“I’ve Never Had A Wedding Day Dream In My Life.”- Funmi Iyanda

During an exclusive interview on SaharaTV, Nigeria’s foremost female media personality and award-winning broadcaster, Funmi Iyanda revealed that she is quite different from women and girls around the world.

“I’ve never had a wedding day dream in my life,” Iyanda told SaharaTV’s Adeola Fayehun. 

While millions of girls and women have already imagined their own elaborate wedding day ceremonies, schemed and sketched designs for a one-of-a-kind wedding gown and even compiled music playlists for the wedding reception festivities, Iyanda simply said: “I never thought to be married.”

“Part of the reason why I’m not married is because I haven’t found a person I can trust with my most vulnerable self,” she said.

The “vulnerable self” of Ms. Funmi Iyanda is open to interpretation, but the statuesque, charismatic media icon made it clear that she values the institution of marriage and welcomes companionship.

Iyanda, raised mainly by her father, --who taught her that her gender should not stop her from achieving whatever she wanted to-- says she defines herself first, as a person, not as a woman.

She understands the demands and pressures of women who work in the media sector and are constantly thrusted in the public eye. Her status as a single mother living in Nigeria may certainly compound the pressure. 

“Nigeria, more than anywhere else, deeply frowns on the issue of single motherhood,” Iyanda said. 

She explained that the father of her daughter plays a role in the life of her daughter. 

But being a single mother has yet to slow her down. 

As a well-respected figure in Nigeria’s media industry, Iyanda wears several hats as a producer, presenter, journalist, CEO of Ignite Media and activist.

Iyanda recently returned from Mount Kilimanjaro in Tanzania where she joined almost three dozen African women (with the likes of South African actress Rosie Motene and Congolese singer Barbara Kanam) for a 5-day hike on Africa’s tallest mountain. The symbolic trek, purposed to advocate the ceasing of violence against women, coincided with March 8 International Women’s Day, 

At the end of the journey, Iyanda tweeted that she “almost died.”

“…most life altering experience of my life. still struggling 2 assimilate all. I can't walk and my fingers r still frozen so each word hurts.”

“…just came off the mountain. 5 days of hiking/climbing 10 hours a day thru rain forest, savanna, tundra den arctic regions, no bath” 

But, women empowerment is not the only issue that Iyanda is ready to advocate. The self-described “product of Nigeria’s military era,” stood alongside fellow Nigerians at the anti-fuel subsidy removal protests in January. 

“What was going on then was completely unacceptable…aside from the fact that Nigeria is a fragile economy there’s nowhere, nowhere in the world where you… would try to implement an economic policy that would mean a 117 percent or thereabout increment... It doesn’t work, you don’t do that…it’s a bit inhumane,” Iyanda told SaharaTV’s Adeola Fayehun.  

Iyanda said that the Occupy Nigeria movement is a “pre-revolution,” an “awakening of the people.”  

“Don’t go by what you see on Twitter alone,” she said. “If you get into a bus or a taxi in Nigeria now, they are discussing with you the infinite details, you know, of the budget, of political decisions, of policies that are being taken. People are taking more interest in how Nigeria is being run. I think it’s good. This is how democracy supposed to be practiced. It’s good for the leaders, too, because it makes them more conscious of the decisions that they take. I think if we had been doing this all through the time that we were experiencing the dictatorship and military government we would have gone a lot farther than where we are now,” she said.

So, where will activism and media lead Ms. Funmi Iyanda in the future? The possibilities are many, but for Iyanda, making a difference is all it takes.

"I would not have gone into the media if I didn't think that what I did could make a difference in our social landscape." Funmi Iyanda

Stay updated with SaharaTV: visit www.saharatvonline.com

 

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FUNMI, GO AND MARRY!

FUNMI, YOU ARE GETTING OLDER. YOU ARE NOT A MAN, BUT A REAL GOOD LOOKING WOMAN. BECAUSE YOU WERE BROUGHT UP BY YOUR FATHER IS NO EXCUSE. LOOK FUNMI, THE LONGER IT TAKES TO SETTLE DOWN WITH A MAN, THE MORE DIFFICULT IT WOULD BE FOR YOU TO BE MARRIED.

AS YOU GET EVEN OLDER,YOU WILL KNOW THAT YOU HAVE MADE SILLY MISTAKES ON YOUR STUPID CONCEPT OF "MY MOST VULNERABLE SELF AND I NEVER THOUGHT TO BE MARRIED". STOP BEING IGNORANT, GO AND MARRY QUICKLY BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE. YOU WILL BE VERY LONELY AT YOUR OLD AGE WHEN YOUR DAUGHTER HAS GONE TO MAKE HER OWN FAMILY. GOOD LUCK TO YOU.

This is what one Nigerian

This is what one Nigerian husband, a police inspector, did to his wife.

http://www.nigeriadailynews.com/latest-additions/32045-lagos-state-polic...

@Bonafide Here is the summary

@Bonafide
Here is the summary of your useless 20-page dissertation: “If you are not happy with the "spread of the evil lifestyle of whitemen" (but you are using the internet. And I guess you have 2 blackberries), go and spread your own lifestyle.”

Because the whiteman loves homosexual marriage, we should copy and follow in the footsteps of the whiteman. I have news for you: the whiteman also loves steady supply of electricity. He also loves peace and order in his community. He loves to sleep with his own daughters and mother. He loves to use religion to divide and conquer your ignorant head.

You see, because whiteman invented having sex with dogs, we must copy that behavior or leave his Internet and electricity alone. Because he loves to have sex with himself and with other men, we must copy that too or we are not qualified to come to the web.

Watch your master and a real African woman:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/mar/19/nobel-peace-prize-law-homose...

Lady X: you and your husband

Lady X: you and your husband have the sole responsibility of making sure no woman or man take you away from each other. Or is he a kid that can be tricked away with a candy? Stop insulting men by implying that they have no mind because some do. Some of us married women... Only one person entered an agreememnt with you. Your husband! This is another way we give iresponsible men passes at the expense of the sometimes innocent woman who at times did not even know you existed.

Funmi, well if you choose to

Funmi, well if you choose to live that life good for you. But please leave peoples husbands alone. Dont come here painting some holier than thou picture. As rightly commented earlier, your daughter is watching you.

@Adeyemi

You are so crude... Do you know her life history? Don't you know that your childhood can easily control your adult years? Why not go back to school than abuse Funmi Iyanda? She has been through a lot in her life. Marriage may not bring her the type of happiness that she wants. She is a perfectionist.

Being ignorant should not be a problem in your life forever. Don't you know that being single could be a choice but not a permanent one? I am ashamed of Nigerians who 'blow' poo in open spaces like this... Shioor!

6 of 6

Please go and read real book so that you fit sabi small, okay dear? Internet don give every pesin a platform to spill bile about their elders from one corner of the mouth, promote culture from the other, and sound ignorant from every corner. Kai! God dey! You know nothing about culture, and you dey pretend to be a culture ambassador. Kai! Dis culture don suffer o! I really do hope you learn to use your brain cells more for the benefit of Nigeria and the global world that you’ve chosen to associate with.

If you are not happy with the "spread of the evil lifestyle of whitemen" (but you are using the internet. And I guess you have 2 blackberries), go and spread your own lifestyle. Just don't adopt Boko Haram's by-fire-by-thunder style.

5 of 6

3) So you think it’s okay to sleep with a woman to see if she’s a virgin before marrying her? Well, who does the testing? A virgin man? If not, should his subsequent virgin wife test him too? You know abstinence is for both men and women, don’t you? You homosexuality analogy exposes your lack of ability to THINK, I am sorry. No parallel whatsoever! Beside, homosexuality has been a part of every society, including, I hate to break it to you, Nigerian culture before we knoew what London is. Please READ! So your London analogy dey confuse me. Abi wetin consain gorimapa with relaxer?
4) Nothing wrong with widows now in most parts of country, at least not openly, because retrogressive aspects of our tradition were made away with. READ! It will benefit you, believe me. You can not get all your knowledge from the internet. It is dangerous. Say no to Brain Drain. Exercise your brain cells by THINKING. E no go cause you headache.

4 of (5 or 6)

2) You couldn’t have been vacationing under a rock at some point, I am sure. Or how else could you have missed the whole news about VVF when it broke? O wait… they did not mention Funmi Iyanda’s single motherhood then. READ AND LEARN! Forget VVF, you really have never heard of ancient Nigerian traditions where girls too young to know their left from their right were married away to the highest bidder? READ AND LEARN. It will benefit you and those who read your posts. Your so celebrated polygamy was the major culprit. Preyed on young girls, who became slave-wives not just to their husbands, but to their senior wives the minute they became old cargo in their husband’s eyes. READ dear. READ. The Nigerian child must READ and THINK!

3 of (4 or 5)

1) Indeed, the Bible and Quran, of the two predominant adopted religions, do not frown on polygamy. When humans knew better, they did better: they went about clothed; knowing the ills of polygny, humans frowned upon it over time. I can talk about the ills of polygyny, but why not ask someone who was forced into it and the children produced in such? Most polygamous men (aka, <100% husband and fathers) have the “law” to okay their philandering ways, and leave the children that come out of these relationships vindictive, angry and just messed up. Polygamy, like polyandry (one woman many husbands –practiced by the Irigwe people of the North) brought no good to the society. No one is protesting to have polyandry revived and promoted, is there?

2 of (4 or 5)

Your point is not “the point”. It is yours. The point is that you have a right to your opinion and choices, but no right to impose it on others. You have a right to your ignorance, but you have no right to expect no one to question you in a civil society when you abuse that right and take your ignorance out of the confines of your head into the public domain.
Why are you pretending as if you skipped some history/social studies classes? I hope you were not busy putting your nose into other people’s businesses. You can’t go around assigning grades (pass or fail) without doing your research, child. To teach no be wayo.
If you are an advocate of “cultural rituals and norms” like, polygamy, there is no point trying to educate you. In the event that someone else is open to learning:

1 of (4 or 5)

Where shall I start with Timya… Let us clarify one thing, she will not move because of you, and she will not change her views “because of you”. So if you want to remove every strand of hair on your head, you must start today o.
You and your ilks don’t think men have any responsibility in the failure of marriages. Abi una no read St. Adeyemi saying someone prevented a father from being in his life child. Who can prevent a responsible father from being in his child’s life? Besides, where did he get that from? Surely not the interview. He cares so much about the child, but is here spilling his bile, without conducting any research or doing his due diligence about her mother because he can. Ah ah! We don’t know anything about his life now! So he can turn saint on top internet dey pass judgment go. Carry go jare! Nothing do you.

I LIKE YOUR STYLE, LETS TALK.

Funmi Iyanda:
Great interview with supa dupa responses.
Now on to personal issues. "Part of the reason why I’m not married is because I haven’t found a person I can trust with my most vulnerable self.”
Funmi, you have a child I guess from a past relationship. How did you get pregnant back then, was it through artificial insemination?
I have two boys and 'am available. Beep me up.
Jah Bless!

SR, PLEASE PROVIDE ADEOLA FAYEHUN SOME TRAINING

SR, many of us appreciate the efforts you make to provide us with valuable news, etc. However, the quality of your programs is easily diminished by the very poor elocution skills of such presenters as Ms Adeola Fayehun. No doubt, she is a lovely young woman, but her spoken English is very poor. Unfortunately, English remains, for now, the only medium of communication between SR & its teeming public. Consequently, Adeola as a presenter, requires some training both in spoken English, elocution generally, including interviewing skills. Her interview with Funmi Iyanda really throws up a very serious English language deficiency in her for someone in the Media. Train her and she will do well. No offence intended.

YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF, FUNMI

Funmi, you should hide your head in shame. However, Nigeria being the dysfunctional country it has turned out to be - where people like you with twisted ideas are celebrated, I know that asking you to hide your head in shame is timewasting. You trumpet the wonderful things you gained from your father in a stable man-woman family - things that have made you what you are today, yet you shamelessly deny your child the same wonderful benefits. If your mother had chosen to insist on the sort of conditions you give before marrying, she wouldn't have married & you'd certainly not be born. You did not remember those conditions before opening your legs to have that poor baby who now has to suffer your selfishness.You know that we know there is something wrong with you that you are not telling.

FUNMI, YOU ARE FOOLISH & SELFISH

Funmi, you should hide your head in shame. However, Nigeria being the dysfunctional country it has turned out to be - where people like you with twisted ideas are celebrated, I know that asking you to hide your head in shame is timewasting. You trumpet the wonderful things you gained from your father in a stable man-woman family - things that have made you what you are today, yet you shamelessly deny your child the same wonderful benefits. If your mother had chosen to insist on the sort of conditions you give before marrying, she wouldn't have married & you'd certainly not be born. You did not remember those conditions before opening your legs to have that poor baby who now has to suffer your selfishness.You know that we know there is something wrong with you that you are not telling.

@Bonafide That was a good

@Bonafide

That was a good try, but you failed woefully!

1) okays polygamy?

Nothing is wrong with polygamy. Africans practiced polygamy before your white masters brought their satanic religion into African cultures.

2) okays child rape

No culture in Africa practices child rape. Stop breading lies.

3) what about the part of our culture where a woman's virginity is tested before marriage?

This is called marriage ritual. If you do not like it, move to London and become a homosexual.

4) shall we move on to widows and their plights?

Nothing wrong with widows.

The point is that this lady here is not out there fighting for the list above. She is busy spreading the evil lifestyles of the whiteman. America contains a lot of single parents, but go and see the effects of children of those single parents. If Funmi does like her cultural rituals and norms, she can move to London and become a lesbian.

Funmi Innovation Iyanda

I have always had a high opinion of Funmi Iyanda, I never missed her Morning Show anytime am in Lagos those days!!! One very obvious thing I always notice is that she is constantly improving not just the appearance of the studio but herself, the audience and the quality of interviews. That to me was a source of energy to achieve whatever I want. So whatever anyone calls my dear Funmi Iyanda that sweet memory of an energetic and innovative woman will always remain with me.
I wonder why Sahara Reporter will use the marriage stuff as the headline instead of her numerous and recent conquest Mount Kilimanjaro. Ride on babe Mount Kilimanjaro is just the beginning of your limit God willing.

Tamya! Let's not be

Tamya! Let's not be economical with the truth or speak it only when or where it suits us. "This is where she loses my sympathy. You cannot ignore the culture that gave you birth and nurture while pretending to save the same culture." Should we continue uphold the aspects of our culture that:
1) okays polygamy?
2) okays child rape - you know the one were a king can "cayy leg put on top" a child girl? You seem very conversant with our culture, so you must know.
3) what about the part of our culture where a woman's virginity is tested before marriage?
4) shall we move on to widows and their plights?

We can not pick and choose the part of our culture that we want to uphold.

Interviewer is terrible

This interviewer is so terrible and she hasn't done her homework at all.. What a terrible interviewer, so boring and no lack of initiative, thinking under the feet and so crude in her questions. She need to be groomed!

Emancipated women!

Hahahah, I know most of the emancipated women doesn't need a man but in a way looking for a donor (just make love and wait for the miracle). Funmi might be one of the example.

I know a lady who told me she would prefer to remain single, but she didn't mind to go to bed with her date. Even she was dating 2 guys - one in Africa and the other in EU.

I'm watching to see if her ego will ever allow her to dream of wedding day. The said lady is even pregnant now.

HEY LADY, THIS IS NOT A GOOD ATTENTION SEEKING STRATEGY

OK, YOU ARE A HAPPY SINGLE PARENT AND PROUD OF IT. GOOD FOR YOU AND DO WHATEVER FLOATS YOUR BOAT . COMPLAINING ABOUT ALMOST DYING WHILE HIKING ISYOUR ISSUE AND ONLY GOD KNOWS WHAT ISSUES YOU ARE TRYING TO RESOLVE WITHIN YOURSELF. BUT, DONT DRAG US WITH YOU . I AM YET TO FIGURE OUT THE THE PURPOSE OF THIS INTERVIEW, AND NEITHER DO I CARE TO KNOW. SR, IN FUTURE , WE WIL APPRECIATE REVEWING AN INTELLECTUAL ARTICLES OR VIDEOS. THIS WAS A TOTAL WASTE OF SPACE . DR DAMAGE'S VIDEO WOULD HAVE SERVED A BETTER PURPOSE. AT LEAST IT IS ENTERTAINING AND EDUCATIONAL.

Of course, nobody should tell

Of course, nobody should tell this woman how to live her life. She knows what she wants and how to live her life.

But then she wants to change Nigeria into her self-created image. This is where she loses my sympathy. You cannot ignore the culture that gave you birth and nurture while pretending to save the same culture. If her culture is irrelevant to her why save the same culture??? Why fight for that which you detest? Why live in a culture you pretend to hate?

Wrong Motive

Yes, you never had a wedding day dream in your life. Please Funmi, try also to never play games around with untrustworthy men in your life.

On Funmi Iyanda, the single mother

women whose faces and figures are the primary element of their identity and self-esteem behaves with a particular desperation when the ageing process begins. Funmi you will soon learn the hard way when you begin to get old, no man will touch you or move near you

Life is a choice. Those who

Life is a choice. Those who choose marriage ought to be determined not to kiss any frog that comes their ways and stop measuring themselves according to other's/societal standards. The same societal standard that victimizes rape victims who speak up. The very same society that victimizes an abused woman who dares to get out of the abusive situation, but yet calls her sister fools for staying until her "husband" sent her to an untimely grave. I mean the very same society that fails to condemn a promiscuous man who thinks it is his God-given right to sleep around. Is this the standard we are holding ourselves up to? Little wonder Nigeria in the state it is in.

Some people see the world

Some people see the world though their own narrow prisms, and woe betide anyone who fails to see the world as they do. There are, indeed people who are not cut out for marriage, and the sooner they accepted it, the fewer broken homes, messed up children and jilted spouses we'll have. Some hypocrites in marriage sleep around as if their life depends on it, and those who are not are married but alone/lonely. What we need is good examples of marriages so that those who want to get married can see something good to aspire to, and living others to live the life they've chosen as long as it does not cost us anything. In this day and age, it’s not hip being a good, loving family man, so many of the good men compromise themselves to follow the crowd, making marriages hellish for many sisters. And many sisters have been harassed into running with the first frog that came their way, making excuses for his sliminess.

@Gen Rommel and co.: Who are

@Gen Rommel and co.: Who are you to tell her, or anyone outside of your immediate family, whether or not she should have a child? Have you taken care of all of your own children? Have you ever had sex with anyone outside of wedlock? Who exactly are you to criticize someone else for doing the same? Where were you when some men, and women at times, abandoned their homes and children in pursuit of other affairs? Where were you when men were beating their wives to death? Where were you when men got women pregnant and abandoned them? Where were you when fathers impregnated maids, and mothers got pregnant by drives –all while they were in the sacred “institution of marriage”? Shall I ask where you were when men raped their daughters? Stop being a bloody hypocrite and face your life, would you?

Funmi did not say that she is

Funmi did not say that she is not open to marriage. Can people read. It's disheartening that SR is going down this road of sensationalizing stories to appeal to the majority. As much as I despise NOI's policies, I felt the same way when I read the story about how she was not nominated. Was an American president expected to nominate a nonAmerican? Who better to have the best interest of America at heart. The values of SR that drew a lot of us to SR is being hijacked, and something must be done. You have to refocus! But I digress…

This title doesn't quite match the content of the interview. Even if she did say she does not want to get married: ...

The word ‘choice’ means many

The word ‘choice’ means many things to many people. However, one common denominator is when you choose to do something you must let go some alternatives – you choose from many alternatives. You choose because there are choices.

Nobody should tell this woman what to choose and what to ignore. The society should not tell her what to choose and what to left behind. She has the right to invent her own norms, morals, laws, and culture. This is the only way to happiness because you say so or because you emulate other people?

Americans have more freedoms and more choices, but they are presently extremely unhappy. Do you know why? Do you even know this fact? Go read “My American Unhappiness”.