There are many things in Nigeria that evokes pity while there are some that simply do otherwise (i.e. stirs up laughter). States and their nicknames is something that we have got so familiar with that we seem unable to deduce something funny from it.
After a careful study of the nicknames, I have created something that might just make you laugh. I have been able to give new meanings to the appellations of these states based on recent occurrences. So come along while I take you on a roller-coaster ride
Abia is said to be God’s own state but does that also include replacing a governor with another, both sharing the same surname and yet not related?
Anambra is called ‘home for all’. Little wonder in that state there are people from all works of life, criminals, ballot box snatchers and even a dreaded shrine ( Okija). It is indeed home for all!
Bauchi is not given any and that means nothing that comes out of that state should surprise us (good or bad alike).
Borno is called ‘home of peace’ but how do we explain the book haram saga and the unfortunate rape and subsequent murder of a youth corper ? I think the state deserves the opposite of what it is called.
Cross-river ‘the people’s paradise’. Little wonder , their former fine boy musician ( sorry Governor) built them Tinapa. The state is truly a paradise atleast in Nigeria where we have so many hells.
Another interesting one is Delta which is called ‘the big heart’. The heart is really big when it boasts of people like the Ogorigbo himself. A man who single handedly funded the presidential ambition of another. The state’s heart was also big enough to harbour him from the long arm of the law. The heart is indeed big.
Edo is called ‘the heartbeat of the nation’ but is there anything really beating in that state? If that state is the nation’s heartbeat the nation might soon suffer a cardiac arrest.
Ekiti is called the ‘fountain of knowledge’ and the people pride themselves in having the largest numbers of professors but surprisingly an ordinary tout who does not even have respect for traditional institution became the governor. To further rob salt into their injury, in a civilian era, they were given a military man to oversee their affairs when they could not rule themselves.
Imo is the ‘land of hope’. The governor is really bringing hope to the hopeless jobseekers by selling 10,000 jobs.
Kaduna is the liberal state. The state is truly liberal. To see a state in the North without Christian Muslim altercation is rare.
Kastina is called the state of hospitality. I now understand why the man they gave Nigeria as president spend more time in the hospital than in the state house.
Niger is said to be the power state. Little wonder a shameless man from there wants to eat from a plate he once broke. People from this state must think power is their birthright?
Ondo state is the ‘sunshine state’. Thank God the light is finally shinning after a long haul of darkness. It is good to have the right man in power. Let us all say NO to drunkards.
Oyo state is the pacesetter state. I wonder where they are setting the pace? Yes I now remember, the first state to convert graduates into cab-drivers and also have an existing office of the first-lady.
Plateau. Can you imagine calling that state ‘home of peace and tourism’? What is peaceful and worth seeing by tourists? They should change the name to home of horror and massacre.
Yobe is called ‘the young shall grow’. This is the main reason why we have not heard of any progress from the state. It is still growing. I wonder when it will come of age.
Zamfara has no name. This state has been in the news for the wrong reasons. It was the first state to start sharia law in Nigeria and also the state where a senator who unfortunately was the ex-governor has turned into a pedophile consummating marriages with minor. Distinguished senator, how is your 13year old wife doing?
Lagos and center of excellence. Saving the best for the last. This is undoubtedly the best state in Nigeria with the best governor. To the governor, I say keep up the dream of a mega city.
Thank you all.
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