“When did you become an Ivorian my friend and Why are you wearing that ugly looking Jersey?

“I am going to that viewing centre to watch those crawling birds play the snakes,!”

“And what is wrong with adorning a Nigerian Jersey  if you must wear one?”

“Ha! Do you want bad luck to hit me?”

“Haba! How does wearing a simple jersey affect your fate? As always you are so superstitious; did you hear this nonsense from your grand mother’s cousin again?”

“Nope! Have you not heard of the curse of ‘almost there’ hovering around that jersey?”

“Now you dumbfound me with you unclear humor!”

“Who is humoring you? Do I look like I am joking? My friend you better take my advice and stay away from those green shirts if you want good luck anytime soon”

“Really, why this pessimistic attitude? Or are you still smarting over our loss to Germany at the U-20 World Cup? Please come over it, we cannot win all the time”

“Is that not the mentality Galadima had when he said the World Cup was not our birthright? I just wonder what special phrase would be coined this time around after we fail again”

“you still have not explained to me why the Nigerian Jersey is a symbol of some weird spell!”

“I came to this conclusion after both our senior national team and our U-20 teams both succeeded in giving us glimmers of hope and dashing it at the moment when we really believed they could do it!”

“Well, we have to take heart, afterall England lost infamously infront of their home crowd last year which denied them a chance of making it to the prestigious Euro tourney!”

“Did they not remedy it immediately and bring in that competent bespectacled Italian coach? What did we do after the German tailor came to mess up our record at the All African Games? We gladly brought in an Edo shoemaker to continue where he stopped!”

“Easy man! Berti Vogts is a German legend and personally I know Amodu and he is not a shoemaker.”

“But he is certainly not a coach, so why does he not just become a shoemaker? The way he admires the player’s boots you would see that he has the latent talent to be one good cobbler!”

“Please be objective with your criticisms jare!”

“Was Lukman Haruna objective when he let that ball loose to the Germans? Was Nwankwo being objective when he was displaying his ineptitude in front of the world?”

“I knew it! you are still hurt by the loss? Please cut those boys some slacks, even the English U-20 team did not make it past the group stage, and besdes our boys are still young and have time to grow and improve”

“You are so naïve! I went to the same primary school with that Alfa fellow, I left the university almost six years ago and he is below 20?”

“You have started again, this was how you alleged that Taribo West fought the Nigerian Civil War and shook hands with Gowon, and that Julius Aghahowa retired from the police force at the age of 29!  These allegations would not take you anywhere; neither would it take our football anywhere”

“Would you please call Uncle Julius’s name with some respect! Do you think he is your age-mate? But really I believe Sani Lulu has some bad omen hovering about his head! Otherwise why would he be the oracle of such ill period?”

“Stop this ranting of yours! Why are you not laying the blame at the feet of Samson Siasia? Even he has accepted responsibility for the team’s poor outing!”

“Siasia’s tactics were on display for all to see, the man knows his job! It is those big headed boys that just don’t understand the whole concept behind football! I think the country has lost sharp attackers and serious minded defenders. Even our so-called best defender Joseph Yobo loses his concentration at the speed of light, allowing the country concede unnecessary goals. Our strikers are no longer smart and goal hungry, the only good players we have are being segregated by that shoe cobbler. Whatever happened to the likes of Uche Okechukwu, Rashidi Yekini, Uche Okafor……Those days are gone forever and replaced by this period of mediocre players that would always get their $10,000 after playing absolute nonsense.”

“Do you even know how to play football? With your two left legs you are criticising professional players like that! Please let us go and watch the Mozambique game. Who do you think would win the game?”

“Does it matter who I think wins, what matters is eventually qualifies for the 2010 World Cup? I really don’t see any point in Nigeria playing this game. The most importatnt one was the one we played against Tunisia and we blew it. Remember the most important game during the qualifying phase for the 2006 World Cup was against Angola at home and we scuffed it as well. The truth of the matter is, we can go ahead and win by 40-0 we still would not make it to the World Cup. The architect of our last World Cup qualification fiasco is currenlty exhibiting his talents inside the Nigerian Local League unperturbed, even giving his opinions once in a while. Very soon BCCL ions would recall their priced shoemaker and the NFF would suddenly realise it has a scape-goat available and lay all the blame on his head. Therefater they would promise to go back to that overworn ‘Drawing Board’ to reset our football for the 2014 World Cup. By the time the whole drawings on the board are completed, the NFF would collect several milions of Naira again from that telecommunication outfit and employ another forlorn foreign ex-legend who would muddle the Nations Cup dream of the Eagles, he would of course get sacked immediately after the tourney and then Ladan Bosso would become our new Coach!”

“Blood of God! Stop this wild imagination of yours o! Please let us quietly go and watch the game jare! If you know what is good for you, support the Nigerian team at that vewing centre or you will get mobbed for unpatriotism. You know Nigerians are very patriotic.”

“That is why the NFF is taking us for a roller-coaster ride!”

Awenlimobor Sylvester

12 Jida road


Ogun State


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