May 18, 2010
“Isa! Isa! Isa why now?” “Nafisa, why what? You have started again today. When did you become such a nagging wife?” “Me, a nagging wife? Ha! Isa Yuguda, so life is like this!” “Life is like what? Wallahi talahi Nafisa you have been getting on my nerves lately.”
“Isa! Isa! Isa why now?” “Nafisa, why what? You have started again today. When did you become such a nagging wife?” “Me, a nagging wife? Ha! Isa Yuguda, so life is like this!” “Life is like what? Wallahi talahi Nafisa you have been getting on my nerves lately.”“Ha! So I’m now getting on your nerves, Isa! Ok, let’s even forget that. I was calling you because I want to know if you will grant me my weekly rotation this time around.”
“Weekly rotation?”
“You are even pretending that you don’t know what that means, Isa. You, a Moslem with four wives? Hmmmmm. Anyway, it is my turn this week. Last week, you gave excuses and I didn’t see you.”
“Your turn?”
“Yes, my turn, Isa. You will spend every night in my bedroom and in my bed this week. Do you remember when last you slept in my bedroom Isa?”
“Nafisa, how many times will I tell you that I have been busy with very vital state matters? Ehn, how many times will I tell you that? I have a state to govern in case you haven’t noticed”
“The same state matters that you relegated to the background when my father was President? Isa, remember, I was the only state matter you attended to when Baba was in Aso Rock. What have I done to deserve what you have been doing to me recently?”
“Look here, Nafisa Yar’Adua…”
“No, Isa, let me speak. I will speak today and you will listen to me. You have been treating me worse than a bathroom rug in the last few weeks. You won’t touch me. You won’t move close to my bedroom. All the talk about your wanting and loving me more than life itself has evaporated. You used to call me your diamond and your gold nugget. Where did all that go, Isa? Why did you suddenly stop loving me?”
“Nafisa, there is nothing we are going through that every married couple doesn’t go through. The honeymoon phase always passes and the couple settles down to regular life. So what are you yapping about? Ask your senior wives. Ask the wives of my aides and commissioners. Ask women all over Naijeriyya and they will tell you the same thing. You are just being a naïve young wife”
“True, I may be young and naïve, Isa, but don’t insult my intelligence. Don’t add insult to injury. I know the difference between a marriage settling into a regular pattern and what you have been doing to me since…”
“Since what? I don’t even know why I am having this discussion with you. You’ll make me miss my flight to Abuja. Gafara hanyan. Get out of the way. I’m off.”
“Isa, you are joking. You are not going anywhere until we finish this conversation”
“What, Nafisa, am I dreaming or what? Like play like play, you have grabbed my babanriga around my neck o. Nafisa, what has come over you? You are going to tear my dress o.”
“I have only just started, Isa. You are not going anywhere. Just kill me. You must kill me today. Useless man! Oloshi. You will not prosper! You will not flourish…”
“Oh, so you have learnt to curse like a Yoruba woman. Don’t forget that one of your senior wives is from Abeokuta. If I want to hear epe, I will go and offend her. So spare me your useless rant.”
“So, it is now that you know that I rant, Isa. Do you think that I don’t know why you are going to Abuja?”
“I’m going for state matters”
“Liar! State matters my foot! Hopeless man. You think I didn’t see the secret memo?”
“Memo?”
“Don’t even try to pretend that you don’t know what I am talking about. You asked a Professor of Sociology at the State University here to help you research and draft a report on the psychology of Ijaw people. You asked him to focus on their attitude to inter-religious and inter-ethnic marriage. You paid him ten million naira for a ten-page report Isa.”
“Look here, woman, you have no right to…”
“Shut up, you useless man. In addition to the Professor’s report, you asked your aides to dig secretly into the family life of President Goodluck Jonathan and his wife. You asked them to find out if the new President has any marriageable daughter thirteen years and above.”
“And so what? I am a state governor and citizen of Naijeriyya. It is my duty to know everything about our President”
“Don’t be ridiculous Isa. The picture is crystal clear. Your attitude changed to me as soon as Baba died. Now you are suddenly interested in how Ijaw people view inter-religious and inter-ethnic marriage. And, of course, it also a coincidence that you want to know if the Jonathans have any daughters above thirteen years and above.”
“Think what you want. I’m a man.”
“Isa, I really thought you had class. You haven’t even spared Hajia. She is also now at the receiving end of your insults.”
“Hajia?”
“Ah, you have forgotten her already. Life! Well, Hajia Turai, my mother, rings a bell? I reported you to her but she has not been able to reach you by phone in over a week. We suspect you have taken her off your no-restricted-calls, direct-access list. Perhaps you have replaced her with Patience Jonathan?”
“Don’t be silly, Nafisa. You know that my security aides overhaul the direct access list from time to time. They just might have forgotten to put your mother on the new list. Just an oversight.”
“Hmmmm, Isa, would you have forgotten to put Hajia on that favoured list five months ago? A woman you worshipped like Allah’s deputy just five months ago? Think about that on your flight to Abuja. I leave you to your conscience.”
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