Femke Becomes Funke: Celebrating Mediocrity In Nigeria By Femke van Zeijl

i couldn't help the out bust of laughter that shook my entire body when i read this part: "And everyone knows this. They groan and mutter and tweet about it. But still, to my surprise, no one calls for a class-action suit against those deceitful providers." i only said: "this man needs a lecture in Nigerian Justice system. if he cant see the outcome of cases and how long they are being adjourned. nobody has 10yrs to waste on a court case he is sure to lose.who has ever won a big man in a court in Nigeria? not even the government.

Thanks for this piece funke, your understanding of what is essentially ''A Nigerian problem" is outstanding. The change Nigeria requires will come from Nigerians themselves, only when we shed the Mediocrity and impunity that has held us back for so long. until we grease up the rust of our inaction, do less talk but act.

Ikeazor,

If mediocrity was unacceptable by the senior officers, Useni will not have been promoted to such a high rank and would not have been head of state. These states are yet to recover because people are not holding the elected official accountable. Throwing an an appreciation party to celebrate a governor for fixing a road (part of his job description oh)equals celebrating mediocrity!

Femke, there is history to it. And it began with your brothers in Europe. They came here and overturned the order of things at the mercy of Gatling and Browning machine guns. They made third rate people kings and chiefs, over fit and proper persons; exiled the proper traditional authorities who got their positions after very exhaustive, centuries old processes; assembled and mowed down whole communities for daring to oppose their installation of mediocrity. So, mediocrity became the new normal. And they, and their partners in mediocrity have never looked back.

Don't we all know this?  But trying telling naijas the only way to change the country is through individual deeds and you will be lynched!  Very convenient to blame 'leaders' that we enable for our problems.  I've herd numerous times that people cannot be called upon to change when we have 'corrupt' leaders!  And that until that happens, then they will also drive on the wrong side of traffic, not pay taxes, not pay for electricity (even if intermittent, why shouldn't we pay for the one w get???), be rude to everyone else including on planes and make the country unlivable!  I'm tired ojare - ready to move on and from Nigeria.  I'm more concerned with Africa anyway and if it's Rwanda or kenya giving me hope, then Rwanda or kenya  is my country! 

Don't we all know this?  But trying telling naijas the only way to change the country is through individual deeds and you will be lynched!  Very convenient to blame 'leaders' that we enable for our problems.  I've herd numerous times that people cannot be called upon to change when we have 'corrupt' leaders!  And that until that happens, then they will also drive on the wrong side of traffic, not pay taxes, not pay for electricity (even if intermittent, why shouldn't we pay for the one w get???), be rude to everyone else including on planes and make the country unlivable!  I'm tired ojare - ready to move on and from Nigeria.  I'm more concerned with Africa anyway and if it's Rwanda or kenya giving me hope, then Rwanda or kenya  is my country! 

Thank you Femke for hitting the nail on the head. It's the mediocrity that breeds the corruption in Nigeria.People who got to the top without meriting it always think that success in life is measured by how much you accumulate in wealth either legitimately or otherwise. Those who aspire to be the best in whatever they set for themselves find joy and fulfillment in achieving the goals they set. I disagree that military rule was largely responsible for our condition. Far from it. The truth is that mediocrity has become a national ethos revered by all and sundry, except the insignificant few that detest it either through utterances or within their mind. There has never been any collective group or class action to challenge it.

This assessment is correct. However, I think the problem has to do with military rule, which lasted close to thirty years. Majority of those who joined the military in the 1950s and 1960s were the ne'er do wells. In less than six years after independence, these mediocres were running Nigeria. I have an uncle who was appointed acting military governor from time to time. Till date, wen I hear his perception of issues I realise the tragedy which befell Nigeria by sending the ne'er do wells into the armed forces, only for those armed forces to become its ruling class. When General Jeremiah Useni (who joined the army as a truck driver) became Military Governor of Bendel State (now Edo and Delta States) in 1984, his first step was to shut down schools of nursing, colleges of education, teacher training colleges and the like. They were too many, he said. We are yet to recover.

@OC:

U claim "I'm not surprised that you did not understand my articles"

Fool, go through the responses to the trash you call your articles ..... are all those responses from tundemash alone? 95% of the responses to your trash articles told you what you are; A FOOL. Only your fellow imbeciles Deri, Oleku, akpos1 understood the trash you wrote. They are the ones you needed to interpret NEPOTISM to in several lines just to be seen this time around to be doing something. You fool no one but yourself. You have a reputation of being a FRAUD. No matter how much lipstick you try to put on now, your pig will always be a pig ! Still waiting for the achievement you claim you achieved in UK ... or are they invisible like your mentor's achievement too ?

@OC:

U claim "If this is the type of English that you speak in the UK, then you give Nigerians a bad name. Thank God for achievers like us, otherwise, the white man would have concluded and painted all of us with the same paintbrush"

Ain't u funny ? What did u achieve ? The fact that you lied your way to Citizens Advice Bureau and got eventually sacked or what ? WHAT EXACTLY DID YOU ACHIEVE WITH YOUR FAKE LAW DEGREE ? It is people with Ibori-like tendencies like you that give Nigerians bad names all over. YOU ARE A FRAUD ! Once again, I put it to you that you are a fake lawyer .... if you are a genuine one ... how come you can't sue since all these days afterall it would cost you nothing to argue your own case. Achievement with mouth .... Jonathan-like !

Re - "It is took (sic) you so many blogs to make your point and still ended up not making sense".

The last time I ever heard someone speak like that was while watching 'Aluwe' or one of the 'Baba Sala' type comedy. I sometimes cannot imagine that I engage you or spend, rather, waste time on you, at all. I kept believing that one can still reform you. And that you will change. But you seem to be getting worse. You are a totally irredeemable case!

If this is the type of English that you speak in the UK, then you give Nigerians a bad name. Thank God for achievers like us, otherwise, the white man would have concluded and painted all of us with the same paintbrush. Thank God that they know the difference, and recognise that every society has dregs like you in it.

Re - "Femke's write-up was provoked by the hopelessness...in the land. If your moron bro Jona was on the right path, Femke's article would have been worthless.". In other words, Femke wrote BECAUSE of President Jonathan.

I'm not surprised that you did not understand my articles, just as well as you did not understand this one. Otherwise, you wouldn't have said what you said. In your sawdust-filled and MYOPIC brain, Femke's article could not have been directed to OTHER GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS, like the LOCAL GOVERNMENTS AND STATE GOVERNMENTS OFFICIALS? ILLITERATE! That's it! I give up on you! It's pointless! You are a hopeless and irredeemable case!

Re - "You only need to read through responses of Nigerians to your silly articles...". These will be Nigerians like you, obviously! The type that are brainless or full of emptiness! The crass type! The 'MY OGA AT THE TOP' type of people! It doesn't surprise me.

Re - "Femke's write-up was provoked by the hopelessness...in the land. If your moron bro Jona was on the right path, Femke's article would have been worthless.". In other words, Femke wrote BECAUSE of President Jonathan.

I'm not surprised that you did not understand my articles, just as well as you did not understand this one. Otherwise, you wouldn't have said what you said. In your MYOPIC and sawdust filled brain, Femke's article could not have been directed to OTHER GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS like the LOCAL GOVERNMENT AND STATE GOVERNMENTS OFFICIALS? ILLITERATE! That's it! I give up on you! It's pointless! You are a hopeless and irredeemable case!

Re - "You only need to read through responses of Nigerians to your silly articles...". These will be Nigerians like you, obviously! The type that are brainless or full of emptiness! The crass type! The 'MY OGA AT THE TOP' type of people! It doesn't surprise me.

Hi Femke,
You have indeed hit the nail on the head. Mediocrity has been elevated to an art form in Nigeria. This is felt in the quality of decisions made by public officials, the award of national honors, the quality of products produced in our climes, even in the quality of contributions to national discourse on burning issues.
Good for you that after one year in Nigeria, you can still self-criticize and come to your own conclusions about your column. We must all begin to engage in such self-assessments for improvement, and refuse to accept poor service and the recognition and honoring of underachievers. Nigeria is not a land of the blind, where one eyed men and women can be accepted as God-sent. Talent abound here, but when we cannot define excellence, the future generations are doomed. This is the cruz of the matter. Are our younger generations listening?

@THINK2WIC£

U claim "Time is of d essence..unlike u who 4rm all indications,sit @home ALL day punching @yur Computer, while yur wife/GF goes out 2earn a living 4 a Frustrated Sadist trying 2come 2terms with a Failed Career, & a low paying job as an APC Typist! "

Guess what ? You are better off as a comedian than trying to be a Crumbie.
Poverty is a terrible disease that corrupt even the mind so much you take basic things in life as luxury. Unfortunately for you, I live in a society where fast internet access is two a pence. Severally, aside from home, I park by roadside, in restaurant or overland trains and get on the internet. So I understand your frustration since you need to get into that humid cafe and struggle for space with the yahoo boys or struggle with generator (I better pass my neighbour) before you could even browse a page. But I tell you, things could be better but first sort out your typing; it is terrible ! U can't use SMS style for a blog for public.

@OC

It is took you so many blogs to make your point and still ended up not making sense.
I know what hurts your most, it is my exposition of you as a fake lawyer which you couldn't deny anyway. Tufiaka ! Nigeria will not end up with another Ibori from same UK claiming what he's not.

Comparing your silly write-ups to that of Femke is similar to Deri's comparison of Jonathan to Obama; it is simply criminal !

Femke's write-up was provoked by the hopelessness (which you support because of ethnic sentiment) in the land. If your moron bro Jona was on the right path, Femke's article would have been worthless. You only need to read through responses of Nigerians to your silly articles and compare with responses of same Nigerians to Femke's article.

@THINK2WIC£

Obviously u are an other Port harcourt degree (PhD) like your mumu President. Not surprised the Crumbies make sense to you; oil pollution is really devastating. Looking at the list, THINK2WIC£, OC, Deri, akpos1, khumalo, you all have one thing on common; poverty of mind !

U claim "My 'SMS' Abbreviations is cos 4me,"

How does having capitals mid sentence shorten your time Mr. Moron ? How does writing half of a word in capitals and the other half in small case shorten your time ?
Is this how you were thought to write at the Amnesty Programme ?

Have a read,(including one by another writer), and you will see that the writer and I are on the same page! See links, FYI -

http://saharareporters.com/article/nigerians-are-nigeria%E2%80%99s-bigge...

http://saharareporters.com/article/nigeria%E2%80%99s-biggest-problem-fol...

http://saharareporters.com/article/presidential-appointments-%E2%80%93-s...

http://saharareporters.com/article/problem-our-appointment-systems-nigeria

http://saharareporters.com/article/celebrating-ineptitude-and-mediocrity

http://saharareporters.com/article/sack-samson-siasia-now

http://saharareporters.com/article/x-raying-super-eagles

http://mobile.saharareporters.com/article/reflections-london-2012-olympics

http://saharareporters.com/article/almajiris-or-forgotten-lot-%E2%80%93-...

http://mobile.saharareporters.com/article/april-2011-elections-aftermath...

For you have spoken well and i agree with you silence should be the best answer the fool/s @tundemash aka wahala my advise to both of them is, it is not a crime to be jobless but it is worst than a crime when joblessnes defines who you are...@tundemash hope you can still read, educated illitrate

You just proved the woman right of our collective level of intellectual
mediocrity. I am sure you are from the so called south-south where mediocrity has its headquarters in laziness village situated at militancy local government.

No need i see your bloated ego is over powering your senses it is expected of you, your copy and paste writting is easyly understandable what amazes me is your low level of reasoning my God help this poor soul

"I will advise you concentrate on your amnesty rehabilitation programme, after 2015, it is back to the jungle" - cr. : @ tundemash

Bayelsa has no heroes, the two thugs they had, one got hanged and the other ended up buried in a foreign cemetary bcos his enclave in deep inside impenetrable jungle. So, don't expect teeth from douls. It's just @ Deri and a couple of half-illitrates churning out Waffi words for crumbs using different names but same IP addr., ignore the touts and concentrate on their Jaja. Obama resisted having the chimp around him, Gates and others are staying due to their moron's in/actiosn, the EU and freelance writers like Brinkley and Femke don tire. Dumbo's mumu don tire ev'ryboy. Yet, fools will defend evil with their ogogoro-injured minds by attacking anybody other than their Wetback Ijaw clan. Bigots. Fashi dem.

Very funny, your LIES about my support for SUBSIDY REMOVAL. I wrote an article about it (http://mobile.saharareporters.com/article/another-subsidy-removed).

Excerpts from it reads, "Therefore, before the ‘subsidy’ (if this still exists) is removed, the Government ought to consider the effects their actions would unleash on the poor and long suffering masses.".

I further wrote, "Everyone desires that the Government has sufficient spending power to rebuild the society and the systems, revamp or rebuild infrastructures and our dwindling institutions, and also create jobs. However, equally too, the people need a Government that is creative, transparent enough and has the gravitas and the balls to deal with corrupt people and the rogues amongst them, and not seek an easier way out by punishing the people with more hardship. The Government should view the subsidies as some form of Welfare Benefits for deserving Nigerians, as imperfect as it seems".

In spite of all the salient issues the writer made reference to, your shallow or myopic summary of the issues, is 'that it was all about the President'. ILLITERATE JATI-JATI!

You claim that others have written about these issues before. I can say that, and not you, that the writer did not say anything new THAT I HAVEN'T WRITTEN ABOUT BEFORE. I wonder where your brain took flight to when I wrote about these things. Oh, I know! You don't have one! Instead of read with UNDERSTANDING, the issues and points made in those articles, you were busy hating (yourself) and showing off the worst of mankind!

Even if some of us have written about these issues before, it is worth reiterating them to prevent 'MY OGA AT THE TOP' dunces like you!

There is nothing new in this article.Fela Anikulapo Kuti sang about all the same issues mentioned in the article thirty to forty years ago.As Fela's music goes Teacher don't Teach me nonsense applies to this writer.

Comments 4rm those u Hav a Phobia for (Deri, Oleku, O.Dioka, akpos 1,etc) might seem Extreme sumtyms but a discerning mind can alwys Get d messge they r tryin 2put across.UNFORTUNATELY, d same CAN'T b said of YOU! Comin 2think of it,do u really mke any comments 2artcles or ONLy 'ReJoinders'? U r to APC wot okupe is 2PDP; A FRUSTRATED ATTACK DOG! My 'SMS' Abbreviations is cos 4me,Time is of d essence..unlike u who 4rm all indications,sit @home ALL day punching @yur Computer, while yur wife/GF goes out 2earn a living 4 a Frustrated Sadist trying 2come 2terms with a Failed Career, & a low paying job as an APC Typist! No one shuld actually Dignify u wit a Response..I'll Desist HENCEFORTH! Afterall, if a Sane man fights a LUNATIC, How do u tell d SANE & d INSANE??? Go see a Shrink FAST!! Your problems r MULTI-DIMENSIONAL!

As simple and straight forward as the article is; we've allowed our standards to drop to levels applied only for the mindless. Just look at some of the comments being made, nicely articulated grammer that adds as much value as a rats fart. Only in this country will a domestic flight be delayed by 5hrs and passengers would accept it like slaves of the system. While we struggle over who becomes president, countries like Namibia, Mozambique, Niger, C'Ivoire etc and etc are setting higher standards 4 themselves. It's sad that Femke can see beyond our shallow finger pointing despite being European and we can't

Bush man! You are the MEDIOCRE the writer wrote about, in case the write up was lost on you. Your type, with 'OGA AT THE TOP' mentality, may one day end up at the 'top' (of a tree, perhaps), and behave like that dullard. You have started to display similar tendencies already. I've had cause to test your 'INTELLIGENCE' on many occasions, and you came out sounding worse than 'Mr OGA AT THE TOP'. I concluded since then that your brain has been substituted with sawdust. Hence, my appellation for you, sawdust or sand-filled brain.

I often tell you that YOU DON'T KNOW ENOUGH. And SADLY, at this rate, you might end your life unsung! And I'm not hating or insulting, but you are the worst simpleton I have ever encountered. A dreg of society! You are always seeking to drag others down into the gutter with you, but no one seems to want to go there with you. Better try next time!

Exactly! How is this a 'master-piece'? Have we not heard social scientists like Claude Ake make this argument made before? And with more facility and analytical depth? To crown this article as a master-piece is to sink to the levels of mediocrity that the author bemoans. More importantly, the author missed the opportunity to pose deeper - more interesting - questions.

I have always maintained it-- being and living in the geographical space Nigeria, is a yoke.
Much as mediocrity permeate and pervades every spere of life, the few critical and would- be honest- ones have a hard task
of keeping insanity at abeyance. People of moral consciousness weep for Nigeria. The country has fallen into decay top to bottom and the only redemption we have is the yet unborn. I bleed.