Skip to main content

Dr. Damages Interviews Gani

September 25, 2009

Image removed.I recently had an urgent message for my father who passed away on June 21, 2009. While transmuting with a parapsychologist who was trying to help me contact him by telepathy, I came in contact with Gani Fawehinmi, who passed away on September 5, 2009. I had interviewed Gani twice. Once in 2000 while he was in London for medical check up. The other was at his home in Ikeja in 2002. I was excited to chat with him. 

Dr. Damages: Were you disappointed that I am probably the only scribe who did not write a tribute to you?
Gani: Who are you?
Dr. Damages: It’s me, Dr. Damages.
Gani: Are you someone I should have known?
Dr. Damages: Yes. I interviewed you twice.
Gani: Ok.
Dr. Damages: I’m one of your admirers.
Gani: Join the line.
Dr. Damages: So you don’t remember me?
Gani: No.
Dr. Damages: So much for internet punditry.
Gani: You said what?
Dr. Damages: Never mind.
Gani: No, if you are someone I should know, please tell me.
Dr. Damages: Forget it.
Gani: If you say so.
Dr. Damages: Nigeria had not given anyone your kind of funeral since Zik’s death.
Gani: Whose fault is that?
Dr. Damages: Did you see how it turned into a spectacle?
Gani: I had left the building before it happened.
Dr. Damages: People were falling over each other trying to find a suitable adjective with which to qualify you.
Gani: The masses cannot live on adjectives.
Dr. Damages: How did that make you feel?
Gani: Nothing makes a man as helpless as death.
Dr. Damages: What would you have done?
Gani: There were people I would have loved to smack with my shoe for what they said.
Dr. Damages: People like Ibrahim Babangida?
Gani: People like you and many others.
Dr. Damages: You were buried in a gold-plated casket. Just like Michael Jackson.
Gani: It was not my wish.
Dr. Damages: What was your wish?
Gani: Something simple.
Dr. Damages: But you picked your coffin.
Gani: The glass coffin.
Dr. Damages: Why glass?
Gani: So that everyone can see.
Dr. Damages: That you’re really dead?
Gani: Just like you too will die one day.
Dr. Damages: God forbid.
Gani: God forbid what?
Dr. Damages: Me dying.
Gani: Will you live forever?
Dr. Damages: I’m the one doing the interviewing.
Gani: Please yourself.
Dr. Damages: How did you get into the gold-plated coffin?
Gani: That’s what happens when the government gets involved.
Dr. Damages: You even changed clothes many times.
Gani: I did?
Dr. Damages: Yes.
Gani: And you were not scared?
Dr. Damages: I wasn’t there.
Gani: Oh, I thought you saw me changing clothes.
Dr. Damages: Did you want the Obafemi Awolowo University to have your body?
Gani: I had wanted anybody who could put it to good use.
Dr. Damages: What kind of use could that be?
Gani: Use it scare the likes of Obasanjo.
Dr. Damages: Why were you buried in Ondo?
Gani: I hail from there.
Dr. Damages: But you ran away from there as soon as you could.
Gani: Death leads everyone home.
Dr. Damages: Did Babangida’s boys actually spread in your prison room the chemicals that caused your cancer?
Gani: No.
Dr. Damages: What caused it?
Gani: Smoking.
Dr. Damages: You mean cigarettes?
Gani: I smoked too much cigarettes.
Dr. Damages: So that accusation by your wife isn’t true.
Gani: No.
Dr. Damages: Is it like Fela’s wife saying that he got AIDS from something the government spread in his prison room and not from his numerous women?
Gani: Don’t blame the poor widow.
Dr. Damages: Why? Because death is a bitch?
Gani: Death brings all of a man’s bragging to an end.
Dr. Damages: Does it make all things right?
Gani: A lot of wrong things happen when you die.
Dr. Damages: Like what?
Gani: Like sitting here and answering your silly questions.
Dr. Damages: What would you rather be doing?
Gani: Decaying?
Dr. Damages: Say what?
Gani: Reincarnating.
Dr. Damages: People are searching for the next Gani.
Gani: Good luck to them.
Dr. Damages: Where should they search?
Gani: Under Aso Rocks.
Dr. Damages: Where?
Gani: In themselves.
Dr. Damages: What do you mean?
Gani: There is little Gani in all of us.
Dr. Damages: Even in Babangida?
Gani: Maybe not in Babangida but in many others.
Dr. Damages: How come?
Gani: There is guilt in innocence and innocence in guilt.
Dr. Damages: How do we get that out?
Gani: By eschewing greed, embracing selfless service and being prepared to lose your life in the struggle.
Dr. Damages: Forget that.
Gani: Then forget the search.
Dr. Damages: How is life over there?
Gani: Boring.
Dr. Damages: Have you seen any interesting Nigerian there?
Gani: Like who?
Dr. Damages: Zik.
Gani: No.
Dr. Damages: Awo
Gani: No.
Dr. Damages: Belewa.
Gani: No.
Dr. Damages: Okotiebo.
Gani: No.
Dr. Damages: Dimka.
Gani: I actually saw Major Okar.
Dr. Damages: Really?
Gani: Yes.
Dr. Damages: What about Fela?
Gani: Yes.
Dr. Damages: What!
Gani: What’s surprising about that?
Dr. Damages: I mean, the weed, the women and…
Gani: What a brainwashed fellow you are.
Dr. Damages: Are you sure you’re not in purgatory?
Gani: All I know is that I am where the angels are.
Dr. Damages: Seen anyone to sue?
Gani: Not yet.
Dr. Damages: Still waiting?
Gani: Waiting for Babangida to bring his behind here.
Dr. Damages: What will you sue him for?
Gani: For killing Dele Giwa.
Dr. Damages: Any regrets in life?
Gani: Just one.
Dr. Damages: What is it?
Gani: That I have but one life to give to my country.
Dr. Damages: There is something different about you?
Gani: Like what?
Dr. Damages: Like, since we started this chat, you haven’t quoted the Richardson Constitution or any other Constitution for that matter.
Gani: Do they matter anymore?
Dr. Damages: And you even seem to have a sense of humor. Something I had never seen in all your interviews. In fact, I never saw you smile.
Gani: Horace Walpole said that life is a tragedy to those who feel.
Dr. Damages: So you’ve stopped feeling?
Gani: He also said that it is a comedy to those who think.
Dr. Damages: So you now think?
Gani: Must I explain everything to you?
Dr. Damages: I just want clarifications.
Gani: I cannot believe the quality of graduates our universities are producing these days.
Dr. Damages: You see, something is different the way you speak today.
Gani: What?
Dr. Damages: You answer every question in one sentence. You don’t use to do that.
Gani: I know.
Dr. Damages: You use to take 30 minutes to answer a question.
Gani: That was then.
Dr. Damages: Why the change?
Gani: Could it be because I am dead?
Dr. Damages: I doubt that.
Gani: Maybe because you haven’t transcribed the last two-hour interview you had with me in 2002.
Dr. Damages: You still remember that?
Gani: All you do when you die is to remember things.
Dr. Damages: Gee!
Gani: Lookia my frien, I be thin say you get sense of humor.
Dr. Damages: Ha ha ha ha…
Gani: Shurrup!
Dr. Damages: Sorry, Sir.
Gani: O pari o!


googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('content1'); });

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('comments'); });

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('content2'); });