The schools are out and quite a few Nigerians in the Diaspora would be heading home to Nigeria for the summer. Before you head out to the airports, a picture of today’s Nigeria might help:
Contrary to re-Branded news, Nigeria (particularly south of the Niger) is fast becoming the wild, wild, West. A veritable Dodge City. Sheriff Okiro and his men lost out a long time ago. In control these days are intimidating packs of young men doing their thing. Ordinary folks have been left to fend for themselves – security-wise.
The politicians – from Yar’Adua down to your local Councillor are completely fixated on 2011. Governance has long been reduced to politicking – divisional scheming, oath taking, etc, etc. Almost all the elected politicians have evacuated their aged parents to rented flats and houses in Abuja where they are ensconced. You already know their children are school mates of some of your own kids abroad.
Nigeria is not what it was just a few years ago. Some of these active cowboys and area fathers love nothing better than to kidnap another human being for settlement (or ransom, if you want to be picky). This is a bastard fallout of the legitimate agitation in the Niger Delta. Depressingly, in some areas, ransom has plummeted to about N20,000 per soul.
These cowboys hunt in packs. Their weapons can be sophisticated, primitive and/or home made – depending on their place and length of service on the terror pole. In some places, they first call at the nearest Police Station and thoroughly sack the place before they head on out for operation proper. They are never in a hurry. They take their sweet time about everything. Recently in Imo State, a well armed bunch of very business minded young men descended on a Police Station and politely asked the officers to leave. The officers left. While this was unfolding, one of the cowboys went to the UBA bank next door and tenderly informed the Bank Manager who was in the process of hurriedly locking up the bank to desist and keep the place open. He told the Bank Manager that his bank was actually their main destination. He then asked the Bank Manager if he could be so kind to inform his customers to vacate the place before the main force arrived. The Bank Manager did.
But the main “dividend of democracy” in Nigeria today is kidnapping. Everyone has become a potential victim. To avoid increasing your own odds of being kidnapped, abducted, etc, here are a few tips:
·“Unfresh” yourself. I.e., don’t look too fresh. How you do that is up to you. But looking fresh is a sure give away
·If an okada or jeep seems to be following you for more than two miles, make a detour, don’t go home
· Don’t carry Dollars, Pounds, Euros or any other foreign currency on you. Have a relative – preferably your least favourite nephew - go to the nearest Bureau de Change to change your money for you
·Don’t dress too casual (especially those coming from the USA). The cowboys can easily tell apart the people from Abuja. You won’t look anything like them
·Always wear leather slippers or, at best, light brown cork shoes – even if you have on the sharpest suit
· When any of your old mates or old neighbourhood toughs comes to you and tells you that you should not worry or be troubled about your environment; or tells you that you are covered or protected, or any such other reassurances, don’t sleep in that place that night
· If you see fleeing Policemen (especially telling is if any of them is removing his uniform as they run), turn your vehicle around and speed off in the direction the policemen are fleeing
· Depending on your base, avoid night vigil. God will understand
· Don’t take pictures of combat fatigue-clad military men sitting behind piles of sandbags (as in Aba for instance). You might be mistaken for a cowboy on reconnaissance
· Avoid campus girls at all costs. Unhappily, those good days are over. Quite a few of them now work as informants for the cowboys in between lectures and ASUU strikes
· Don’t get drunk in a Beer Parlour. There’s no telling what you might say
· Let your driver refuel the car. The little money he skims off you is worth it
· If you are on regular medication, divide these into two and have a small “travel pack” that you carry with you at all times
· Building a house? Take some spare “youth development” money with you. On average, N50,000 should suffice
· If you are receiving some imported goods or just transporting goods from one point to another, do not ride in the lorry or van (especially if you are in Delta State). Some of those Effurun boys are like Spiderman and they don’t play
· But the biggest tip of all: Do not carry bottled water with you everywhere you go.
Have a good one.
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Dear Publisher
Pls find attached my latest article for publication on your site.
Regards
Michael Egbejumi-David
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