Thy Neighbour’s Wife By Pius Adesanmi

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Pius Adesanmi

 “Senator! Senator! Senator!! You got a minute, Alhaji?”
 

“My friend, what’s your problem? Why are you disturbing me? Can’t you see I’m hurrying to catch a flight?”

 “Catch a flight? Senator, you don’t have to run away from Nigeria. We banned gay marriage, not pedophilia.”

 “Who is running away?”

 

“Didn’t you just say that you were hurrying to catch a flight sir?”
 

“And that means I’m running away? Nonsense. I’m only going to Egypt for a very urgent business.”
 

“Ah, ok, I get it. The last amariyah is now too old at fifteen years-old. You need another thirteen year-old?”

 “You are a stupid man. I am going there to marry an adult this time. At least 40-50 years old.”

 “Ah! An adult? Anyone in particular, Senator?”

 “No, I will look around when I get to Cairo.”
 

“I still don’t understand, Senator. Why the rush for an adult Egyptian wife?”
 

“You are a small boy. You don’t know anything. I am insuring my future in this country.”
 

“Your future?”
 

“Yes, it will be an insurance policy for my immediate future.”
 

“I still don’t understand this sudden foresight, Senator. Break it down for me like ABC.”

 “I can’t take chances with my future. What do I need to break down for you about that?”
 

“Senator, you are losing me again. Where does going off to marry in Egypt fit into all of this?”
 

“Like I said, you are a small boy. One must always think ahead in the chess game that is Nigeria.

A fair Egyptian lady is my insurance policy for the future.”
 

“I still don’t understand, Senator”

“That means you have not been following Oga’s curious interest in other men’s wives lately.”
 “Which Oga?”

 “How many Ogas do you have in Nigeria?”

 “Ah, Senator, you are misreading the situation o. That Oga is only interested in the dame who says we all have positive or negative AIDS o.”

 “You have a dirty mind. Who is talking about that kind of interest? I am saying that he uses other men’s wives for political gain or to recycle members of our stakeholders club. There is the George model and there is the Ikemba model. I want to position myself for both models in the future. You just never know…”
 

"Ah, Senator, I see what you are saying now. But, pray, what is the Ikemba model?”

 “Oho, so you think it is ordinary eye that a woman who is still mourning her illustrious husband along with millions of Nigerians is catapulted from Special Adviser to Ambassador, even if she didn’t even have the time to spend one day as Special Adviser? Don’t you think somebody somewhere is trying to cozy up to the East for political reasons via the wife of one of their greatest sons? Don't you think somebody somewhere is being an opportunist by making that appointment?”
 

“Ah, Senator! But how can this Ikemba model potentially apply to you?”

 “Well, somebody somewhere is ambitious about 2015. They will not consider any gamble too outrageous for tenure extension. They may think that by elevating the wife of the man who introduced sharia, the North will support tenure extension. When they are desperate, everything seems reasonable in their calculation. Imagine the political capital accruable to me if they make my wife Secretary to the Federal Government or Attorney General and Minister of Justice just to cozy up to the North!”

 “Senator! You are a wizard! What about the George model?”
 

“Well, if this Lamorde boy gets serious and reopens my Zamfara file, I may not survive it. I may do some time in Kirikiri. You know I have no immunity in the Senate. If that happens, somebody somewhere will rehabilitate me down the road through my fair Egyptian wife.”
 

“Oh, Senator, you are talking about Mrs. Roli George?

 “No, I am talking about Mrs. George Bush. Stupid boy!”
 

“But why the emphasis on fair complexion, Senator?”

 “What do Roli, Bianca, and Diezani have in common?”

 “Ah, I get it. But Senator, there are fair complexioned Fulani ladies you could marry. Why Egypt?”

 “Well, I have studied the complexion of the political appointments. The fairer the appointee, the heavier the appointment. Do women come fairer than Egyptian women?”

 “But, Senator…”
 

“My friend, don’t waste my time.  I have a plane to catch.”
 

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una just dey jealous say dem

una just dey jealous say dem be women. ride on yellow pawpaws!

Pius, I thought you were intelligent but not any more.

Pius Adesanmi picked a soft target for his comeback - a widow he knows cannot and will not respond to his hateful attack. It is only in Nigeria that every woman who has a job is accused of sleeping with her boss. It seems Pius is the one who is obsessed with other men's wives because if we are honest, Diezani has been a better minister than her male predessors. She is married to an illustrous Ibo son. Bianca is a lawyer and her father was a lawyer from a first class family in Iboland and more than qualified for her appointment but Pius wants her to sit at home for a year looking sad so he can have a reason to pay condolence visit. Why is there no mention of the daughters from prominent Yoruba families who are ministers in GEJ's administration or is it only the fair ibo ones that adesanmi can see? What about the fair Hausa ones? Pius, this attack is beneath you. It is a sad demotion of your intellect.

this is the way african think-instead of talking sex talk sense

The Editor of The Insight newspaper, Kwesi Pratt Jnr., is fuming over the appearance of the deposed Ivorian Leader, Laurent Gbagbo, at the International Criminal Court.He told Joy News the principles of justice and fairness demand that ex-US and British leaders, George Bush and Tony Blair respectively, must be hauled before the ICC to account for the millions of massacres they superintended whilst ruling their countries

@writer

Diezani is the least fair of the lot your mentioned. E be like say Dr Bad luck wants to 'borang' the Ikebe of the fairest one.

I am sorry for Mrs bad luck, instead for her to remove the finest off the list, she dey do photo modelling with photoshop as per na me fine like this.

Mr Bad luck wants to put the finest in a foreign country so that he can spend his weekends there. Who no like better thing.?

Traders were murdered in

Traders were murdered in Kaduna recently--although the igbos claim it was not their men who were killed-BY THE BOMB OF BOKO HARAM-we have a lazy unthinking thinker in Cananda, called Kogi Pius talking about the length of the vergina or kont of of a woman who was once married to ojukwu and the pennis of the husband, the late ojukwu. The other woman also married to another late igbo man--we are finished with this type of intellectuals in our midst-toto and prig proffessor

Good One

Pius, u are back again to our level. This is very refreshing. Pls carry go. By the way Govt of Canada dey look for you o in fredericton. Contests on the addition.

Thy Neighbour's Wife

Naughty Pius but very wonderful satire!!

HIATUS

Pius is back after a long hiatus. Carry go jare

Emeka Okafor which kain lie be this?

Emeka Okafor which kain lie be this? I no believe say one prophet marry 8 years old. Anyone wey do that kain thing no be prophet at all. I beg if the prophet don die sef me we try am osthumously.

pius with his dry sense of humour

As for me, I am for the Obama model. Which one is that supposed to be? Hitler Clinton ofcourse! OBj got Ngozi as minister through Atiku. Does it mean Atiku did a test drive before passing her over to OBJ? That GEJ got the daughter of Soyinka a job, as the woman in charge of Nigerians in diaspora means he must have slept with her in a hotel somewhere in Kogi state. Pure madness

very dry sense of humour

As for me, I am for the Obama model. Which one is that supposed to be? Hitler Clinton ofcourse! OBj got Ngozi as minister through Atiku. Does it mean Atiku did a test drive before passing her over to OBJ? That GEJ got the daughter of Soyinka a job, as the woman in charge of Nigerians in diaspora means he must have slept with her in a hotel somewhere in Kogi state. Pure madness

Very dry sense of humour

As for me, I am for the Obama model. Which one is that supposed to be? Hitler Clinton ofcourse! OBj got Ngozi as minister through Atiku. Does it mean Atiku did a test drive before passing her over to OBJ? That GEJ got the daughter of Soyinka a job, as the woman in charge of Nigerians in diaspora means he must have slept with her in a hotel somewhere in Kogi state. Pure madness!

recall Andy Uba

Interesting piece. We should not forget F9 parallel Andy Uba. Please Anambra recall this Taxi driver for Ojukwu

You are wrong Mr

Although it is on record that Aisha was 10 when she got married to the prophet, it has been a view contested by muslims for centuries. This is because there are pointers which lead to the conclusion that Aisha was older at the time she got married to the prophet eg: She was one of the earliest converts which shows that she was at a decision making age before she married the prophet. Please view this link http://www.islamicity.com/articles/articles.asp?ref=ic0811-3718

Thanks.

Where Is The Minimum Wage, Jonathan?

Jonathan WILL vie for president come 2015 but he keeps lying to himself that would not. I am happy some people are not fooled.

Make una comot eye from other people’s wife for Abuja-o! The soul that sinneth shall die-o!

rig2015electionyoudie@rocketmail.com

Prophet mohammad was also a paedophile

There is no new thing here as it is on record that mohammed was a known paedophile. Islam religion not only supports but also encourages paedophile. While this is a major (criminal) offence in the west, Islamic religion does not see anything wrong in this. Pius, just leave Senator alone, his next marriage might be to a 10 years old child, afterall his prophet married 8 years old child

Why Are You Southern Nigerians In Awe?

Anything goes in the North. Nothing amazes me in what is taking place in an arid land call What? Nigeria! The moment that the British handed power to these people from the North who are not ready for the country to gain freedom from slavery I knew we are all doomed. Some times I begin to questioned the brains of our people from the south how they themselves view things. They all allowed to be deceived by the British to be second class citizen of their God given lands. Musilms always accuse Christians for their own mistakes. The British did not put islam down and elevated Christians but still they find fault. If the British beaqueated the country to the Christians then they have axes to grind but it was handed over to islam less educated people and yet we are all living in hell. Does it amazed you Ex-convicts are senator? Those people in senate are all criminals.

y abuse the one who has not offended you?

Y could you judge a religion by the act of one person? if sb commits an atrocity and happens to be muslim, does not mean that islam supports that. Women are real virtues according to islamic dictates. Is it right to abuse a prophet of God just because sb who claims to follow him set ablaze his followers in his house of worship? You that the self acclaimed man of God is still in prison.

Mallam Pius Adesanmi, This is

Mallam Pius Adesanmi,
This is disgusting. Noble Igbo women are becoming political foot ball for the enemy. Igbo haters and commentators never say anything about Turai, Mojishola, Gbemishola, Hajiya Waziri, Iyabo, Princes Bankole and a whole host of the harem. Why poke fun at grieving woman showing the world that you are already dancing at the grave side of Ikemba? We hear you, aboki. Unto Thee is given the freedom of the pen. Write on, aboki.

This is a brilliant satire,

This is a brilliant satire, more grease to your elbow

Old Boy See you tomorrow

As you dey write this, I hope say you remember say we dey come your side tomorrow. This one no be surprise.

Anyway, I saw you last hurtling Remi Mar...I reserved one kola nut as per your request.

As for the Senator, he is lucky Baba no dey again, Baba for help him Egyptian wife fix her gele, and from there she will be posted to Shina.

hmnnnnnnnn, Omo nla;........

Oti po jujujuju.... u are too much.
I dey always gbadun u.
Baba God Nigeria dey for ur hand oooooo.

The Northerners Are Pimping Egyptian Minor Girls Wonder Never ..

Now we know the minds of the northern musilms. They are engaging in sex slaves business. These musilm politicians are also using these minors to advance their political careers. These innocent minor girls are being used for sexual gratifications for these old cargos. Why is it that islam does not protect women and minor girls. Women are considered properities to men. Why do Nigerians have jungle fever? So the Arab Fulani is no more attractive to the Hausa man? With all the women using bleaching cream in Nigeria to make them look like Oyigbo that did not surfice? No wonder General Abacha died having sex with Indian prostitutes. Musilms can sell Nigeria for Toto or Pussy. Rag Heads like their prophet muhammad.

The Northerners Are Pimping Egyptian Minor Girls Wonder Never ..

Now we know the minds of the northern musilms. They are engaging in sex slaves business. These musilm politicians are also using these minors to advance their political careers. These innocent minor girls are being used for sexual gratifications for these old cargos. Why is it that islam does not protect women and minor girls. Women are considered properities to men. Why do Nigerians have jungle fever? So the Arab Fulani is no more attractive to the Hausa man? With all the women using bleaching cream in Nigeria to make them look like Oyigbo that did not surfice? No wonder General Abacha died having sex with Indian prostitutes. Musilms can sell Nigeria for Toto or Pussy. Rag Heads like their prophet muhammad.

A brilliant piece

Ojogbon Pius,
This is funny and sad. Yes, the whole political landscape in Nigeria is characterized by cold calculation and crass opportunism. Sadly, Nigerian politicians actually reason the way you have depicted them here. It is as if we run a government of the drunk for the dumb, or the governmen of the wily for the wild. We are led by those bound to violence, graft,and funny games. How can politicians be so crude in their thinking and wicked in their ways? How can we as a people allow that to happen for so long? That Yerima is in the Senate is a charade. Even if they had rigged him in, the people of Zamfara should have protested and get him out. He is a great disgrace to the people of Zamfara and to all Nigerians. He certainly belongs in the most gruesome gulag especially built for pedophiles, not the Nigerian Senate.

funny piece,,,good thou

thanks for your humunity and for letting us starting the weekend with laughter...faice country xxx

Soon goats will be minister !!

Hilarious !!!
More ink to your pen !

Goats in human skin are already ministers !!
Soon it will be real goats !!

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