As President Buhari prepares to tell Nigerians that he will be standing for re-election in 2019, he was confronted by Nemesis, a spirit of divine retribution against hubris and pretentiousness. Their intriguing encounter is narrated below.
As President Buhari prepares to tell Nigerians that he will be standing for re-election in 2019, he was confronted by Nemesis, a spirit of divine retribution against hubris and pretentiousness. Their intriguing encounter is narrated below.
“Why are you trailing me as if you want to haunt me down?” President Buhari demanded
“You disappointed me”, started Nemesis. “Dapchi happened under your watch; you allowed corruption to lick your lips; you were too slow in responding to the havoc being caused by “killer” herdsmen. Meanwhile, all you do is meet with APC governors and members to plan for 2019. Your day of reckoning may have been delayed, but in the end, it is taking shape: Dapchi Girls + Killer herdsmen + Corruption. Remember troubles coming in threes?” Nemesis asked.
“I really cannot understand why you are throwing these things at me, knowing that they will be used against my re-election in 2019,” said President Buhari, looking away from Nemesis.
He asked, “Who sent you? Is it the cunny old man in Ota farm? Who really, are you?”
“My name is Nemesis. I am Allah na gaskiya (God of Truth). I represent truth, balance, and morality and I am here to confront you with your sins,” Nemesis explained.
“Nemesis?”, asked President Buhari. “From what I can see, you sound more like a witch,” Mr. President said sorrowfully, trying to recollect the last time he was confronted with his failures. For years, he was fed with lies served with pomo by Abba Kyari, Garba Shehu, and Femi Adesina. Faced with the truth for the first time, he found himself struggling for an explanation.
As his thought wanders, he told himself that this is not the time to show weakness. So he charged at Nemesis, “Who the hell do you think you are?”
Nemesis was expecting that stubbornness from a former General, so, he smiled before continuing, “The slave who laughs when he sees his companion’s grave being dug should remember that his days are coming,” Nemesis reminded President Buhari of an Igbo proverb.
“Do you still remember the inaction and confusion after the kidnapping of Chibok Girls? Now, we have Dapchi Girls tragedy and we are watching the repeat of the same old movie. Did I hear that your troops withdrew hours before Boko Haram struck in Dapchi? A familiar insider’s job?” Nemesis posed these questions to the Commander-in-Chief.
“Clearly, what is in the rat’s hole can be found in the squirrel’s hideout. 276 female students were kidnapped in Chibok. About a year later, the 2015 Presidential election was held. Now, 105 Dapchi girls have been kidnapped and in about a year, the 2019 Presidential election will be conducted. Are these mere coincidences?” Nemesis asked, rhetorically.
“According to Agatha Christie, ‘any coincidence is worth noticing. You can throw it away later if it is only a coincidence. Do you know who Agatha Christie is?”, asked Nemesis.
“I will ask my Information Minister, Lai, he knows the answer to everything”, muttered President Buhari.
“Please, please, don’t add insult to injury,” Nemesis said. “Are you talking about that artifact that should be on display at the national museum?”, he asked.
“What sort of witch are you”? asked President Buhari, who is now visibly angry.
“I am the witch of yesterday, today and tomorrow. I appear in shades of different colors, including Transparency International (TI). I thought your ministerial aides are intelligent? Why are they blaming the tortoise Obasanjo and sister Oby for TI’s confirmation of what is already known to every Nigerian? Your administration stinks of corruption Mr. President. Can’t you smell it when Abba Kabiri and Abubakar Malami are around you?” Nemesis loved the discomfort his questions are causing Mr. President.
At this point, President Buhari bowed his head, turned away from Nemesis. Again, his mind wandered to Abba Kabyri and Abubakar Malami. But before he could articulate what to say, he heard Nemesis saying…
“Mr. President, you took the anti-corruption fight very seriously. You loved the sound of anti-corruption. No, worshipped, that's the word. You worshipped anti-corruption. But why have you kept looking for corrupt monsters under your bed, when they are inside you?” Nemesis charged.
“Corruption lives with you Mr. President; they attend the weekly Executive Council meetings with you. They resurrect and repackage disgraced corrupt public officials for appointments and you give your approval.”
Nemesis waited for that to sink in before continuing.
“Doesn’t it depress you that everything you stood for has been tarnished and bastardized? As you get ready to tell Nigerians that you are running in 2019, I want to remind you of this Igbo proverb, ‘One who keeps on storing yam should take time to visit his mother’s home quarter because it is not the yam he will run to when he is in trouble’.”
There was a long silence as Nemesis waited to see if President Buhari will decode the Igbo proverb. There was no response. Nemesis then asked President Buhari, “Do you need to consult Dr. Chris Ngige?”
At this stage, President Buhari asked for permission from Nemesis to it down. He was feeling dizzy and lonely. As he sat down, his mind wanders from the plan for 2019 to the missing Dapchi Girls and the killer herdsmen,
“Now that you are comfortably seated Mr. President, the third piece of the unfolding mishaps that will lead to your downfall is the renegade herdsmen. Why are your security operatives very slow responding to the menace of these weapons of mass destruction? Want it or not Mr. President; how to quench this violence is the riddle of your time. Can’t you see that your every step is dogged with misfortune?” asked Nemesis.
“Sorry I have to go. Enjoy your dance with the bears that are gathering to ensure your downfall. See you on the other side of 2019.” Mr. Nemesis concluded as he disappeared into thin air.
“Please don’t leave me,” murmured President Buhari. But Nemesis was gone.
Suddenly, President Buhari woke up and found himself sleeping. Then, the room was lit up several strange inscriptions flashing on the walls; “Dapchi Girls + Killer Herdsmen + Corruption = Buhari’s Nemesis.”
President Buhari was so scared that he called Kyari, Garba Shehu, and Femi for help. But his voice was drowned by the omnipresent Nemesis, the Greek goddess of indignation.
Suddenly, there was total darkness. But the clock continued to chime, tick-tock, tick-tock to 2019.
You can email Churchill at [email protected] or follow him on Twitter @churchillnnobi
