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Ten Things Obama Should Do To Prove That He’s Not A Muslim

August 31, 2010

The number of Americans who think that President Barack Hussein Obama is a Muslim is one in five, and growing. That is not a good thing.

The number of Americans who think that President Barack Hussein Obama is a Muslim is one in five, and growing. That is not a good thing.

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In America of today, being a Muslim is getting worse than being O.J. Simpson. For a president born in Kenya, smuggled to Hawaii in a basket (like Moses), and whose birth was registered some 47 years ago in Hawaii by the FBI who were preparing him to be president in 2008, he does not need more controversies. It is therefore very important for the president to take urgent steps to correct that impression.
 
Here are the ten steps I will recommend immediately.
 
1.)    Obama should begin to use his official Irish name – Barry O’Brien. Clearing that tongue twisting challenge of calling Barack Obama will make 5% of doubters to begin to see him as one of them.
2.)    The presidential motorcade should be sent to Campton, Los Angeles, for pimping. In place of the Cadillac limousine emblem, a figurine of Jesus should be places on the hood and on the trunk. While the flag of the United States flies in front, the flag of Heaven (obtained from Glenn Beck) will fly behind.
3.)    At the next Kennedy Center honors, Obama should publicly rename Malia, Mary, and Sasha, Sarah.
4.)    Jay-Z should present to Obama a Bling Bling made of Jesus on the Cross at the upcoming BET awards.
5.)    At the White House, Obama should remove the portrait of George Washington to create space at the head of the table for the official portrait of Jesus obtained from Rev. Franklin Graham.
6.)    In a Rose Garden press conference with Tom Cruise, Obama should announce that he has converted to Scientology.
7.)    Michelle Obama should be ordered to tattoo the image of Jesus on her arm.
8.)    Obama should launch a campaign to replace, “In God We Trust” with “In Jesus We Trust.” It should be written on U.S currencies and all the bombs to be used in Afghanistan. It will end all confusions about which God we are talking about.
9.)    Obama should personally preach to Tiger Woods until he gives his life to Christ and accepts Jesus Christ as his lord and personal savior.
10.)         Obama should invite Fox News anchors to a prayer breakfast at which Rev. Jeremiah Wright will lead the prayers.
 
If these ten steps do not work, Obama should use the nuclear option. He should call a world press conference at the White House’s West Wing. In the presence of the press, he should burn the Koran to ashes. From there, he should take the world press to the Potomac River and go ahead and walk on water.
 

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