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Solarius Among The Pharisees

June 24, 2011

And it came to pass that the assembly of pharisees elected to make laws for the good of the people of Sodom in the city by the rock made laws only to apportion the people’s shekels unto their own inheritance.

And it came to pass that the assembly of pharisees elected to make laws for the good of the people of Sodom in the city by the rock made laws only to apportion the people’s shekels unto their own inheritance.

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And when each pharisee hath apportioned a million shekels unto himself, their supreme leader, a man called Bonamarkus the Idomite, summoned the junior leader, Ekwerelech, who was of the tribe of the merchants. It was said of the merchants that only half of a yellow sun shone upon their land.

And Bonamarkus the Idomite saith unto Ekwerelech: “lo, seeing that we apportioned unto our pockets a million shekels from the people’s inheritance yesterday and we have not seen the anger of the people of Sodom nor the judgement of King Jona, it is meet that we apportion a billion shekels of the people’s inheritance unto our pockets today.” And Ekwerelech praised the words of his master, saying, “o great Bonamarkus our leader, who is like unto thee? Great indeed is thy faithfulness unto the assembly of pharisees. I shall rise up now and announce to all the pharisees that a billion shekels shall be added unto each of us from that which belongeth to the people of Sodom.”

And it came to pass that each pharisee took a billion shekels and added it unto a million shekels that was already their reward. And when their cups hath overunneth with the people’s inheritance, Bonamarkus the Idomite cried out loud and saith unto the gathering of the pharisees, “seeing that the inheritance of this land hath been given unto us, bring forth musicians who play the horn, flute, zither, lyre, harp and all kinds of music. Bring forth your best robes; and put rings on your hands and shoes on your feet; and bring hither the fatted calf and kill it; bring forth the best wine from the land of Cana; bring forth golden and silver vessels and let us eat and drink and be merry. For even the little that the people of Sodom hath has been taken from them and added unto us.” And the pharisees drank wine and praised the gods of gold, and of silver, of brass, of iron, of wood, and of stone.

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And it came to pass that the noise from the great feast of the pharisees did not wake King Jona who was fast asleep in the golden palace by the rock. And even as the pharisees rejoiced, so did the people of Sodom cry out in anguish for hunger and pestilence greater than the plagues of the land of Egypt came upon them. But the cries of the people did not wake King Jona. And I Am That I Am, who ruleth over the earth and the skies, heard the cries of the Sodomites and saw the iniquities of the pharisees. And He was greatly angered by the wickedness of the pharisees and moved to pity by the hunger of the Sodomites.
And it came to pass that there was a righteous man called Solarius the Osunite. Solarius was a great knower of papyrus whose beard hath become white from years of working and fighting for his people. And seeing that he was steadfast and without blemish, I Am that I Am caused a great sleep to come upon him. And when Solarius hath fallen asleep, I Am that I Am summoned him to a holy place in his dream. And when Solarius hath come to the place, a voice came upon him and saith: “draw not nigh hither but put off thy shoes from off thy feet for the place whereupon thou standest is holy ground.  Moreover, I am the God of thy father the God of Abraham the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob.” And Solarius hid his face for he was afraid to look upon God.”

Whereupon God saith unto him: “I have surely seen the affliction of the people of Sodom; I have heard the snoring of King Jona; I have seen the iniquities of the wicked pharisees who apportion the people’s inheritance unto themselves and slaughter the fatted calf for Belzebub. And I come down to destroy the assembly of the pharisees but I shall give thee a chance to redeem them before I destroy them. I shall cause thee to be elected and thou shalt go among them for four years. And if in four years thou find one, just one pharisee who is upright like thee and doth not steal from the people of Sodom, I shall not destroy them.”

And Solarius saith unto God: “who am I that I should go unto the assembly and find one righteous pharisee? And God saith: “I will be with thee. If thou findest one righteous pharisee, I shall spare the assembly but if thou findest none like thee, I will stretch out my hands and smite the pharisees and destroy their assembly. And not one stone shall be left standing on another.” And Solarius the Osunite rose and went into the assembly of the pharisees in the city by the rock.

And in his first year among the pharisees, Bonamarkus and Ekwerelech came unto Solarius and saith: behold we are going to the land of Egypt where our brother, Yerimacchus the Sharianite, has found a good thing and obtained favour from the pharaohs. He will take a second bride.” And Solarius asked them: “why doth Yerimacchus need a second bride from the land of Egypt?” And they said: “it is written that his brides shall have only thirteen moons. The bride he took two moons ago from Egypt now hath fifteen moons. He must return now to Egypt and take a new bride who hath only thirteen moons.” And Solarius asked again: “pray, why must all the assembly go with him to the land of Egypt to take a second bride?” And they replied: “we are heavy laden with shekels and must go and make merry with Yerimacchus in the land of Egypt.” And Solarius looked on in wonderment.

And in his second year among them, the other pharisees came to Solarius and saith: “behold we have decided to take three billion shekels each from the people’s inheritance.” And Solarius asked: “pray, why take the people’s shekels? I shall not partake of that which is not mine.” And they replied: “because each of us took one million shekels and the people spake not; then each of us took one billion shekels and the people spake not; now, we shall take three billion shekels.” And Solarius looked on in wonderment.

And in his third year among them, the pharisees came unto Solarius and saith: “behold the year of rest is come for we have laboured hard these past two years. This year we shall do no work. We shall only take shekels and make merry.” And Solarius was greatly surprised that the year of rest is come for he hath spent two years among them and hath not seen them do any work for the people of Sodom. And he asked them: “pray, when did you do all the work and now you need a year of rest?” And they replied: “first we took a million shekels, then we took a billion shekels, then we took three billion shekels, then we made merry at the wedding feast of Yerimacchus the Sharianite in the land of Egypt. Our bones ache from all that labour and we must rest for a year.” And Solarius looked on in wonderment.

And in his fourth year among them, the pharisees came unto Solarius and saith: “lo, the hour is come when we must go forth to the people of Sodom and ask to be reappointed unto the assembly of pharisees. We must each take ten billion shekels from the people’s inheritance.” And Solarius asked in astonishment: “pray, why take the people’s inheritance again?” And they laughed and saith unto him: “four years hath past and thou knowest not the rules of our sport. It is meet that we take ten billion shekels each to buy bread and fish and grains for the people of Sodom that they may reappoint us to the assembly of pharisees.” And Solarius looked on in wonderment.

And when the appointed time came at the end of the fourth year, God caused a great sleep to come upon Solarius his anointed. And when his eyes hath closed, God came upon him in a dream and saith: “Solarius my faithful servant, after four years of thy sojourn among the pharisees in the city by the rock, did thou find one who is righteous in my eyes and did not steal from the people?

Did thou find one like thee?” And Solarius cast himself on the ground and did obeissance and saith: “my lord and my God, I am but thy humble servant. Who am I to claim righteousness before thee?” And God asked again: “Solarius my servant, did thou find one righteous man among the pharisees who doth not steal from the people?” And Solarius replied: “No, my lord. No, not one.”

Whereupon God saith unto Solarius: “behold the hour of judgement is at hand. Thou must rise up now and leave the assembly of the pestilential pharisees. Thou must leave the city by the rock and return to thy people and serve them. And thou must not look back on the condemned city by the rock lest thou become a pillar of salt. For I will lay a heavy hand on the iniquitous pharisees and destroy their assembly. I will feed their flesh to the birds of the skies and bring to nought their shekels and their inheritance. I will visit their iniquities and transgressions upon their children and their children’s children unto the third and the fourth generation. So let it be written, so let it be done.”

And it came to pass that a great cloud gathered and there were rumbles of thunder. And Solarius awoke from his dream and great fear is come upon him. And he made haste to gather his modest belongings and leave the city by the rock as God hath instructed him. And as he journeyed back to his people he lifted up his voice and sang along:

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases
  His mercies never come to an end;
They are new every morning—
        New every morning
Great is Thy faithfulness, O Lord
    Great is Thy faithfulness.”

He did not look back.

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