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Get Well Soon My President by Essien Ndueso

March 4, 2010

Your Excellency, I know you may be wondering who I am and why I have not written earlier than today. Well, I am a journalist by training and a patriotic citizen of this country. But for the purpose of this message, I will prefer that you consider me as your friend.

 

Sir I attempted to visit you the very day I heard you have returned. But when I learnt that you were resting, I decided to wait. You see. In my community, writing a letter to one’s leader on sensitive issues is a taboo.
That is why, you may recall, our former Governor Attah has kept receiving knocks for always attacking his successor through open letters on the pages of newspapers. But my resolve to resort to this means is borne out of fact that even the Ag President despite several attempts, has still been unable to see you. 
I would have written earlier while you were still there, but my poor Arabic skills would not allow me.

I am not sure I can stand the stress of journeying all the way to the Rock of Aso, only to be accosted by Yusuf Tilde, your Chief Security Officer. I have heard quite a lot about that man who single handedly refused everyman access to you even if for the purpose of praying and wishing you well. And I did not also want to meet madam with drops of tears in her eye as that could trigger tears in mine and cause a heartbreak.

I have followed your records very meticulously and I believe I know you well enough to conclude that you mean well for our country. It is this goodwill that possibly made Nigerians to support you massively, despite reports of a not too satisfactory health record. In their great numbers, Nigerians were hopeful that even in bad health you were a better choice to those greedy and corrupt politicians, whose motives were to loot our national treasury and milk our country dry.

Your Excellency, you started really well. Yours was an administration committed to zero tolerance on corruption. Your seven-point agenda was equaling very appealing as it sought to tackle the very problems that sought to tear our nation state apart. From Security, Agriculture, Niger Delta, Power, education and electoral reforms etc, you left no one in doubt.

However, it was not long before we saw that the eight agenda of getting yourself well again was impeding your ability to see through your good dreams for the country. We all fasted and prayed fervently for your full recovery and good health. I remember the day you visited us in Uyo in November 2008, all of us saw that you did not quite look well. You had to fly back that same day while your deputy flew in to take charge of the remaining activities in the PDP anniversary programme.

Our people believe that as long as there is life, the neck can always wear gold, and that when someone has eaten he is able to sweep a long porch. Your Excellency, our people equally love you and just as you mean well for us, we equally wish that you fare well.

Unfortunately, there are a couple of selfish individuals who do not wish you well and do not wish any better for the country. They have (sadly though) found themselves surrounding you (or your chair as the case may be).

Mr. President, during your absence and on a day when we were celebrating Christmas, a small overfed spoilt brat with the head of a coconut, decided to enter the Guinness book by attempting the bombing of a USA bound plane. He ended up getting our country’s name on the book of terrorist nations.

Sir you may not have been told, that the supplementary budget was signed last December by somebody who claimed to be you.

Then in January, another person who could not even speak well was planted on BBC radio, claiming to be you. Of all the problems plaguing us in this nation, the only one that caught the attention of that impostor was the African Football tournament in Angola.

Thereafter, your Attorney General came out to claim that you have spoken to the trio of VP, Senate President and House of Reps Speaker. But when we asked Jonathan what you told him to tell us, he claimed that you spoke for only three minutes, in other words you did not have any message for us.

Several people who have been to the land of the King of Gold, have been denied access to you. While you were there, your aides put up an excuse that the King does not allow people to visit his sick special guests. A resolution of the Federal House of Representatives that some members should bring you a get well soon message was rebuffed by your aides who refused them access to you.

Then came your party chiefs who travel all the breadth and length to come and give you the PDP antidote, yet to no avail and as a result of excessive tears of frustration, your party chairman developed eyes problem causing his being rushed to an Indian hospital.

There was nothing your boys did not do to this country, and then came a period when the retiring chief Judge was to hand over to his successor. And just like the supplementary budget episode, they debated on the idea that the incoming Judge could go to Saudi Arabia to get the oath of office from you(of course without any witness). When it did not seem plausible, they directed the out-going CJ to immediately swear in his successor.

Then the Governors, your former colleagues, decided to come and visit you with that brotherly and affectionate warmth, and yet again, your people rejected the olive branch and sent them away. After that, the National Assembly resolved to play some pranks and adopted a very illogical approach to declare Jonathan acting President.

Sir, it was with this new found authority that the Ag President directed that some exco members should come and visit you, and brief you on the developments in the country. Again, this was resisted by your boys, who threaten brimstone and their plane was denied landing permit. The exco members were endlessly kept waiting at the Abuja airport, and later forced to accept their task as a thank-you visit to the King and nothing more.

 But surprisingly, as they made towards the airport, your kitchen exco decided on a devilish trick of rushing you back toNigeria in the wee hours, and like a thief in the night, you were bundled with the aid of hurricane lantern into an ambulance and driven “home," all without the knowledge of the Ag President. As I’m talking to you now, you are in Nigeria, (even though the ambulance you are resting may resemble the Saudi Clinic that you were kept before).

In the morning, the Federal Executive Council was called off because your CSO came in to “secure” your seat by 10am and yet you never turned up even by 12. Everyone that has gone to see you has been told that you are still sleeping.

I don’t know when you started your current sleep, but I want to pray that Your Excellency wakes up and put an end to this enigma. These selfish and hungry sycophants should stop making a living from rubbing mud on your hard earned reputation.

Get well soon sir.

With love from Essien,

Uyo, Akwa Ibom State


 

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