Thursday, 17 May 2012
Balaam’s Ass By Pius Adesanmi
Pius Adesanmi
Columnist:
Pius Adesanmi And it came to pass that after the people of Sodom hath shaken off the yoke of the taskmasters who ruleth over them in the name of the great white Queen in the land of the permanent rain, a long line of pestilential kings took dominion over them and visiteth upon them worse plagues than God hath visited on the people of Egypt during the reign of the Pharaohs.
And for fifty-one years, the kings of Sodom and their children’s children sat on the back of the people of Sodom. And the new king Jona, who was of the tribe of the fishers of fish, seeing that the back of the people of Sodom was sweeter than honey, summoned all the other kings who hath ruled before him and saith unto them: “lo it has been given unto me to sit on the back of the people of Sodom and rule over them. But seeing that thou all hast been here before me, pray, what must I do to inherit more years on the back of the people?”
And all the former kings were greatly pleased that the new king hath sought their wisdom and given them room to retire on the back of the people of Sodom even as they approach the evening of their own years. And Badamasi the Minnarite opened his mouth and saith: “Oh king Jona of the tribe of the fishers of fish, great indeed is thy wisdom for it has been given unto thee to reward the years we spent before thee on the back of this people. It is meet therefore that we call a great feast of kings such as the world hath never seen. And from the land of Aethiopia through the one hundred and twenty-seven provinces of the kingdom of King Ahasuerus even unto India, all the people of the world shall speak of the great feast of the kings of the land of Sodom. And when we hath finished the feast, the time shall be appointed to grant unto thee more years on the throne of Sodom and to make thee a fisher of shekels.
And all the old kings present were greatly pleased with the words of Badamasi the Minnarite who spake for all of them. There was Aremus of the tribe of the merrymakers to the West unto whom it was given to rule the land of Sodom two times; there was Yak the warrior who was sorrowful that the land of Sodom hath a great problem of too little knowledge about how to use too much shekel; there was Shehulem the cattle rearer who saith yes unto every word uttered by his fellow kings; there was Shonekum, also of the tribe of the merrymakers, who sat only on one buttock on his seat near Shehulem the cattle rearer; and there was Buharus, also of the tribe of the cattle rearers, who hath begun to dislike the ways of the old kings but still fellowshipped with them. And the old kings rejoiced and saith with one voice unto King Jona: “give us a great feast on the back of the people of Sodom.”
And King Jona’s heart was gladdened by the disposition of the old kings even as there was great rejoicing among his palace servants. And king Jona summoned his servants who came into his presence doing obeisance. There was Orontolum the earth warrior who was also of the tribe of the fishers of fish; there was Reuben the scribe unto whom it was once given to grieve for the people of Sodom who are heavy laden; there was Renokrim, the lad who hath been brought into the palace by Orontolum to show the people the Emperor’s new clothes; and there was Ken the Ogonite who grew in the shadow of a saint.
And King Jona saith unto his faithful servants: “lo, I have summoned a great feast of all the old kings who sat on the back of the people of Sodom before me. Go ye now and bring forth musicians who play the horn, flute, zither, lyre, harp and all kinds of music. Bring forth the best robes and put it on my guests; and put rings on their hands and shoes on their feet; and bring hither the fatted calf and kill it; bring forth the best wine from the bridegroom’s storage in the land of Cana; and let us eat and drink and be merry. For it is appointed that after the great feast, the old kings shall grant unto me more years on the back of the people of Sodom and I shall add more food unto the portion of all my servants.”
And great indeed was the feast of the new king and the old kings on the back of the people of Sodom. And while he tasted the wine, King Jona commanded Orontolum, Reuben, Renokrim, and Ken to bring the golden and silver vessels so that he and his guests and their wives and their concubines might drink therefrom. And they drank wine and praised the gods of gold, and of silver, of brass, of iron, of wood, and of stone.
And it came to pass that even as King Jona and his servants and the old kings feasted and made merry, nights passed and mornings came but life got worse for the people of Sodom. And when a great famine and pestilence came upon the land, the people became agitated and cried up to the Lord: “give us another king.” But the Lord did not answer them. Whereupon the people sought counsel and saith: “for fifty-one years we asked of our kings bread but they gave us stones; for fifty-one years we asked of our kings fish but they gave us serpents. And now king Jona and his servants and all the old kings feast on our back even as great affliction is come upon us. It is meet therefore that we send for Balaam”.
And it came to pass that the people of Sodom sent messengers unto Balaam the son of Beor to Pethor, which is by the river of the land of the children of his people, to call him, saying, “Behold, for fifty-one years our kings have given us plagues worse than the afflictions of the land of Egypt. And today, King Jona and all the old kings make merry on our back. Come now therefore, we pray thee, and curse king Jona and all the old kings; for they are too mighty for us. Peradventure we shall prevail, that we may smite king Jona and his servants and the old kings, and that we may drive them out of the land; for it is written that he whom thou blessest is blessed, and he whom thou cursest is cursed.”
And Balaam went unto the Lord and saith: “the people of Sodom hath sent unto me, saying, Behold, our kings lay a heavy yoke upon us and they feast even as pestilence is come upon the land. Come now, curse me them; peradventure we shall be able to overcome them, and drive them out”. And God said unto Balaam, “thou shalt not go to Sodom; thou shalt not curse King Jona and the old Kings.” But Balaam rose in the morning, saddled his ass, and went in the direction of the land of Sodom.
And God's anger was kindled because he went. And the angel of the Lord stood in the way for an adversary against him. Now he was riding upon his ass, and his two servants were with him. And the ass saw the angel of the Lord standing in the way, and his sword drawn in his hand. And the ass turned aside out of the way, and went into the field. And Balaam smote the ass, to turn her into the way. But the angel of the Lord stood in a path of the vineyards, a wall being on this side, and a wall on that side. And when the ass saw the angel of the Lord, she thrust herself unto the wall, and crushed Balaam's foot against the wall. And he smote her again. And the angel of the Lord went further, and stood in a narrow place, where was no way to turn either to the right hand or to the left. And when the ass saw the angel of the Lord, she sat down under Balaam and Balaam's anger was kindled, and he smote the ass with a staff. And the Lord opened the mouth of the ass, and she said unto Balaam, “what have I done unto thee, that thou hast smitten me these three times?”
And Balaam said unto the ass, “because thou hast mocked me. I would there were a sword in mine hand, for now would I kill thee”. And the ass said unto Balaam, “am not I thine ass, upon which thou hast ridden ever since I was thine unto this day? Was I ever wont to do so unto thee?” And he said, “nay”. Then the Lord opened the eyes of Balaam, and he saw the angel of the Lord standing in the way, and his sword drawn in his hand: and he bowed down his head, and fell flat on his face.
And Balaam returned home and sent forth word to the people of Sodom, saying, “I shall not come to Sodom neither shall I curse king Jona and thine old kings”. And the people of Sodom were sorrowful and they lifted up their voices unto the Lord, saying, “save us from the bondage of king Jona and the old kings for our pain is great”. Whereupon an angel of the Lord appeared unto the people of Sodom and saith: “true the Lord has seen your affliction; true the Lord has seen the iniquities of king Jona and his servants, but he has not granted leave unto Balaam to come and curse king Jona and your other kings for you.” And the people wailed and saith unto the angel: “why would the lord keep us under the yoke of king Jona and the old kings? Why would the Lord not save us from the oppressor? Our torment is great.”
And the angel saith unto them: “lo, for fifty-one years the Lord hath given unto thee legs, hands, and voices to rise up against thine oppressors and say nay unto their ways; even Balaam’s ass, which is but an animal, knew not to ask the Lord or foreigners to free it from the yoke of the oppressor. Behold, Balaam’s ass knew the appointed moment to sit, move no more, and say no when the oppressor would ride it to certain death at the blade of my sword. Thus saith the Lord God of Israel to you people of Sodom: because Balaam’s ass, an animal, has been wiser than thee who art people, it shall be appointed unto no foreigner to curse king Jona and the old kings for thee. Only with thine own hands must thou tear their flesh and feed them to the birds of the air; only with thine own legs must thou rise and kick against them; only with thine own voices must thou say nay like Balaam’s ass. Thou must shake off the yoke of thine oppressors and curse them and their servants and their children’s children. For I am the Lord your God and I will not do for thee that which an ass did for itself. My rod and my staff shall not comfort them who willingly spread their backs for iniquitous kings. So let it be written, so let it be done.”
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Lovely
Submitted by Red Eagle (not verified) on December 18, 2011 - 18:47.
Keep waiting for balaam. While King Jona and Okonjeria the Agagite prepare to exchange the whips of the Aremus with scorpion. O Nigeria it seems the most high has given you a king in his anger, whose little finger is like the loin of all forme kings put together
Lovely
Submitted by Red Eagle (not verified) on December 18, 2011 - 18:46.
Keep waiting for balaam. While King Jona and Okonjeria the Agagite prepare to exchange the whips of the Aremus with scorpion. O Nigeria it seems the most high has given you a king in his anger, whose little finger is like the loin of all forme kings put together
Very Creative!
Submitted by Odoh (not verified) on December 18, 2011 - 18:22.
Payo, this is very, very creative. And the position is apt! Only Nigerians can do it themselves, not waiting for any other force. If we do not act, let's groan for ever silently.
FINALLY POPE PIUS HAS SEEN THRU M YASS
Submitted by KaparaK (not verified) on December 18, 2011 - 16:22.
While NdibeO was licking my ass & wacking his Cachebe under the spell of Heil Hitler, the headbanger of Aro mental unit, Pofesor Penkele Gurd Malam, who rules over his minion Big-K of CVS. I must give it to the ass- tuteness of the dokita of satire, wherein the Kogi dude revealed my ass philosophy, thusly: “lo, for 51 years the Lord gave you legs, hands, & voices to rise up against the oppressors & say NO; even my ass, which is an animal, knew not to ask the Lord or foreigners to free it from the yoke of the oppressor (Gerd’s tribe). Behold, my ass knew the appointed moment to sit, move no more, and say NO when the oppressor (Meuer’s kin) would ride it to certain death… because M Yass, has been wiser than thee who are human but not slaves to foreigner’s penkelemesi to curse the African kings for thee. Only with your own hands must you tear their flesh & feed them to the birds; with your legs and voices must you say NO as M Yass kick their ass” Ride on, PopeP.
GLOBALLY, AFRICANS ARE SEEN
Submitted by JIMMY IWEALA (not verified) on December 18, 2011 - 13:20.
GLOBALLY, AFRICANS ARE SEEN AS SEMI-HUMAN AND WE DO EVERYTHING TO CONFIRM THAT BEFORE THEM.
IT DOES NOT TAKE THE COUNSEL OF USA, BRITAIN, FRANCE OR CHINA TO DECIDE THE POLICIES THAT WILL MAKE AFRICA GREAT.
THAT POLICY MUST ORIGINATE FROM NIGERIA.
BUT WE KEEP TAKING COUNSEL FROM IMF, WORLD BANK ETC TO EFFECTIVELY RUN A VERY BACKWARD NATION. THEY ARE ALL HAPPY THAT WE PLAN TO JOIN THEM (THE RICH OF THE WORLD IN 2020)YET ARE NOT PREPARING FOR THAT. EMPTY BRAINS I MUST CONFESS.
A NATION THAT RUNS 25% CAPITAL EXPENDITURE BUDGET IN THIS CENTURY IS FLAT SENSELESS!
ALQAEDA REQRUITMENT
Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on December 18, 2011 - 10:20.
And I bet you were there when these Yoruba and Igbo Muslims were interviewed by the top Alqaeda CEOs. Your Islamophobia is on the brink of lunacy...
Apologies
Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on December 18, 2011 - 10:15.
Nigeria must apologise to the Igbos for waging a needless agression on their country just as Europeans, Americans and the world must apologise to the Nazis who were defeated in the WW2....
Luciferean mockery of the
Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on December 18, 2011 - 10:06.
Luciferean mockery of the Word of God...
KING JONAH(THAN?)
Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on December 18, 2011 - 10:03.
This is a masterpiece and to think the the same King is refered to as JONAH(THAN?)!!! WAOHHHH!
Have u ever been opportuned
Submitted by Aminu (not verified) on December 18, 2011 - 08:07.
Have u ever been opportuned to be in the mist of millions of fools and idiots. Nigeria is a perfect example mainly the dozzy youths. Deri shut up.
Genius
Submitted by Osa Okunbo (not verified) on December 18, 2011 - 05:21.
i love the parallel world you have created which is such an interesting story but yet makes sense to the NIgerian Citizen.
Absolute Genius.
SOUTH EAST WINS BOKO HARAM AWARD
Submitted by truth matters (not verified) on December 18, 2011 - 01:14.
It emerged at the weekend that recent activities of the dreaded militant Islamic organisation are geared towards securing a fresh license of the international terror group, Al-Qaeda, which is said to be seeking to relocate its operational headquarters in the Arabian Peninsula to Africa.
It also emerged that the dreaded group has successfully recruited coordinators for South-West and South-East operations.An indigene of Osun State whose name was given as Mallam Jawailu and another Abia State indigene named Mallam Samaila Njoku were recently recruited to coordinate activities of the group in the two zones
africa wake up
Submitted by panio (not verified) on December 18, 2011 - 00:49.
The U.S.-NATO-European military imperialist forces aim was not only to attack the ability of Africans to think independent ideologically.This was the same aim of the British, French, and U.S. intelligence agencies that paid reactionary elements in Ghana’s police and military to overthrow Kwame Nkrumah and the CPP government, which has the Ghanaian masses suffering today in poverty as a HIPC (Heavily Indebted Poor Country) in debt to European imperialism with European capitalists in control of 90% of Ghana’s oil and gold, thus placing the country under neo-colonialism. Sadly our misguided intellects in diaspora have been recruited to do same in Nigeria!
When will afrika wake up?
Submitted by panio (not verified) on December 18, 2011 - 00:48.
The U.S.-NATO-European military imperialist forces aim was not only to attack the ability of Africans to think independent ideologically.This was the same aim of the British, French, and U.S. intelligence agencies that paid reactionary elements in Ghana’s police and military to overthrow Kwame Nkrumah and the CPP government, which has the Ghanaian masses suffering today in poverty as a HIPC (Heavily Indebted Poor Country) in debt to European imperialism with European capitalists in control of 90% of Ghana’s oil and gold, thus placing the country under neo-colonialism. Sadly our misguided intellects in diaspora have been recruited to do same in Nigeria!
the unthinking african thinker versus Dame Jonathan
Submitted by jakovic (not verified) on December 18, 2011 - 00:41.
In order to instill independence of thought by creating an ideology that derived from African history and culture to bring about a socialist state, Kwame Nkrumah wrote a book, Consciencism, and Muammar Al Qathafi also wrote the Green Book for the same purposes to build a socialist state in Africa.
How many of the crooks were
Submitted by Deri (not verified) on December 18, 2011 - 00:24.
How many of the crooks were Buhari able to handle as a military dictator? Uba Ahmed vanished from prison under the watchful eyes of Buhari. Shagari was kept under house arrest. Late Fela and Alhaji Alhaji arrived Nigeria with banned foreign currencies. Alhaji the ex CBN Gov was freed. Fela went to jail. Pa Ajasin was freed by the courts twice. Twice did Buhari say no. Ambrose Ali was sent to jail because they said he stole. Found out he had only one empty land-when he died days after his release. Our Naira was devalued by prof Aluko through the promoting of the IMF and World bank. He forced Obj to prune down the value of the Naira-if we cannot be truthful to ourselves on boko haram, is it the fuel importers that we will be able to send to jail? Who gave Obj over 240m to denote to PDP after his release from prison? Was OBJ not aware of the oil thieves? And why was kensarowiwa hanged by Nigeria? Dont Turai GEJ again biko Mr. loud mouth. Your kogi our N delta!
Nigeria is 51yrs old and not 2 like East Temor
Submitted by Deri (not verified) on December 18, 2011 - 00:22.
How many of the crooks were Buhari able to handle as a military dictator? Uba Ahmed vanished from prison under the watchful eyes of Buhari. Shagari was kept under house arrest. Late Fela and Alhaji Alhaji arrived Nigeria with banned foreign currencies. Alhaji the ex CBN Gov was freed. Fela went to jail. Pa Ajasin was freed by the courts twice. Twice did Buhari say no. Ambrose Ali was sent to jail because they said he stole. Found out he had only one empty land-when he died days after his release. Our Naira was devalued by prof Aluko through the promoting of the IMF and World bank. He forced Obj to prune down the value of the Naira-if we cannot be truthful to ourselves on boko haram, is it the fuel importers that we will be able to send to jail? Who gave Obj over 240m to denote to PDP after his release from prison? Was OBJ not aware of the oil thieves? And why was kensarowiwa hanged by Nigeria? Dont Turai GEJ again biko Mr. loud mouth. Your kogi our N delta!
Except the Lord build the city......
Submitted by Curious1 (not verified) on December 17, 2011 - 21:52.
There is an appointed time when the yoke of the RIDER will be broken because of the ANOINTING. At that time both the HORSE and the RIDER will perish.
Before that ANOINTING comes no amount of demonstration, revolution can change things in Nigeria. For example the corruption demon in Nigerian can never be defeated by any method that has worked everywhere else !!
The HORSE are the rulers of Nigeria and the RIDER is Satan -the ruler of this world. satan is the one behind the scene pulling our leaders strings.
Isaiah 10:27 And it shall come to pass in that day, that his burden shall be taken away from off thy shoulder, and his yoke from off thy neck, and the yoke shall be destroyed because of the anointing.
This Prof Auko is a veritable mine of Info!
Submitted by FiReClOuD OfGoD (not verified) on December 17, 2011 - 21:39.
Prof Aluko is the kind of man that should be advising GEJ! Not all these unpatriotic IMF mercenaries!
"They started around 1981 to say that private people should build refineries. They said OK; we give you two shiploads of crude. You export and the profit you made, you use it to set up a refinery. They will collect the two shiploads, export them, make profit and disappear into thin air."
Are these the same OIL SUBSIDY CROOKS MENTIONED BY THE SENATE?
Who has the GUTS to confront them? Surely not Goodluck with his 'wimpy', 'squeeze the people to death', 'least resistance' approach!
Are you aware of the plan to reduce the world population to 500 million? Oil subsidy removal will surely do it for us:
http://vigilantcitizen.com/sinistersites/sinister-sites-the-georgia-guid...
Read more:
http://vigilantcitizen.com/sinistersites/sinister-sites-the-denver-inter...
We shall see how much more Nigerians can tolerate!
Re:@Odegua
Submitted by Omoaholo Imogirie (not verified) on December 17, 2011 - 21:28.
Odegua, may God bless you and direct you to the path of righteousness throughout your days on this planet earth. The Boko Haram will never come near you. They will stumble and fall because God has prepared a table before you. May God lift you up and never down. May you find favor before God and man. May the Esan people call you blessed. Thank you for your regards to my five boys and it seems you (Odegua) broke the battle of the sexes in your blessed family. Odegua in Esan means God has mixed the blessing by adding a boy or a girl in the compositions of the sexes. I love you. May, I know whether you are a male or female so that I may know how to address you next time. Please let us continue in our prayers for the musilms for God to open their eyes to the truth. May the musilms know that the battles are of God not of man. Vengeance is His not of man. Jihad is not peace, it is the weapon of the devil. Only Dogs bark & bite not man.
eyah!
Submitted by Fred (not verified) on December 17, 2011 - 21:07.
"For I am the Lord your God and I will not do for thee that which an ass did for itself. My rod and my staff shall not comfort them who willingly spread their backs for iniquitous kings. So let it be written, so let it be done.”
It sounds like the books of the old testament.
@ELMANGO MEAT I like what Prof Aluko has to say..
Submitted by FiReClOuD OfGoD (not verified) on December 17, 2011 - 20:52.
@ELMANGO MEAT I like what Prof Aluko has to say about the destroyers and GCON's and WXYZ award recipients of our country!
"Secondly, if they say that a cartel is making a lot of money from importing oil, it is that cartel that you will fight and not the common man who is not the cartel. The common man has no part in it. Now, you want to increase the price for the common people instead of facing the cartel you say are making money.
http://www.sunnewsonline.com/webpages/news/national/2011/dec/17/national...
How long will it take for Goodluck to confront his weaknesses and face the ORACLES of Nigeria?
We either have a country with some budget deficits or a DISASTER of AFRICAN proportions that you cannot even imagine. Nigeria (160 MILLION STRONG) is not LIBYA. THERE ARE FESTERING RELIGIOUS, CLASS AND TRIBAL WOUNDS WAITING TO BE EXCORIATED.
He has to make a choice and quickly too, as time is short.
We are in great trouble. But
Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on December 17, 2011 - 19:02.
We are in great trouble. But sometimes, I feel the matter looks like this: 'Did I not tell you not to sin against the lad? And now, here comes a recompense for his blood' I think Nigeria must have to apologise to the Ibos... This really looks like divine judment ooo.
well said
Submitted by Anonymous Comrade darlington (not verified) on December 17, 2011 - 18:14.
Prof, this one much.
Dont mind the yeye ogogoro man.
Whao !
Submitted by Ogbuefi (not verified) on December 17, 2011 - 18:12.
Those who have ears, let them hear !
It's been a long time manna last fell from heaven. Heaven helps those who help themselves. Make una sidon there until them go begin eat una flesh!! Dumbos !!!
Oshe gan jare, Prof.
Once More
Submitted by Igbiki (not verified) on December 17, 2011 - 16:29.
Once more you have shown the stuff you are made of. Thanks a million times Prof for making me laugh and think at the same time.
Prof u just crack me up all
Submitted by ronx! (not verified) on December 17, 2011 - 14:58.
Prof u just crack me up all the time! Badamasi the Minnarite,Aremus of the 'jaiye jaiyes'. But seriously speaking a very deep and profound satire. Some morons like Deri would not understand the deeper meaning but would rather start playing the ethnic and religious card.*Smh*
Great!!!
Submitted by max (not verified) on December 17, 2011 - 12:48.
this is yet another masterpiece from the indefagtigable prof Adesanmi.He who have brain let them read,mobilise and act on what the spirit is saying.
Great prof
Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on December 17, 2011 - 11:38.
Great piece there, Prof. ready more than ever
Goodluck said
Submitted by FiReClOuD OfGoD (not verified) on December 17, 2011 - 11:27.
GEJ"There is nobody who will want to deliberately inflict suffering on his people."
WHAT WILL 'SUBSIDY REMOVAL' DO?
"I know the pains Nigerians are passing through. Yes, I am here in the State House and being fed by government but that does not keep me so far from..."
What pain? HOW MANY YEARS HAVE YOU BEEN FED BY GOVERNMENT?
"There is no day that I don't interact with Nigerians, both low and high, and I appreciate the pains of the people. We are facing challenges but we.."
IS PART OF THE CHALLENGE THE INABILITY TO REFINE OUR OIL IN NIGERIA?
WHEN ARE YOU BRINGING THE CROOKS OF 'OIL SUBSIDY' TO ACCOUNATABILITY?
"If we don't have the courage to do so, then we will continue to be dying in pains until God knows when."
"So, my belief is that, at a particular time, people must be courageous to take the right decisions,"
YES THEY HAVE NO CHOICE, SOME DAY, THEY WILL!
