Bayo Oluwasanmi


“In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.” - George Orwell

The lie by Department of State Services spokesperson, Dr Peter Afunanya, that Omoyele Sowore will be knocked down by a vehicle if released, is a perfect comic imitation of Baba Sala’s Afeeri Yoruba comedy in the 80s.

Baba Sala, who wanted to become rich, decided to rob the bank without being caught. He therefore sought the help of a native doctor – Babalawo – to make him a sort of talisman that would make it impossible for the police or bank officials to identify or arrest him while carrying out the robbery.

Even before he got to the bank right in front of his house on his way out, his neighbour shouted “Baba Sala iwo nuu!” Meaning, Baba Sala that’s you! Baba Sala was so disappointed that the neighbour could identify him. He told his neighbour to pretend as if he didn’t see him. The same scenario played out when he got to the bank. He was caught and arrested for robbing a bank.

But hold your breath. Let the DSS spokesperson introduce himself in his own modest way:

“I’m Dr Peter Afunanya. I’m DSS spokesperson on public lies and propaganda with half my brain tied behind my back. My subject is political propaganda. My stance is distortion. My persona is Buhari comic blow-hard.”

From a moral perspective, frankly I think Afunanya is not even a political problem. He is a psychiatric problem. It is impossible to put meaning into his lies why Sowore and Olawale Bakare are still in DSS custody. Afunanya has become renowned for his penchant for the outrageous. He demonstrates the absurdity by being absurd.

He’s very distant and vulnerable-looking than he sounds when defending DSS. The DSS image launderer, who lacks casual, intimate style, sounds like one of Buhari’s Aso Rock propagandists. He’s intoxicated by lies, especially those flowing from his own lips. He sounds like a real braggart.

He doesn’t show any sign of being a serious or thoughtful or earnest guy. He’s a degenerate rodeo clown – a toxic provocateur. He should be kept far away from civilisation for making excuses for the illegality and unconstitutional acts of DSS. To describe Afunanya’s lies and propagandas as dishonest and demagogic would be equal to promoting it to the level of respectability. To regard Afunanya’s pieces of craps would be to run the risk of a discourse that would never again rise above the excremental.

Fuming from both sides of his mouth, he threatens that Sowore and Bakare would not be released unless their sureties come for them. He crudely disguises his lies as an exercise in seriousness. Fact is, it’s a sinister exercise in moral frivolity. Afunanya exhibits a spectacle of abject professional cowardice. Like Hitler, Afunanya believes the “intelligence of the masses (Nigerian people) is small,” and their forgetfulness is great.” The whole basis of his lies and propaganda is based on the fallacy of ascent – essentially fabrication inflation. He is a rookie counterfeiter of lies!

Afunanya represents a fool operating without insight. He attempts to control reality like a magician. His choreographic lies with elaborate stumbles follows the idea of the apotheosis of the absurd. Afunanya is nothing. As soon as he starts behaving that he is something, he becomes precarious. No surprise, he cease to be mindful and mistake fantasy for reality.

Afunanya is a fool at the centre of DSS conspiracy to sell poison to Nigerians as cool aid. His thoughts and pronouncements are fallacious, essentially a paranoid construct, one of interpreting reality for what it is not. His blind defense of DSS amounts to ultimate paradoxical joke of presenting President Muhammadu Buhari and his administration as the fool of the future.

Afunanya is a man, who doesn’t shift his brain into gear before putting his mouth into motion. With his half-baked fantasies and loaded bias, no reflective or informed person can possibly believe his lies. He’s a silly and shady man, who does not recognise courage of any sort even when he sees it because he cannot summon it in himself. To him, easy applause in front of credulous Buhari supporters is everything.

I would like to remind Afunanya that propaganda is only meaningful and believable when it can show positive results. Fellow Nigerians, as Sowore’s detention lingers on, brace yourselves for more of Afunanya’s Rapid Response Rabble. We can all agree no matter how the RRR is blended, crushed, pureed, cooked, and packaged, it’s all flat-out phony baloney!

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