African Men And White Women: What’s The Attraction?

By Sabella Ogbobode Abidde

According to the Pew Research Center’s analysis of recent US Census’s demographic data, one-in-seven new marriages in the US are interracial or interethnic.

This number is stunning especially considering the fact that until forty-four years ago, interracial liaisons were unlawful in 16 or so states. And even in states were they were not proscribed, they were frowned upon. At the very least, such relationships and encounters conflicted with the social mores of several enclaves. It sounds silly now, but really, it was only in June 1967 that the U.S. Supreme Court, in Loving v. Virginia, knocked down the Virginia law that forbade whites from marrying blacks. In the intervening years, however, America has become more diverse than any other country in the industrialized world.

The data in question seem not to separate Africans from the African-Americans and the general non-white pool. Therefore, one is unable to make statistically valid deductions as to why Africans, in greater numbers, are attracted to and are marrying white women. To be clear: this essay does not make any scientific statement or conclusion. I have only taken the liberty to make inferences from my years of cursory observations in and around several enclaves across the United States. What’s more, I have friends and friends of friends who have dated, dating, have married or are currently married to white and Hispanic women and women of Asian background. This essay, then, looks at why African men are attracted to non-African women. I have used white women to denote all non-African women from the US, Latin America, Europe and elsewhere. The question here is simple: why are African men into white women? What’s the attraction?

First is the liberal attitude of many African men. After several years of living in the US, some seems to have come to the conclusion that African women are simply too raw, unrefined and conservative. The alternative then becomes women who, in their opinion, are stylish, sassy and spunky and nontraditional.  They seek women who are liberal and with expansive worldview that fits with their new orbit. Second is the issue of the proverbial American dream. That is to say that the African immigrants are not much different from other immigrants who come to the US in search of the American dream. America, after all, is the land of endless possibilities. To get their feet inside the American door, therefore, some believe they needed an agreeable native to help them through this process (without which the American dream may become very difficult to achieve).

The third factor revolves around the issue of compatibility and companionship. The room-mate phenomenon where you test-drive a relationship is not very common in Africa. Some men and women feel trapped by such reality. In a society where trial-and-error relationships are not very common, couples may be subjected to a life of anguish should things go awry. But in the US, one could test-drive a relationship without long term commitment. This kind of arrangement gives the Africans the opportunity to explore alternatives. And this, they cannot easily and readily do, with African women.
 
In the movies and in magazines, most white women are depicted as sensual, sexual and alluring; and as creatures to be taken. These images, and the messages they send have not escaped the mind of a typical African male. Once in the U.S, all he wants is what he has for so long desired. He itches to poke, to bite and to lick the once forbidden fruit. In other words, the untouchable become touchable. For many African men, once they taste the white honey, they may never go back to the blackberry basket. And the fifth reason is this:  for some Africans, the mind altering sex is a standalone reason to want the white woman. The argument, as some have posited, is that most African women are bad at sex. Even terrible! Most, I am told, just lay there -- motionless. White women, the argument goes, makes a man think of things he shouldn’t be thinking about; thoughts he shouldn’t be having, and fantasies he shouldn’t be floating in.

And of course, there is the rejection of the familiar. Americans are wont to say “Been there…done that.” Africans are wont to say it, too -- especially when it comes to African women. Their argument goes like this: “for years and years I dealt with Africans women; well, now that I am in America, why should I deal with them again?” As my cousin, Raphael Harry puts it, “…now they are in a foreign land they need to try something else and some ended up loving what they tasted and never went back.... I have seen it in Male and Female friends of mine.” It seems some make the conscious decision to abandon African women in favor of the whites. This kind of attitude is mostly prevalent among the younger generation of Africans from the English speaking African countries.

Also, there is old-fashioned love. By this I mean there are African men who love white women for no particular reason than old-fashioned love. For such men, loving and marrying white women has nothing to do with race or color or nationality or culture. Or even sex. They are not rejecting the African woman. No, not at all! They simply can’t help themselves and blind to several externalities. In order words, such men would have married a Chinese, Japanese, a Mongols or whomever and it still wouldn’t matter. Love is love and they marry the person they love and are in love with. It is that simple. These are men who believe that love conquers all and are determined to stay in and nurture their loving relationships.
 
And finally, there are the anecdotal reasons. For instance, there are those who believe that white women, in general, are more fun and accommodating and are easy to get along with. Africans -- and frankly, black men in general -- will tell you that for the most part, white girls are free of the high and low dramas that are usually associated with African and African-American women. Also, there is the belief that white women are easily manipulated. I doubt if this is true, though. And finally, it is believed that black women mostly wait for men to walk up to them, to propose -- while white women have no such hang-ups. If necessary, and under the right condition, they would make the first move. Many men, it seems, find this direct approach joyful and liberating and aphrodisiacal.

In spite of the aforesaid, one must be careful not to generalize. What is true of one person may not necessarily be true of another especially since we all have diverse life experiences, and usually find ourselves under different and varying circumstances. Nonetheless, it is important to understand why, in cities and states across the United States of America, an increasing number of African men are in long term relationship with white women. We need to understand the attraction. We also need to understand the ramifications, both in the short and long term. From the Washington DC metropolitan area to New York and Chicago down south to Houston and Dallas and westward to Seattle and Los Angeles, we see an alarming number of single African women (divorced and never remarried or have simply never been married before). Is it their choice to remain single or could it be that an increasing number of black men are no longer into black women. What’s going on?

•    Sabella Abidde lives in Montgomery, Alabama. He is on Facebook and can also be reached at: Sabidde@yahoo.com

 
 

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African men

I'm an english white woman. Let's not put all men or women into one box. Not all white women are attracted to african men, the same as not all african men are attracted to white women. Some african men are only after a green card, or are out to scam. It happened to me a lot on dating sites. I told them to fuck off, and to stop using me for money, or to get into my country. Anyway, the english government have had enough of immigrants, and are banning them from England. Who do some african men think they are? You are not suddenly entitled a green card, or anything else. Materialistic. So bad.

NO HATERS

Why is it that people know so much to critisize a brother's work of opinion than they would do themselves.Abbide is right the world is taking a different inclation in every aspect.To be rude in public subject is to expose to the world your loads of silliness.

hi

Hi I'm paige, white female, aged 22, just would like to say I totally agree in what your saying. But I promise not all white girls are the same....lol

this is drivel. the standard

this is drivel. the standard of english in this piece is so poor, it's laughable..and embarrassing. some of the points you made have some basis but you came across as a biased, illiterate young man who was far too excitable about the prospect of african men finally achieving their carnal desires of a token white partner to write in a coherent manner.

the bottom line is, that yes interracial relationships are increasing, but socially these white women are moving down. the most sensible interracial relationships in terms of superficial reasons (economics being the most sensible one) is for non-white women to pair with white men. white men are far more likely to be financially successful and come from a middle-class background. they provide, more often than not, stability, reliability and usually have a great family and work ethic - something that many ss african and black men do not possess.

black men should date whoever they feel attracted to, and should anyone else - but asian women are smart enough to know that if you are going to date inter-racially, you should move up the social ladder, and not down. just look up the numbers of asian women married to white men compared to blacks - they know better

Survival of the fittest..

Guys have to survive from residential permit, free money, no family asking your wife to send money back home, more sexy and quite frankly are very good in bed and produced beautiful children.

Over-Recylced Article !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mr Abidde,
How long will you continue to publish and republish the same article? Write something new and different for a change!

Black Men Get Carried Away By Oyinbo

Most black men get carried away by Oyinbo.Curiosity to see how Oyinbo TOTO dey taste, is another factor in that kind of marriage.PPl looking 4 Kpale is another reason.But most of the time, they always leave d oyinbo woman as soon as they get their Kpale.My own experience after sampling white, Japanes,Chinese,Indian Toto, is that the Black TOTO is d best!

A Wise lady or gentleman

A Wise lady or gentleman will
vote 4 corrupt free nation
vote 4 infrastructure development
vote 4 secured nation
vote 4 united nation
vote 4 economic growth
I believe you are wise, so
vote Buhari & Bakare
vote CPC

LETS BE CIVIL

I think the people commenting missed the crucial point. The writer noted that there is no statistical database for his writing, therefore, he is simply writing about his observation. Until anyone else lives his life, noone can trully disagree with his observation but I can tell the commentators here that I observed some of these and been queried about some of the assumptions noting that I have 4 black younger sisters. Nevertheless, I disagree that majority of black men do things the way described by Sabella but for what is worth, there is no point arguing about other people personal observations. Provocative writing anyhow remain good otherwise there will be no wake up call.

I dont think ur rite man this

I dont think ur rite man this ur article was not thought through, white women go for black men because they believe black men has got large dick and d sex drive!

Crazy

Sabella or whatever your name is, you dey craze. If you are an African you just insulted your mother. The approach should be about the sorry-ass white women who promise security to African immigrants to lure them into marriage. Whatever happened to the many African men who are married to African women in America?

Greed

The Marriages are not for love but greed and material gain.

Most inter-racial marriages

Most inter-racial marriages are as a result of life circumstances (convenience probably). If you are in this kind of relationship, chances are that you got the leftover of other people (the ones their type do not want to deal with). Although, this is not true in all cases. Women seeking other racial group of men, usually have various packages(heavy weight, children from previous relationships, financial hardship and more).

This is an old story with no substance; there are more things to worry about in a relationship rather than be a maniac. Women are wonderful people regardless of racial ... they all quest for love.

I am not against inter-racial marriages but I do advise that people marry for love and not for convenience.

Very unimpressive writer.

16 years married to a white woman- Praise Lord

First, I give praises to Almighty God for giving my such a nice, easy-going, intelligent, beautiful white woman.

Oh Lord, you know I can't thank you enough for giving us 2 cute, brilliant, obedient, intelligent kids.

Please answer our prayers to grant the family good health and long life.

And you know that my SOUR experience with a black woman made me decide for a white woman...and I've never regretted it even for a minute.

Oh Lord I praise you!!!

white women only love black fools

my problem with white women is that they don't like wise black man , bro there is not in white women as for me i love african women

Dude is not implying any of

Dude is not implying any of what u said and in a coupla lines he said these are reasons he has observed he is not trying to stereotype. Just like u point out ur friends who wont date black men it wolud be wrong for someone to get on their hi horse n ask u "are u implying that black mean are lazy" or ur white friend that only dates asian guys over 5 billion people on earth so evryone, group, race or creed is going to have their own story. Your right this topic is dated to me and u however there are other people that this is new too so .....

Sabella needs mental test

This idiot Sabella whose head is empty apart from thinking how to sleep with women needs urgent mental test.SR why do you give space to this nonentity to write this rubbish?.I want to belief he is not a Nigerian..as our culture and discipline doesn't warrant us to be so shameless and useless.Sorry little devil.

Poor Title & Report

Your title should be Why are white women into African men? Like you wrote, white women are liberate. And it is no surprise that many of them travel to Africa (especially Kenya) to get laid by young African men. And what do you expect? Nobody want them anymore, and they want to get laid! Beside, who are these white women that are following black men. Are they more beautiful than our women? Take a trip to all Africa countries and see beautiful women: From Ethiopia to Somalia, Kenya, South-Africa, Nigeria, Rwanda, you name it!

Our women faced more problems by these so called attractive white women. If any of our women (black) tries to be free, we labelled her as prostitute! Our women are in between the rock and a hard place. By the way, I never knew that Sabella is man's name.

Have I been with a white woman before? Yes, and I don't see what she can offer than what a black woman offer. If I found them better, I would have married a white woman anyway, since I can financially take care of her. But thank God I didn't. I am married to very beautiful, resourceful, intelligent, caring, supportive black woman.

May black men who went for whites are mostly for financial gain anyway.

Africa has the most beautiful women on earth.

I rest my case.

Gboluwaga.

Buhari and Ribadu have their wives in Purdah-whitee no go gree

Buhari will be disgraced at the election because Nigerians do not trust him for the following reasons:

The Buhari Deception
« on: March 16, 2011, 06:21 AM »

THE TRUTH ABOUT BUHARI REVEALED

Originally By: Kekere ekun

In my books, Buhari is a pretentious anti-corruption fighter. The trajectory of a man's journey in public life matters. For the follwoing reasons I can not vote for Buhari

1. He is an oligarch who does not believe in equality before the law. The way he jailed Lateef Jakande, Jim Nwobodo, Ambrose Ali, Pa Adekunle Ajasin, Chief Ayo Ojewumi on cases that had no foundation and allowed Awwal Ibrahim, the then Niger State governor, who was arrested in Heathrow Airport in London with 14 million pounds sterling and several millions of Niara and dollars to be under house arrest is my evidence. He also allowed Shehu Kangiwa, Sokoto State Governor who conducted and supervised the famous Bakolori Massacre of poor peasant farmers whose land were appropriated without compesation to remain under house arrest.

1(a) Ayo Ojewumi became blind as a result of his imprisonment over false charges and died shortly after.

1 (b) Prof. Ambrose Alli also became blind as a result of this false imprisonment. When he died, he had only one undeveloped plot of land to his name.

1© Pa Adekule Ajasin was never the same after his eventual release and remained sickly for the rest of his life. Whe he died, he never had any property anywhere in the world except the one he had built from his sweat as long term teacher and school principal in Owo township.

2. He put in place a retroactive law that killed three men, innocent men in my book, by public execution. He left untouched an alleged well known drug baron in Ibrahim Babangida who later overthrew his government.

3. He jailed Ndukar Irabor and Tunde Thompson of the Guardian on stories that were factually true under Decree 4. He had told the Nigerian journalists then that it did not matter whether the story reported was true or not, if his regime did not like it, the writer would go to jail.

4. He supervised the smuggling of 53 suitcases filled with cash througth the MMA against the protests of General Tunde Idiagbon and ironically, Abubakar Atiku, the then Director General of the Customs who later became the Vice President and a compromised politician himself. This smuggling of the suit cases were supervised by his ADC, Col. Mustapha Jokolo.

5. He jaile Fela Anikulapo -Kuti on trumped up charges under emergency law which prompted the sentencing judge to confess that he was ordered to do so and apologised to the late musician

6. He convinced all the northern political leaders against allowing the National Identity Card program because according to him, this would unravel the myth of Northern population majority

7. He is an Islamic fundamentalist, the Bin Laden of Nigeria, who told his northern followers never to vote for anyone who was not a muslim.

8. He is a coup plotter.

9. He has never been able to account to Nigerians what he did with the 20 billion Naira of the Petroleum Trust Fund of which he was the chairman under Sani Abacha.

9(a) He has not been able to point to any project that he prosecuted outside the Northern Nigeria with the so-caled trust fund.

10. He was in full support of all the atrocities of Sani Abacha against the Nigerian people. There is no single record of his criticism of Sani Abacha during those dark days when Nigeria was on precipice. It shows that he is a patriot of convenience and as such unfit to lead the country.

I can not in good conscience support Buhari's candidacy on the above grounds. I hope and pray that Nigerians would not make any mistake of putting him in the helm of affairs.

ONLY CRACK-HEADS AND IDIOTS WILL WASTE THEIR PRECIOUS TIME TO VOTE THIS GOD-FORSAKEN SELF-MADE GENERAL.

--------------------

This is a baseless attempt at

This is a baseless attempt at commentary.

BLAME THE AFRICAN OR AFRICAN-AMERICAN WOMAN WHY AN AFRICAN MAN DOES NOT WANT TO MARRY HER.

Are you implying by your commentary that marriages between African men and white women are successful? If so why did Obama's mother live his Kenyan father for an Asian?

Are you implying that white women are submissive/easy? Isnt that saying a lot about African men? That they are so weak that they can not fight for what they want?

Are you also implying that white women make perfect wives, if so why is the divorce rates in America amongst whites the highest among other races including the blacks.

Are you implying that black women or African women are not cultured? If so, why is the level of crass in America vast increasing to the point that a sex tape is a sure guarantee to sucesss.

This commentary is done to rob the senseless ego of black men.

Inter-racial relationships are increasing between races whether black or white or asian or whatever. It is not about BLACK MEN. It never was. It has always been the social dynamics between races.

This black men prefer dogs to humans or prefer whites to whatever has to stop. It is ridiculous and frankly this conversation is DATED.

I have male African friends who have married white women and gone back to marry African women. They could not stand their white companions. I have female African women who will NEVER date black men, because they find them lazy and difficult to get on with. And I have white female friends who can not stand marrying a black man but has no problem with an asian.

AFRICA IS DIVERSE. Many people have their reasons...you should learn not to generalize.

Daft question!

The question posed, " why are African men into white women? What’s the attraction? " is so stupid and uneducated!

People are individuals, yet you treat them as one group, be it African men or African women, or non-African women; as if you can replace one white woman with another or one latino woman with another.

Hey! I thought the question

Hey!
I thought the question should be put the other way round?
Why are more black women marrying white men!
Is it because the black guys have left town for white women? Or as claimed by many black women, black guys are not serious, to down right irresponsible!
One thing is certain there are more inter-racial marriages today than they were in the past

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It's 2011 - does it matter?

I can't believe someone is still asking these sorts of questions.
You live in a country with a president who is mixed race and you wonder at the ramifications of inter-racial marriage?
Many women unmarried in USA are that way for various reasons - they want their independence. They have many children by their 20s and not many men can take that on.
It's not the 'duty' of black men to take black women off the shelf. You should marry for one reason only, ie, you love someone and wish to grow old with them.
I'd rather my kids are happy and don't care if my son/daughter in law comes from Japan, Jamaica, Yemen, Scotland, USA, Iraq, Russia or even Mars. We're all human beings at the end of the day. And what would you prefer? An honest well behaved foreigner marrying your child or a very arrogant, wicked and 419 minded Nigerian?
I know in Alabama people still have racial hangups due to history, but the rest of the world has moved on. In Nigeria, yes, Nigeria, a lot of marriages now are between people of different nationalities and no one bats an eyelid. Go home for a visit and you'll see this.

confirmed!

Confirmed! I am a nigerian and honestly I get along with "whites" (as defined by sabella ) more easily than my fellow blacks. Why? I also can't explain it.
I have been happily married with my hispanic wife and I have never for once regretted it. She is so cultured, well mannered and fun as well.
In my next world, I would definitely marry her again. :)

Ignoramus

for a supposedly well-educated and well-exposed to be coming up with such a racist bile is really sad. abi, oyibo women no gree your own, bachelor sabelle abidde?

hmmmm

african women in marriage have a way of not being light hearted. after a few years in marraige it turns to a formality. i could be shot for saying they are built for polygamy. the only way to keep and african woman on her toes and exciting is to be very rich, by her the expensive stuff especially cars and then conciously act in ways that constantly make your fidelity suspect..... that way anytime you want, she purrrsssss....

on a physical note african women are a bit heavy.. having said that their construction and geometry is the most accurate, texture included.

U no get work

Na who dey chuk who for night be ya concern with all the wahala wey full dis world.

Yeye man.