The ruling Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) has carved a peculiar niche for administering fetish oaths on its members in all their nakedness with the unmentionables dangling! I have been reliably informed that there are more juju-doctors and witch-catchers in the dark covens of the PDP than in all the jungles of Ancient Ndiorumbe. Initiation into the PDP, according to my undercover sources, is akin to induction into a secret society complete with human flesh-eating and the guzzling of virginal blood. I have it on good authority that the majority of PDP stalwarts end up going stark raving mad after the murky details of their juju-besotted initiation. Whence, for instance, the scrambling of the head of Femi Fani-Kayode like a drug addict loony in the slave duty of barking as a rabid dog at then President Obasanjo’s imagined enemies!
To acquire a loyal attack dog all a PDP godfather needs do is to take a poor fool into a wonky shrine to swear to a total allegiance oath. Much was made of the case of the unlettered Chris Uba taking the medical doctor named Chris Ngige to the dreaded Okija shrine for a fetish oath of allegiance. We have since been informed that Ngige actually went to the shrine with his Holy Bible tucked under his armpit. Poor Chris Uba in his unschooled desperation did not notice the Bible, and Ngige was thus able to turn the table on the luckless godfather. Do we now advise any PDP wannabe to remember his Bible when being taken into any of the many PDP shrines? Maybe it was the presence of the Bible that stopped Uba from asking Ngige to strip stark naked! God works in miraculous ways, alleluia! Say amen to that revelation, as the Pentecostal spellbinders would say.
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It is easy to see that Wale Alausa, the Ogun State legislator whose nude photographs were published by the Nigerian Compass of June 30, made the singular mistake of not taking along his Bible while taking the blood oath! According to the honorable apostle of nakedness that goes by the name Wale Alausa, “I was not the only one there. There are some I took with Governor Gbenga Daniel himself. He, too, was naked like me. There were also naked pictures of other lawmakers loyal to the governor. All members of the group took the naked oath. I mean all, not one was left out. The oath was taken in order for us to pledge our loyalty to Daniel. He facilitated it and participated actively. In fact, in order to convince me that he meant business, he stripped himself naked along with me and we took pictures too. I challenge him to also publish these in his papers; otherwise, he remains a liar and a treacherous fellow.”
These Alawada characters in Ogun State must indeed be very fond of nakedness, if Alausa is to be believed. I would indeed pay more for a ticket to watch this naked dance of inebriated adults than the cost of the last Michael Jackson show! I hereby volunteer to be hired as the unpaid photographer to take exclusive pictures of the members of these highly placed Ogun loonies (no pun intended)!
Even so, Ogun State remains only a small comic relief in relation to the larger PDP agenda of foisting voodoo democracy of witches and wizards and allied sorcerers upon this bewildered nation. To hit the final nail on the coffin, as they say in old English, I have just been informed by a source I daren’t disclose that President Umaru Musa Yar’Adua did not escape the rap of the PDP godfather oath. The explanation is quite straightforward, and one does not need to go about it in the roundabout away like that place of confusion at Ojuelegba which Fela Anikulapo-Kuti sang about. So going straight to the point by not moving through any roundabout, my source informed me that General Olusegun Obasanjo remains the one and only godfather of President Yar’Adua. Of course Obasanjo is an avid apostle of “do-or-die” politics who believes in the dictum of insisting on a strict observance of “orders from above’. When Ngige was taken to Okija shrine he was told to obey “orders from above”. If Obasanjo can insist on his underlings and minions administering “orders from above” what on Devil’s earth would stop him from giving the oath directly to the candidate he chose by himself? Or is somebody telling me that Yar’Adua went along with his Koran?
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Please don’t laugh for the oath goes round, and all the workers in Yar’Adua’s Aso Rock had to perforce take their own oath of secrecy and allegiance as opposed to the Constitution-recommended oath. In short, to paraphrase Chinua Achebe, it’s morning yet on oath-taking day, sorry, night!
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