Saturday, 4 February 2012
Living On A Jet Plane
To be sung to the tune of John Denver’s “Leaving on a Jet Plane”
My fedoras packed, I’m ready to go
I’m standin here outside Aso
I love to wake you up to see convoy
But the dawn is breakin it’s early morn
The Gulfstream’s waitin tis all brand new
Already I’m so fullsome I could smile
So grumble and cry for you
Tell me that you’ll pray for change
Pray on like you’ll never up and act
Cos I’m livin’ on a jet plane
Don’t know why I’ll be back on land
Oh babe I love the life
There’s so many times I’ve let you down
So many times I’ve filled my till
I tell you now I’ll do it again
Every place I go sirens wake you
Every cent of yours I take for me
If I come back, I’ll bank my estacode
So grumble and cry for you
Tell me that you’ll pray for change
Pray on like you’ll never up and act
Cos I’m livin’ on a jet plane
Don’t know why I’ll be back on land
Oh babe I love the life
Now the time has come to loot you
One more time let me rob you
Close your eyes I’ll be on my way
Dream about the days to come
When I will have to say again
Y’all Naijans, suckers all of you
So grumble and cry for you
Tell me that you’ll pray for change
Pray on like you’ll never up and act
Cos I’m livin’ on a jet plane
Don’t know why I’ll be back on land
Oh babe I love the life
Cos I’m livin’ on a jet plane
Don’t know why I’ll be back on land
Oh babe I love the life
Nota Bene: Unfortunately I cannot play the guitar. Anyone so gifted is welcome to sing these lyrics to guitar accompaniment and distribute on youtube, Facebook, and places where we can reach the computer literate among our people as part of our collective struggle to sustain the build-up to a popular rebellion and generalized civil strife that must inevitably happen to free our people and the Nigerian state from the stranglehold of the satanic people currently holding all of us hostage in Abuja.
When I wrote “The Prodigal Son”, I was already fully convinced that President Goodluck Jonathan and all those around him who came up with that moronic 50th independence anniversary budget could not have been acting in the full exercise of their critical faculties. Little did I know at the time that the anniversary budget was the just the apéritif, preparatory to the entrée and the main course.
Our oppressed people are still grappling with the psychological consequences of the galling insensitivity displayed by the President and the National Assembly in the matter of their yeye independence anniversary. Yet, Dora Akunyili, smiling as ever, has announced that they are buying three brand new presidential jets that will set us back by USD 154.3 million. The jets are the entrée. We still don’t know what Chef Jonathan is preparing for the main course but if the apéritif and entrée are any indication, we need no octopus to tell us that the main course will be a disaster.
While Abuja was announcing the purchase of these aircrafts with two compass points of her mouth, the other two compass points (apologies to Wole Soyinka) were telling the world that Nigeria would have to borrow money from international sources to fund the 2011 presidential election in six months. The surprise is that the international community still takes this African joke of a state seriously and does business with her instead of isolating her in a crèche until she begins to show symptoms of responsible adult behaviour.
No one seems to be able to keep up with the spending pace of the drunken sailors in Abuja. Daniel Elombah of elombah.com has been performing an invaluable public service by occasionally putting the billions Akunyili reels out every week together in a format that we, the people, can consume without too much vertigo; Sonala Olumhense once attempted the impossible by mapping the unmonitored billions that the Executive Council of the Federation (Sonala calls the EXCOF a “contract bazaar”) had already poured into the vortex of lootable funds at the time Sonala was writing the said piece. Efforts such as Elombah’s and Sonala’s are of course Sisyphean. You come up with a figure today, Abuja responds with even more vertiginous billions tomorrow, and you have to start your calculations all over again just like our friend, Sisyphus.
In some chat rooms, I encountered sane and decent Nigerians openly praying for the new presidential planes to crash and take away with them a sizeable chunk of our oppressors who may be flying with the President; when sixty-two irresponsible senators flew to South Africa for a world cup jamboree, I encountered similar sentiments online – otherwise decent Nigerians praying for their plane to crash and reduce our national misery by sixty-two looters – and even wrote about it in my weekly column at NEXT.
Those chatroom Nigerians were basically asking Ogun – whose chthonic energies control the steel in the airplane – to ignore the floods of water at his disposal and bathe with the blood of our politicians. What shocked me was the sang-froid with which I read such invocations of the sinister upon members of the rulership by our people. I was shocked that I wasn’t screaming in horror as I contemplated such horrid and untoward propositions. I was shocked that rather than feel offended, I was mentally rationalising where those Nigerians were coming from. I was scared that part of me may even be subconsciously agreeing with those horrible invocations, in total contradistinction with my humanistic ethos. Just what has Abuja done to my sense of the human?
One thing that modernity has never been able to really do in Nigeria – and indeed in much of Africa – is erase the sacral authority of taboo. My friend, Harry Garuba, a Professor of Literature in Cape Town, says that “animist realism” is thriving in Nigeria. As an average Nigerian, you know you have those moments when you quietly suspend modernity, Westernization and all that jazz and allow Africa and her taboos to take over your business and resolve tricky issues in your life. If you are Yoruba, you know that you have moments when you “d’ogbon si” or you “te ndi”. For every “d’ogbon si”, there are “eewos” and taboos. Once your problem has been solved, you may wear your three-piece suit, carry your blackberry, and return to the modernity of Facebook to pretend that Africa and her mysteries are no longer part of your life. You may dismiss taboos as backward and superstitious but you are never really keen to be the one to test what happens when you breach them. The gratuitous invocation of the horror of a plane crash on your fellow man would qualify as a taboo in most cultures I know in Nigeria and in the places I’ve been to in the rest of Africa. It is a taboo that Nigerians, known for their endlessly elastic ability to endure, wouldn’t ordinarily breach. Yet, here were Nigerians in some chat rooms doing just that. When a depraved rulership dehumanizes its own people and pushes them into what Frantz Fanon calls “a zone of non-being”, a zone where respect for taboo is thrown to the dogs and that cultural sense of the sacral and the sublime in life is lost, such a rulership had better watch it. President Jonathan had better watch it.
Resource control needed
As long as we practice resource capture rather than resource control,money will continue to be wasted.If Abuja were funded by taxes,Nigerians would more likely act against a wasteful government,because they would feel the hurt in their pockets.When politicians know that Nigerians will move against them,if their money was misused,they would be more careful.
As long as the money is being taken from the minority Delta,the rest of us will just complain,rant and then move on.We wil not act because we,deep down,do not feel that they are stealing from us.As long as your ancestral lands,in your villages,are intact,you will not viscerally feel somebody is stealing from you.It would be different if Abuja were run by our taxes,believe me.No can be no representation without taxation.
Please check out my blog:http://henryik2009.wordpress.com.*Please leave a comment.
You got it Captain, that all
You got it Captain, that all we boast of is the Alpha Jet that is barely faster than the 737 Passenger Aircraft is a shame it is Criminal a country like Nigeria to think of buying more MIG 21 when the first crop of fighter pilots on this Type have all retired.SU25 should not even make our shopping list we should look at the SU30MKI or SU35, all the Jets in the PAF need is good timely maintenance those planes have low hours for God sake !!!!but like anything Nigerian the Maintenance system we have adopted is nothing to write home sadly
@ Anonymous: Very Low IQ,
@ Anonymous: Very Low IQ, puerility, poor upbringing, ....That´s what you demonstrate clearly in these words :
"else we will start thinking of.........."isolating her(you) in a crèche until she(you) begins to show symptoms of responsible adult behaviour."
Read BAMIKOLA´s post below! Then, maybe you´ll understand!
@Anonymous:First of all,learn
@Anonymous:First of all,learn to write my name properly! It shouldn´t be too hard to copy a name!! It´s Ramses Osiris! Not Osiri Ramsis, not Scourge. You´re a bit careless, ain´t you?
Secondly, if you have been following my comments on this forum, you would have obviously seen my suggestions and solutions. We need action!
So, I´ll just reiterate what I said last week to Pius verbatim:
"WHERE ARE THE SOLUTIONS??? I´m actually sick and tired of all these lamentations, no matter how eloquently put! We have become masters in the art of whining and moaning!!! Where are the solutions??
WE NEED ACTION! WE NEED MASS PROTEST! WE NEED AGITATION! WE NEED THE ABDULMUTALLABS TO DESTROY THOSE THAT ARE DESTROYING US! WE NEED OUTRAGE! "Not suffering and smiling", like Fela would say! ACTION, people, ACTION! Not symphonies about our maladies!"
We don´t have the time and luxury to waste on swimming endlessly in our cesspool. Let´s get out of it! And tell us how! Anyone who reads newspapers, hears radio and watches relevant programs on TV is pretty well-informed. And if not, you feel the brunt on the ground anyway! So, what we need is the way out, and not this masochistic, vicious cycle of "informative journalism"!
@osiri ramsis / scourge
what pius is doing is called informative journalism. Now you ve been informed,what is the way forward.Remember the parrot, he reports to you and it is left for you to decide what to do. Stop criticizing this guy cos you re not offering anything as well.what i expect from you is having been informed, what do you think else we will start thinking of.........."isolating her(you) in a crèche until she(you) begins to show symptoms of responsible adult behaviour.
Quote:- "The surprise is that
Quote:- "The surprise is that the international community still takes this African joke of a state seriously and does business with her instead of isolating her in a crèche until she begins to show symptoms of responsible adult behaviour.", author.
The point is that: "the international business community" would hardly breathe/ lose consciousness if they choose not to do business with those easily sold-out by their Leaders.
What Country is left in African that can afford:|USD $$:154.3 million$$ x 150.00.Naira= N: 23,250,000,000.00:Naira/ N:23.00.Billion Naira| for 3 "joly-ride" Pres Pleasure Planes manufactured by the G7 community?
Nigerian Goatskin thicker than Elephants
"Ngbati iya baje wa dada, ko'ni s'eni to'ma so fun wa ka'to ja lati gbara wa." To my non-Yoruba speakers, "when NGAs suffer enough, nobody will tell us b4 we realize that "god" will not come down to our rescue unless we revolt to take our country back." Heavens help those who help themselves.
When Obasanjo called the NASS’ allowances to be corrupt, NGA’s educated illiterate PhD pimps attacked OBJ instead of the Legislooters. Well, y'all don't have Obasanjo to kick around anymore - he's done his best. Let "Niggers" (I mean NGAs) Sidon and keep looking like goats. Even goats will eventually attack when cornered against the wall; therefore, our people must have thicker skin than Elephants.
Chei! Perhaps its cowardliness, whatever it is, it's painful to comprehend.
Presidential Fleet
Very very Funny while the Nigerian airforce is just post Korean/VIetnam war F7 or mordernized MIG 21, Equatorial Guniea is flying SU25s, Chad is Operating SU 25 and looking at MIG 29s, Ghana is modernizing it Airforce, We have no serious viable defense or figher Aircraft, Helicopter fleet is not at squadron strenght, this guys flying unviable aircrafts would be knocked down en-mass should they dare come up agaist any of our neighbours ( when last did yopu hear of a MIG21 design Air Victory, last was Vietnam against fighters of the vintage) . The Government is busy building up PAF fleet, Lets take a look at the presidential Advisers on aviation and what are their qualifications, what is there record in the industry,are they who they claim to be, Captains without flight experience or appropriate rating Pls Sahara reported pls find out and you would be suprised, We have had a "Captain" based on a family title that did head NAMA, even after he was dis-owned by the Colleges in UK as being a Fake, the end result was the scandal that hit NAMA's Safe tower project. Pls lets start probing into the people who give this wroung advises.
The main course is the anticipated US$4.47 billion loan!
Dr. Pee, nice article. The jets at US$154.3 million are the appetizers. The main course is the anticipated US$4.47 billion loan to fund imaginary projects! You and I know that at the end of the day the money will not go to refurbish and requip the schools and hospitals; maintenance of our roads or construction of new ones; etc.
Prodigality in Aso Rock
Aso Rocks' occupants are prone to suffer from Artificially Induced Delusion Syndrome (AIDS). This malaise tends to make the Nigeria leader begin to act and say things that are in total contrast to the realities of our economic backwardness as a people.
Nigerians from all indices are impoverished, even when Nigeria is not poor. Our leaders have prioritized frivolities as against life changing alternatives that can alter the destinies of her people.
President Goodluck E. Jonathan (GEJ) recent decision to purchase three more jets to add to an existing three in the presidential fleet, defies logic. In a world where the advanced economies are preaching fiscal discipline in view of another looming recession, this action is scandalous.
EDO STATE
PLS GOVERNOR ADAMS (BIG BROS) KINDLY TAKE NOTE OF THE TWO BRIDGES IN BETWEEN AVIELE AND AGBEDE SOON THEY WILL SINK AND THERE WILL BE NO ROAD FOR YOUR PEOPLE TO PASS AND ALSO MAY ALLAH GUIDE YOU FOR THE GOOD WORKS YOU ARE DOING FOR EDO STATE.LONG LIVE EDO STATE, LONG LIVE NIGERIA
My Thoughts
Dear Pius
I feel you, it has also crossed my mind that why cant God just remove one of the wings carrying these vagabonds in power on the way to their jamboree. I sometimes wish i can utter one of those fire on the mountain kind of prayer "Lord ground all my enemies into powder" it will save us and the nation a great deal, and we can always ascribe it to an Act of God. But i have to caution myself and pull myself off those lines of thought. As my subconscious and baba tells me to pray for my enemies and to love those who hate me. Well lets all hope they will repent one day, as GOd is not pleased in the death of a sinner!
Sometimes I wonder
Sometimes I wonder, what really is the problem, Is it Abuja - is there a ghost hunting our leaders in Aso Rock that seems to make all of them think out of their arses, or Is it the calibre of people we send there - are they all a bunch of good-for-nothing vagabonds, or Is the issue that those who are there were not sent in the first place. Can any good thing come out of Abuja? why are we a people like headless chickens. a bunch of sheep with a hireling shepherd willing to sell us out for a morsel of bread to the highest bidding fox.
The more I reflect on this issue, the more it becomes clearer that the solution is the grassroot, we allow a bunch of fools to hold our entire country to ransom. We allow these sinitors to silence our voice when they rig elections and send themselves. A solution is round the corner, the next election is fast approaching and we must take the bull by the horn once and for all. We must all stand up, vote and ensure our vote counts. A luta to all forms of oppression.
GO ON JONATHAN
JONATHAN WILL NEVER BE STOPPED BY BLACKMAIL NOR BY YORUBA WRITE UPS....THE PEOPLE WILL DECIDE BASED ON IMPROVING ELECTRICITY AND PEACE OF MIND SOON
Be prepared for Nigerian Rawlings
I would be sad for our looters to die in a plane crash and for any accidental death to spare them the pains and shame of a trial that will result into their imprisonment or even facing firing squad (for the big fishes such as IBB, OBJ & now GEJ). No, accidental death of our looters will be unfair and injustice to the impoverished Nigerians. Another set of looters will replace them and it is business as usual. Folks, what we should pray for therefore is the emergence of Nigerian "Rawlings". As I usually state, this is no longer a question of if but when. My prayer this holy day to the One above is to send our Rawlings quickly.
Last week, I admonished you
Last week, I admonished you to stop writing "symphonies about our maladies"! Idiomatically speaking! Because we need solutions! Today, YOU HAVE ACTUALLY WRITTEN LYRICS, NOT FOR THE OPPRESSED MASSES, BUT FOR THE LOOTERS IN OFFICE to cover a popular song! Incredible! Are you really conscious of what you´re doing?
Now, I can understand why the guy "SCOURGE" has been trailing you! Again, I ask: WHERE ARE YOUR SOLUTIONS? For God´s sake, your education must be good for something: THINK, ANALYSE, OFFER SOLUTIONS!! Or else, your titles (Dr.? Prof.?) are not worth a dime!
OFFER SOLUTIONS and stop wallowing in our putrid mess! We all know where it hurts! WHAT WE WANT IS REMEDY! NOT ENDLESS LAMENTATIONS OR ADULATORY SONGS FOR THE ROGUES IN POWER!! Let´s see, if you´ll be able to meet this challenge!
@ Deri: "So, if the same set
@ Deri: "So, if the same set of Nigerians who do not know where Aminu Kano and Tai Solarin were laid to rest, wish death to GEJ-the sane ones shld be ready to clap for them on FACEBOOK."
(No, I will not clap for any "awada keri keri" I will not clap just because everybody is clapping. If I give a "vendor" money and I say give me "Tribune' and he hands me "Punch". I will not take it just because everybody else is holding "Punch" or because "Punch" is more entertaining)
all friends and brothers on
all friends and brothers on this page, please dont fret, dont cry, dont waiver,dont die in anguish.simply relax as this is Gods way.we are at the final run of these armed looters.Jonathan is the last,because God will use him to hand over power to Buhari without a fight.trust me on this one,I have been told in a dream by the most high. on election day, please my people, wear your best christmas clothes,put on your best perfume, walk calmly to the polling boot, all singing and smiling and VOTE BUHARI FOR PRESIDENT and PRESTO, we will vanquish all these criminals,including Jonathans wife.
Same of the same
We are in for a bigger mesh. These selfish-wicked rulers have no plan for the poor Nigerian masses. But be it as it may, we have to take our destiny in our hands.We must be ready and willing to pay the ultimate price. Yes, the struggle for freedom is not a jamboree party. We must rise up as a people and say enough is enough and the time is now otherwise we will continue to complain and languish in abject poverty orchestrated by few greedy bafoons.
solutions.......not problems
prof sir, you are a good man. The problem with us is that we are business discussing about the problems. We need to stand and take action. Like DERI said, G.W Bush was stoned by an iraqi what have we done openly to this bastards that call themselves rulers. Let us discuss solutions.
Pius, Thanks. Goodluck
Pius,
Thanks. Goodluck Jonathan, the current president of Nigeria is a THIEF! Ole!
It is very disheartening that (some) Nigerians are praising him on Facebook. I sensed that these yeye Nigerians are developing Stockholm syndrome. Awon omo ale. Bastards.
We need A Bloody REVOLUTION in Nigeria.
Just as you were writing
Just as you were writing Prof, it is being reported that the excess crudeoil account has now reduced to US$460 million, from the several Billions in there some months back.
GEJ and his friends (govs) have been sharing it monthly without looking back, yet, many states have no money to pay salaries.
Remember that this excess crude oil a/c is not part of the monthly fed. allocation to states, and does not form part of the internally generated revenue of the states, and yet, many states still can't pay salaries to teachers etc. The excess crude account has depleted to this sorry level, because as it seems, funds accruing from the bench mark of about US$55.00/bbl of exported crudeoil has not been going into the excess crudeoil account in the recent past. Oil has been selling for over US$75.00/barrel throughout this year, and Nigeria sells over 2.6million barrels daily.
By all account, the excess crude oil a/c should be having Billions in it. It is being reported that the excess funds is being diverted to other account, hence has not been increasing and the a/c has depleted to US$460 million as of this week. govs are said to be pushing for the sharing of the remaining US$460 million immdeiately to enable them finance critical infrastructures in their states.Jona needs the support of govs and will agree to share to enable him secure their support for the PDP nominations for next years election. Its time to tell them no, Nigerians must rise now or we might wake up one day and there will be no country called Nigeria again.
Sad, simply sad. Indeed we
Sad, simply sad. Indeed we need the almighty to intervene in Nigeria and the people to stop their collective docility and speak up. Oh God send us more Tunde Bakares please.
SNC instead of election biko
I am not for GEJ to become the president of Nigeria. Owing to the fact that, it will slow down the struggle for political autonomy in the South South. IBB spent over 40b for an election that never was. Let us think for one moment, the amount of money stolen from our oil revenue since oil was discovered in GEJs village in 1957. Today INEC wants 0ver 80b for a voters register. Instead of , allowing us to first discuss our differences at a SNC. We are never able to keep tab on money spent on projects-every administration comes with its own figures on schemes that money has already been ear-marked or spent on-so those who wish GEJ dead in Uganda, should work to share their thoughts on how we can make the centre weak. By granting political autonomy to the 6 zones-then rotate the presidency among them every two years-if not the quacks and the hawks will continue to have their minds fixed on the color of GEJs under pants for the next 4 yrs.Sadly the vampires we have as governors, do not even know what they stand to gain for their ppl should they align with the forces working to enthrone economic justice in the South South.
pius,i personally want to
pius,i personally want to thank you for your contributions to the sruggle to free nigeria from the cabal that presently holds her down.your vicarious and patriotic sacrifices have empowered a lot of nigerians who read your essays in many ways.its only for people like you that one sometimes feels albeit reluctantly to still believe in that country. thank you and may the good lord continue to shower you with more knowledge.
The solution TO OUR PROBLEMS lies in SNC.
George Walker Bush, had an Iraqi throw a pair of worn out shoes at him. No qualms. Some leaders in Europe, whose brains could not find solution to the global economic crunch, had their heads pelted with eggs. No qualms. In Nigeria, we saw youths match in support of Abacha. No qualms. Here we are, in d 21st century, with Nigerians clamouring to shake hands with a murder suspect IBB. So, if the same set of Nigerians who do not know where Aminu Kano and Tai Solarin were laid to rest, wish death to GEJ-the sane ones shld be ready to clap for them on FACEBOOK. Its patriotism at its best. The alawada dancers who curse the oil wells that gave birth to Shell and GEJ in the creeks, hardly ever remember the date OBJ was tricked into buying second hand aircrafts-nobody has had d guts to question the leaders who stole the billions of dollars oil revenue used in building abuja-to them its fine-but not when a creek rat is in control of the affairs-of the nation-only then does it become a curse-they are hardly ever seen pushing for the hosting of a SNC-too scary for their empty football fields called states or zones.
Very nice composition.
Very nice composition. Jonathan should watch out!
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