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Auntie Dora’s Harmful Drug

April 6, 2009

Nigerians abroad are the worst when it comes to bad mouthing Nigeria, says auntie Dora, Minister of Information and Communication, who is currently leading a campaign to re-brand a drug most pharmacists considered dangerous for consumption. Auntie Dora seems to be saying, there's nothing wrong in portraying one's country as paradise even though the situation suggests otherwise. After all, India, USA & others do it. -Dora's interview


Prof. Dora Akunyili proved her mettle as the NAFDAC boss. She fought drug dealers and makers of fake drugs and their accomplices on pure spunk. Her determination showed in her every movement. She did not relent even in the face of danger that followed her on a daily basis. Criminals uttered intentions of injury and punishment against her, yet she stood her ground. She wanted to uproot the tragic or evil developments that bedevil Nigeria with fake drugs. The task was menacing but she exerted herself continuously, vigorously, even obtrusively to engage in the crusade.
And auntie Akunyili's doggedness helped save many lives that otherwise would have been lost had she settled the situation by concession. The lives of ordinary Nigerians must have been dear to her heart, as they are most likely to buy fake drugs than the ruling class. Auntie surrendered her life to a worthy cause. She believed that the masses must not be allowed to die from cancer - of criminals - who are ready to kill anyone for money sake. They violently believe that everything about everything is about money.
It is impossible not to like a woman of Akunyili's character, especially in a country where serving one's nation means acquiring wealth and wealth without delivering expected service. A woman or man of substance was highly needed to set the pace; to show that the business of governance is not strained. Madam Akunyili was given the chance. She came on board and her sincerity of purpose accelerated her recognition as a potential leader of man. Nigerians in their majority including Fourth Estate of the Realm embraced her acumen. This is because she represents something they have been yawning for: a down to earth and effective administrator which is still missing even at the very top.

Then her moment of trial came. She had a running battle with Oni Molete of Molete, the late Alhaji Lamidi Adedibu who accused the Nigerian idol of nursing a ministerial ambition. In his usual temperament, the Garrison Commandant had rebuked Akunyili for daring to take her drug war to his territory. The former then announced that our darling auntie had taken such step because he, Lamidi Adedibu, did not support her ministerial ambition. Most of us did not take it lightly with the man. He was saying rubbish as usual, we concluded. And even if our beloved wants to become a minister, is she not more than qualified?

And then she became a minister. We expected to see her in the health ministry where she can adequately continue her holy war, but instead we found her in the Ministry of Information & Communication, where she must re-brand and re-brand a product called Nigeria. Auntie Dora loves her country so much that it was too difficult for her to tell them that she would be more useful in the health ministry. And now it seems they are using our adorable auntie to sell a product they hardly believe in. Perhaps due to her own personal ambition, she had failed to take one thing into consideration: re-brand Nigeria Project has never worked because the organisers were doing the last thing first.

And now she is following the same path. How could she have missed the fact that every administration had lavished public money on Re-brand Nigeria Project - euphemism for re-abandon! Come to think of it, the title is misleading, if not outright deceptive. The concept of re-brand demands that the product should be effective before re-branding it. You don't re-brand the country but the people. I posit here that it is Nigerian leaders that need to be re-branded. Whenever they are ready to lead, the followers shall definitely follow. It is as simple as this but Auntie Dora doesn't get it.
And is Auntie Dora telling us to lie about the situation in our country when she cited several examples from India, the USA and so on. For example, she implied that India re-brands itself as Incredible India whereas the situation in India does not correspond with the slogan. This is another sorry state of mind of Nigerians administrators including "Mr. President" who once declared that visiting Britain was the best moment of his life. Portraying our country as a great nation when we know the truth is treacherous and the repercussion suicidal. If we continue to lie about our situation, that means we would never change, and as far as I am concerned, it means we definitely have skeleton in our cupboard. I disagree with the minister's theory of nationalism. 

I mean, do we need to follow India or America of doing things? So because India is lying to the world, Nigeria must also lie? Can't we be different? Can't we follow our own heart? Moreover, where are the other similar projects about re-branding Nigeria? Where is Obasanjo's Heart of Africa? Where is Buhari/Idiagbon's War Against Indiscipline? They were abandoned after millions of naira had been spent. They were abandoned because it is virtually impossible to talk of any kind of Re-brand Nigeria without reforming the leaders first. They are the ones blocking Nigeria's progress. They are the ones making Nigeria a liability entity.

Auntie Dora should start whatever she wants to re-brand from the top. I know this is totally unlikely, and it is another main reason why the re-brand won't succeed. However, if she succeeded in changing the rottenness in the leadership package, I assure her that followers shall follow. At present, the followers are simply imitating their leaders, hence the impairment of virtue and moral principles in our daily life. She should stop deceiving herself; or rather stop fighting a lost battle. Nigeria situation has reached a point where it is impracticable for the followers to kick start the re-brand. No, it must start from the top.

The former NAFDAC boss may be optimistic about Nigeria, but do her colleagues share the same sentiment? She spoke about believing in our country. Good talk. But how many Nigerian leaders actually truly believe in Nigeria talk less of the Re-brand Nigeria Project? It is not even about being optimistic or not; it is about honesty, transparency and accountability. This is the main product to be researched on. Then we may start talking about the outside package which is the re-brand. Nigerian administrators' attitude about service projects pessimism, therefore it is not abnormal for the followers to be sceptic, even cynical.


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"The American can die holding up his national flag instead of giving it up," says Akunyili. This is another bad comparison or reference. First, American people can die holding up their national flag because American leaders do the same. It is quite difficult for Nigerians to die holding up their national flag because they have detected that their leaders are in fact rulers who do not know anything about patriotism. Most Nigerians have come to the conclusion that the so-called leaders do not love their country, and in fact they are not willing to sacrifice for it. How would the citizens believe when the president, governors, senators, legislatures, ministers and so on go abroad for medical treatment? How would they believe when Education Ministers send their wards to overseas for studies? How do you expect ordinary citizens to believe in such country?

Auntie Dora knows what to do if she really wants to promote the product without being a lousy salesperson. A good product can sell even with a bad salesperson. Auntie Dora should tell her colleagues to stop stealing and siphoning public money abroad; let them chew service instead of celebrating mediocrity and laziness; let them obey the constitution and the existing laws of the land; let them practice visionary politics and commitment to the public and electorates that "voted" them into power. Before making noise about re-brand, it is common sense to have adequately studied why the product should be changed. It would be a disaster to do otherwise. If you re-brand and the product remains the same, only a few gullible customers will buy it. 

Lastly, I do not know exactly what the minister meant when she says, "Nigerians in the Diaspora are the worst when it comes to bad mouthing Nigeria". It may surprise her that it is the same Nigerians that would defend their country if others malign her. I don't think Nigerians in the Diaspora hate their country. No, they are simply fed up with their leaders. It is not their country they actually detest but the vision-less and corrupt "leaders" whose main purpose of going to politics is to steal. Part of what the minister should focus on is the reason behind talking down one's country. This is what should be the uttermost in Auntie Dora's lip instead of making fanfare about Re-brand, which should be the last step to the overall package. I just hope she won't end up from being a woman of substance to a minister of outwardness. Time will tell.

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