Sermon On The Mount Christ Embassy: Why I’m Disappointed With Pastor Chris Oyakhilome!

I want to first and foremost say that I am saddened by the ongoing marital crisis happening between Pastor Chris Oyakhilome and his wife Reverend Anita. Since they came into the limelight, I have always seen them as the ‘perfect’ couple, perfect in the sense of being made for each other, not in the sense of impeccability or infallibility. Since no one is perfect, I don’t expect a perfect marriage. Personally, I sympathize with this godly family. For years, they have, together, uplifted and touched the lives of many, giving so many lives a meaning, and presenting Christianity in such a beautiful way, not only in Nigeria, but also around the world. Although I do not accept every teaching and theology of Pastor Chris, (You should expect that; I am a Catholic priest), I sure admire him and the wonderful work he has done in Christianity. No one, not even the most traditional and extreme conservative Catholic in Nigeria, should regard Pastor Chris as a failed man of God. He has done some good, together with his wife, Anita. He has built a global church commonly known as Christ Embassy. Pastor Chris is an amazing preacher of the Christian message. From the pulpit, he, together with Anita, has made a strong case for Christianity, and demonstrated that only Jesus Christ can save. They have shown that Christianity is the most beautiful of all religions, the most potent of all religions to change and transform lives. They have shown sufficient reasons why everyone should follow in the footsteps of Jesus Christ. When the lists of famous preachers of the 21st century is drawn, Pastor Chris cannot possibly be ignored. He’s not a featherweight man of God. He’s a preacher with a message and he surely delivers that message powerfully with poise and finesse. If you call him a flashy man of God, you aren’t incorrect. By flashy, I don’t mean an extravagant show of material wealth, rather, an extravagant and elegant use of English grammar in preaching. By that I mean he is a flowery and flamboyant orator-preacher.

But recently, it started appearing in print, online news media, and social networks etc. that this giant man of God’s marriage is on rocky ground. At first, I thought it was a rumor. Rumors oftentimes trail and follow most influential people in the society. If an ordinary guy falters, who cares. But when it involves those at the upper end of the society, it does make huge news. As the days have gone by, I have began to see more publications, updates and several Facebook posts stating that Pastor Chris and his wife, Reverend Anita are heading for divorce. All I did was pray for them and asked God to save their marriage. I do not want to see them go their separate ways. They are much better together. They will continue to accomplish more for God and humanity together. They will be able to serve God better together. They will be able to raise their children and show them good examples better together. They will be happier together and promote Christian marriage together.

Then on Sunday, ( September 7, 2014), Pastor Chris mounted the podium and preached to his congregation:

"You don’t know who a man of God is. I don’t go in that direction. I wasn’t accused of the things you said, nor did I commit those stupid things that you said and I don’t need to go into that level in such discussions. Jesus Christ was accused by many – a lot of frivolous charges… But you know, in spite of the accusations against Jesus, it didn’t change who he was. It didn’t change him. There are preachers and there are men of God. I am not a preacher; I am a man of God and I go in the way I’m asked to go. It may cause some troubles with individuals but that’s not because I have done something wrong and when it comes to Reverend Anita, what I will say to you is ‘pray for her… If you are married to a man of God, it doesn’t make you automatically mature. You can make mistakes; you can do something that is wrong. But some people expect the wife of a minister to definitely be at the level of that minister and so they may be looked upon and the expectation may be like that, but it’s a positional thing. If a man of God is married, it doesn’t automatically mean that the wife of a man of God is therefore a woman of God. That’s not the way it is in the Bible. That’s why you don’t really find the wives of men of God mentioned in the Bible. How many of them? Who was Peter’s wife, did you ever know her name? You never find that out. Who was John’s wife? Did you ever read the name? What about all the other Apostles? How many of their names are written in the Bible. You never find their names. You have to understand something about a man of God. A man of God is not just someone who worships God or preaches God. A man of God is handpicked by God, set on course by God. If you study the scriptures, you will not find one man of God go against God, sinning against God. The only things you might find will be a man of God, maybe in two different kinds of ways. Moses, for example; when he struck the rock twice, [he] was provoked by the anger of the people. [It was] not because he wanted to do something against the Lord. No man of God does something against the Lord. “Are you hearing me? A man of God is set on a course; there is a type of life that he is given." (culled from The Cable)

I am disappointed with Pastor Chris not because I believe he is guilty. I am disappointed with him for not asking his church members to pray for him and his wife. In that sermon, he did not ask his members to pray that his marriage with his wife doesn't collapse. He did not appeal to his wife to reconsider her decision. He did not plead for prayers for himself and his family. Instead, he completely exonerated himself, urged his members to see what is happening to him in the light of what happened to Jesus, tried to convince them that what he is (i.e. a man of God), doesn’t make his wife a woman of God. He told his congregation to pray for Reverend Anita. He couldn't even refer to her as “my wife.” In that sermon, Pastor Chris did not help his case in any way. In fact, he worsened it. I expected him to appeal to his wife to reconsider her decision and to return to him. A man who genuinely wants his marriage to stay alive, who desperately wants his wife to come back to him would have said something like, “Sweetheart, this period is a trying period in our lives, in our marriage. But please, reconsider your decision, come back to me. I miss you. I miss us.” I expected Pastor Chris to appeal to his congregation to appeal to his wife to reconsider her decision, at least for the sake for their family, which includes their children, their love, their ministry, the people of God and for the sake of God as well.

In his sermon, Pastor Chris spent a great deal of his time talking about how there were several men of God in the Bible whose wives were not mentioned. And according to him, their wives were not mentioned because those women were not women of God, and were never called. That's an insult to women. His assertion is not true. Women were largely ignored in the Bible, not because they were ungodly, not because there weren't women of God, but because the society was hugely a male dominated society. In those days, women were seen and not heard. One of the typical Jewish prayers that men prayed then was, "Thank you Lord for not making me a woman." If Pastor Chris and his wife, Reverend Anita cannot keep their marital promise of "For better, for worse... till death do us part" then they have lost credibility to preach and encourage others, especially their congregation, to stay in their marriage when it gets tough. Marriage is really tough, and I understand that. But if they cannot stay in their marriage till death do them part, that would send a laudable wrong signal to others who are already struggling in their marriages and give them a solid reason to end it after all.

During his sermon, Pastor Chris did acknowledge that divorce is unbiblical, but still said that if his wife insists on it, he would sign the papers. As a man of God, he should have known by now that he is called to a different set of standards. Although, it’s unfair to expect more from us men of God, after all, we too are humans, just like everyone else. But then Jesus said, “To whom much is given, much is expected” (Luke 12:48). I may be living on a different planet but I expected Pastor Chris to say: "If my wife brings the divorce papers, I will not sign them because it is not scriptural. I will plead with her; we would seek the face of God and we would find a way out of our current problem.” If he had said that, many in his congregation, including those of us commenting on this issue would have commended him. But he sounded like a man whose mind and heart were already out of the marriage. He sounded like a man whose eyes were already on the lookout for a new wife. He sounded like a man who already wanted out of the marriage.

Pastor Chris actually wants you and I to believe that he was the one called by God, and that his wife wasn’t called. He wants us to believe that he is a man of God, that his wife is not a woman of God. He wants us to believe that even though Anita is married to him, a man of God, that does not mean she is mature. He wants us to believe that since the wives of the Apostles and other great figures in the Old Testament were not written in the Bible; they were not women of God, they were not called by God; they were not set on course. Since their names were not found in the Bible, those women were probably spiritually immature and probably sinful. Since there were not a lot of great women, women of God in the Bible, it means only a few women even during the time of Christ were found worthy to be called and set on course by God. This is what he said: “If you are married to a man of God, it doesn’t make you mature. …that is why you don’t really find the wives of men of God mentioned in the Bible. How many of them? Who was Peter’s wife, did you ever know her name?…what about all the other Apostles? How many of their names are written in the Bible? You never find their names.” You tell me, is that not an insult to women? I am deeply surprised that many people did not catch that. If he preaches that in the USA, the American women would take him to the cleaners and most women in his church would desert him. You don't utter such degrading things about women. Women are our mothers.

Pastor Chris also tried to convince his congregation that he is not a preacher but a man of God, that a man of God cannot do anything against God because he is a man of God. That again is incorrect! No man of God is perfect. Every man of God is human and imperfect, and as such can act imperfectly. Pastor Chris is not a superhuman man of God incapable of falling into temptation. He's not incapable of falling into sin. Pastor Chris is not more called than Pope Francis who said, "I am a sinner. This is the most accurate definition. It is not a figure of speech, a literary genre. I am a sinner." Pastor Chris is not in any way closer to Jesus than the 12 Apostles who fell short from time to time. Pastor Chris is not more called than me. Even I always tell people that, “I am a lost sheep, found by the Good Shepherd.” Distorting the Bible to save face is not the way to go at this point in his life.

He also claims he is a man called by God, set on course by God. He said he is not a preacher but a man of God. (I don’t understand that distinction actually). He therefore concludes having been called by God does not mean that his wife is also called by God, or is also a woman of God. That comment did not help his case at all. His wife would be really furious on hearing it. Anita is the woman he has been running the church with for several years. But she is now not a woman of God! I am praying for him and his wife to resolve their differences and get back to the ministry of God. Together, they are a beautiful couple. Together, they are stronger. Together, they flourished and would flourish even more. They should not allow this current situation to tear them apart. Marriage is “for better, for worse” not “for better, for better.”

Rev. Marcel E. Okwara, CSsR is a Catholic Priest and writes from Baton Rouge, LA, USA

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