If Nigeria's stories were arranged in a music form, it would be a symphony - an unfinished symphony. The movements are vast. Below is a little quiz that will tell you how much of this composition you know.
If Nigeria's stories were arranged in a music form, it would be a symphony - an unfinished symphony. The movements are vast. Below is a little quiz that will tell you how much of this composition you know.
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Question 1: A Nigerian internet website published an exclusive story of how the Governor of Adamawa state, Mr. Murtala Nyako, goes on sexual escapades in private jets with underage school girls. The site promised a follow-up in which it will publish explicit pictures of the governor caught in the act. Why did the website fail to publish the promised second part?
(a) Because the publisher’s dog ate the negatives of the digital photos.
(b) One of the girls in the picture was from the publisher’s home town.
(c) Gov. Murtala Nyako sent an underage girl, with an Echolac bag full of crisp $100 notes, to the online newsroom.
(d) Ikenna Ellis Ezenekwe delivered.
(e) The story took a back seat when Mrs. Uche Ekwunife’s story broke.
(f) Ambassador Kema Chikwe called from Ireland with a plea for an old flame.
(g) Ikenna Ellis Ezenekwe pleaded for more time to deliver.
Question 2: How was Olusegun Obasanjo tricked into attending the Thanksgiving Service of ex-convict, Bode George?
(a) He got the assurance that he would meet privately with Bianca Onoh, President Goodluck Jonathan’s representative at the august occasion.
(b) Gov. Gbenga Daniel promised to dash him Ms. Mosun Filani at the event, in exchange for a ceasefire in their fight.
(c) Ndi Okereke-Onyiuke told him that she has found his missing 2 million shares of Transcorps and would give him the certificate at the church.
(d) He was told that his son’s wife would finally grant him a private audience in the vestry after the service- for old times sake.
(e) He was shown a cable from New York in which the U.N. Secretary General, Ban Ki-moon, promised to double His Eminence after offerings and also name him the Father of Modern Africa.
(f) He was told that by showing up he would be doing one more thing that Awolowo did not do.
(g) Bode George promised to give him a lifetime supply of Viagra.
Question 3: Jessica Rene Tata, a 22-year-old Nigerian who owned a Day Care Center in Texas, fled to Nigeria after fire killed four children in her care. She tried to hide in several places in Nigeria but none of the places she tried worked out. She finally gave herself up to the U.S. Marshalls.
Where in Nigeria did she try to hide?
(a) Inside the beard of Senator Ahmad Sani Yerima.
(b) At the ‘Baby Factory” in Okigwe where she had signed up to become one of the baby makers at N70,000 a baby.
(c) She smuggled herself into Bode George’s former room inside Kirikiri.
(d) She went deep inside the creek and signed up to be one of Jomo Gbomo’s concubines.
(e) She founded of a new church in Akwa Ibom that was rehabilitating the so called witchcraft children.
(f) She applied to teach early childhood education at Bolaji Aluko University, Otueke, Bayelsa State.
(g) She worked as the Chief Lesbian of the Nigerian female soccer team, the Super Falcons.
Question 4: Why did Gov. Ikedi Ohakim give $60,000 to Catholic priests in Imo State?
(a) To buy indulgence.
(b) To be made a Knight.
(c) For seeing what is under a Reverend Father’s cassock.
(d) For special prayers as he goes in for an Okija shrine mandated castration.
(e) For one year’s supply of Holy Water.
(f) To be declared a saint.
(g) For Catholic priests to exorcise the ghost of Chidi Nwosu.
Question 5: The Freedom of Information bill has just been passed by the National Assembly. Which of these information should the media now reveal?
(a) What ingredient is it that makes Guinness “Good for you”?
(b) Who was the primary school teacher that taught Dame Patience Jonathan English?
(c) Newswatch and its editor-in-chief, Ray Ekpu, can now publish Dele Giwa’s final interview with Gloria Okon’s son.
(d) How many paragraphs of original materials are in President Goodluck Jonathan’s PhD dissertation?
(e) What is the real name of Guru Maharaji?
(f) Which Igbo man fathered Olusegun Obasanjo?
(g) How long was Festus Okotie-Eboh’s wrapper?
Question 6: Which of these was overheard at D’Banj’s interview with President Jonathan?
(a) “But you told me he was coming with Snoop Dogg.”
(b) “We couldn’t get the National Drug Law Enforcement Agency, NDLEA, to grant us a waiver that will allow Snoop Dogg to come into the country with his stack of weeds.”
(c) “Where is Genevieve?”
(d) “Hunting go lead to wanting/ Wanting go lead to something.”
(e) “No question on my vision for Nigeria.”
(f) “Omoge wa je tongolo.”
(g) “Tongolo se wo ni tongolo.”
Question 7: The EFCC is set to try former Gov. of Edo State, Mr. Lucky Igbinedion, for embezzling N19 billion. After his first term in office, everyone considered him a failure. He won reelection in 2003 because his father, The Esama of Benin, Chief Gabriel Igbinedion, said again and again that:
(a) Since you all said that Lucky failed, he must be allowed to repeat.
(b) Since you all said that Lucky failed, he must be allowed to repeat.
(c) Since you all said that Lucky failed, he must be allowed to repeat.
(d) Since you all said that Lucky failed, he must be allowed to repeat.
(e) Since you all said that Lucky failed, he must be allowed to repeat.
(f) Since you all said that Lucky failed, he must be allowed to repeat.
(g) Since you all said that Lucky failed, he must be allowed to repeat.
Answers:
1.) e
2.) b
3.) c
4.) e
5.) f
6.) g
7.) f
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