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Kiss-ing Dr. Ngozi Okonjo Iweala By Pius Adesanmi

April 4, 2014

This column is kiss-ing Dr. Ngozi Okonjo Iweala this week. It will in fact be the shortest piece I’ve ever offered on this platform. I know y’all got dirty minds. Don’t worry, it simply means we are keeping it short and simple for Nigeria’s de facto Prime Minister who has programmed herself never to get it. I was in fact working on a different piece when a stumbled on a Facebook update by Seyi Osiyemi, one of my ‘personal people’ on social media. I decided immediately that his short but powerful update was going to be my guest on this column today. If you are tired of Ngozi Okonjo Iweala’s data and statistical Boko Haram (i.e. her constant bombardment of the public sphere with rosy data and statistics almost always immediately contradicted by her bosses in Bretton Woods), you need to pay attention to Seyi Osiyemi below. As we say in Naija, nothing to add. Says Osiyemi:

This column is kiss-ing Dr. Ngozi Okonjo Iweala this week. It will in fact be the shortest piece I’ve ever offered on this platform. I know y’all got dirty minds. Don’t worry, it simply means we are keeping it short and simple for Nigeria’s de facto Prime Minister who has programmed herself never to get it. I was in fact working on a different piece when a stumbled on a Facebook update by Seyi Osiyemi, one of my ‘personal people’ on social media. I decided immediately that his short but powerful update was going to be my guest on this column today. If you are tired of Ngozi Okonjo Iweala’s data and statistical Boko Haram (i.e. her constant bombardment of the public sphere with rosy data and statistics almost always immediately contradicted by her bosses in Bretton Woods), you need to pay attention to Seyi Osiyemi below. As we say in Naija, nothing to add. Says Osiyemi:

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QUOTE

“Until Iya Ramota, the tomato seller at Mile 12 Market, can be guaranteed uninterrupted power supply...any economic statistic indicating that Nigeria is largest the economy in Africa will continue to sound like 'advanced Greek language'!

Until Sefiu, the vulcanizer at Ajegunle, can turn on his water tap without relying on borehole...any talk of Nigeria being the largest economy cannot be worth more than the paper it is written on!!

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Two years ago, I relocated from one of the richest countries in the world to one of the world's poorest. However, my quality of life has remained the same. I do not own an inverter system, talkless of power generator. If at all there's a power outage, it's only for few minutes.....yes, few minutes!

And there's a call centre I can call to complain about bad service. In fact, I can contact the local power distribution company on social media. I have water running through the tap 24/7.....no boreholes, no water tanker!.. and this is happening right in Uganda and not Oklahoma or Monaco!”

END QUOTE

Dr. Ngozi Okonjo Iweala, shey you hear?

Dazzol!

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