just a passive observer? If you discount the sordidness of purchasing sexual gratification, nothing wrong with you playing a role - inquisitive minds just want to know, since you had deemed it befitting to so "entertain" us.
- If you were not a partaker in the scene you are retelling, would it be rude to inquire as to your state of mind if indeeed you were observing the episode at the wee (and ungodly) hour of 4 am?
- If you were indeed observing it, were you hiding behind some bush, or was this "transaction" conducted openly in your presence? You can be easily excused and forgiven IF you were safely concealed behind some screen, otherwise one would be tempted to question the type of people you associate with and the type of places you frequent in your private times. In fact, one could be further tempted to infer abject moral turpitude if you happened to have openly observed the incident you related here. What would a highly-regarded, successful, internationally-renowned academia such as yourself be doing in such filthy environment - at 4am in the morning, to boot?
- Ok, so you mentioned that the "shouting match" was so loud as to wake a dead body. But then, wouldn't a morally upright individual of such standing in the society have turned away upon discerning the nature of the "transaction" underway?
- Last I checked, prostitution is still not legal on the books. Does it not occur to you that hanging around to listen to the whole "transaction" could be misconstrued as an exercise in .... oh, I don't know.... intellectual masturbation?
- Did you even ask yourself "what am I doing here"? Did you ask yourself how horrible it would have looked to the rest of the world if, god forbid bad thing, a policeman had showed up at the negotiation and arrested everyone within a mile radius?Knowing how you constantly lament the pervasive corruption in the land, you would not have used any influence peddling to wiggle your way out of arrest, would you?
As in - seriously, doctor, are you kidding me? Did you just sit down in your lofty office, rummage through your brains, decided you were going to write about the "serious" issue of global economic meltdown and the impending bankruptcy of Nigeria, searched through the white matters you have for a brain and came up with ... this? A freaking sex trade banter? For F*^% sake, this is what you think Nigeria and Nigerians deserve from a "master" like you? This is your contribution to the "serious" disaster confronting every corner of the global landscape? A Sexual favor "transaction"?
You indeed confessed that you were no "expert" in the matter of international finances and all that, but then, if you felt sufficiently compelled to write something about something you are not familiar with, would it kill you to have consulted the relevant experts and simply ask their take on such "complex" issues as the cost of bread today vs. its inflation-adjusted cost, pre-meltdown? You have the trappings of the office of The Guardian behind you, and any "expert" worth his or her salt would have been delighted to help you out? Did you even have to write anything? Could you not simply have left the task to one of your better-informed underlings?
No. You just had to “entertain” us to your smut, didn't you, Doctor? And you wonder why your imaginary enemies question your moral configurations with regard to AbatiGate? Well, Sir, consider this reader sufficiently "entertained" by your lurid annecdote. Now, could you please get back to addressing the very serious question of how you got entangled in the Abuja land-grab?
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