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Oruka

September 19, 2009

Image removed.And it came to pass that a great urge to sleep for four years fell on Moloch Yaddie, ruler of the land Sodom, for his eyes were heavy. And he saith unto his Sanhedrin: “lo, I go to to sleep for four years. Appoint one of thineself even now who shall tender the vineyard, take care of thee, and make a beautiful bride for my son in whom I am well pleased. Make haste for my great sleep is at hand.” And it came to pass that there was great rejoicing among the Sanhedrin for one of them was going to tender the vineyard and marry the anointed son while Moloch Yaddie slept. This was not strange for in the land of Sodom, men marry men and women marry women.


And it came to pass that the Sanhedrin went into counsel saying: “who shall we choose to tender Moloch Yaddie’s vineyard and marry his anointed son?” And it came to pass that the wisdom of Baal their god fell upon them whereupon they selected a very dark man named Aondokelech the Tivite. And it came to pass that Aondokelech the Tivite approached the throne of Moloch Yaddie to pay obeisance, saying: “oh great Moloch, even as it please thee, I will tender thine vineyard and marry thine anointed son.” And it came to pass that Moloch Yaddie looked unto the Tivite and asked: “why art thou so dark?” And the Tivite replied: “oh great Moloch, look not upon me because I am black, because the sun hath looked upon me”. And Moloch Yaddie was pleased with this answer full of the wisdom of Baal. And he saith unto the Tivite: “my vineyard thou shalt tender but art thou worthy of my son? Doest thou even knoweth his story?”

And it came to pass that Aondokelech the Tivite replied with much wisdom, saying: “oh great Moloch, thine loving son, Iborilech the Edomite, was originally from the land of Gomorrah. He was pushed out of Gomorrah by his real father for it was said that Iborilech was of light fingers because his mother was the sister of one of the forty thieves who lived in Ali Baba’s cave in the land of the Arabs. But he found favor in thine eyes when he came to Sodom and thou adopted him as thine anointed son.” And it came to pass that Moloch Yaddie was very pleased with the wisdom of the Tivite and he ordered a great banquet to join his son, Iborilech the Edomite and Aondokelech the Tivite together in holy matrimony.

And it came to pass that there was great rejoicing in the land of Sodom. And they called a great feast to celebrate the wedding. Iborilech the Edomite and Aondokelech the Tivite looked truly regal on their wedding day. Kings and Ambassadors of every land in the world came, bearing gifts of great value for the new couple. And the members of the Sanhedrin, possessed of wine, spake and sang in tongues, as the couple marched through the streets of Sodom in a procession of splendor. They sang in a strange tongue, saying:

Oruka ti d’owo na
Di ololufe re mu
Ko s’eni to le ya yin
Titi lai lai

And it came to pass that Iborilech the Edomite and Aondokelech the Tivite danced to this strange song to celebrate their union. And it came to pass that the hedonists finished the wine by midnight. And there was great anger in the household of Moloch Yaddie for the ruler had paid for the wine to last until dawn. And it came to pass that there was a man named Victory, who came from a lineage of people who believed in the dignity of the crown. For a very long time Victory was a lowly scribe who wrote for the people of Sodom against the rulers who oppressed them. But he found favor with the crown even as it is written in his father’s name and was invited to the Rock to be the official loudspeaker of Moloch Yaddie. And Victory came unto his Master and said: “oh great Moloch, let it be known that I inherited twenty-five drums of wine from my father which I now give freely to the new royal couple.”

And it came to pass that there was a woman named Dora the wine taster who was from the tribe of the black Israelites enlightened by half of a yellow sun. And Dora the wine taster savoured the new wine, turned to Victory the loudspeaker who gaveth the wine, and said: “every man at the beginning doth set forth good wine and when men have well drunk, then that which is worse. But thou hast kept the good wine until now. Let this wine be rebranded as the mark of the giantness of the land of Our Father Moloch Yaddie”.
And it came to pass that after the great feast and when Moloch Yaddie hath gone into the great sleep that would last four years, Aondokelech the Tivite went unto his new bride but could not know him for Iborilech the Tivite was troubled. And Aondokelech the Tivite asked of his new bride: “what trouble besiege thee that I cannot know thee on the night of our union? Would thou maketh me Onan?”

And it came to pass that Iborilech the Edomite opened his mouth and spake thus: “oh Aondokelech my lover, mine heart is heavy for the Queen of the kingdom of Anglosalem accuses me of storing thirty six million shekels of my father’s money in her land. The shekels belong to the land of Sodom. What belongeth to the land of Sodom belongeth to my father, Moloch Yaddie. What belongeth to my father is my inheritance.”

And it came to pass that Aondokelech the Tivite saith unto his troubled bride: “Fear not. I am with thee. No weapon fashioned against thee by thine enemies shall prosper. A thousand shall fall by thine right hand, twenty thousand shall fall by thine left hand, they shall not harm even a hair of thine head. Only with thine eyes shalt thou see the iniquities of thine enemies. For I will rise tomorrow and go forth to the land of Anglosalem and tell their Queen: touch not my anointed! Sleep well now my love”
And it came to pass that as the royal couple slept, drunk members of the Sanhedrin were heard making merry and singing until the early hours of the morning the theme song of the great wedding:

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Oruka ti d’owo na
Di ololufe re mu
Ko s’eni to le ya yin
Titi lai lai

 


 

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