Now That The Anti-Gay Rights Bill Has Been Signed Into Law By Sheriff Garba

Now that the Anti-Gay Rights Bill has been signed into law…first and foremost, I think President Goodluck Jonathan needs to be commended.

This is indubitably the best act of his administration thus far and there’s no gainsaying that he deserves every commendation there is for the courageous and decisive step he took to safeguard the moral fabric of our great country, Nigeria. The timely signing of the bill into law will now ensure the timely preservation of our Christian/Moslem and cultural norms which our esteemed and honorable Imams, Pastors, Sheiks, Bishops, Obis, Obas, Emirs and whatnot have fought for so long and are still fighting to preserve.

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There is no doubt that this is a great time for Nigeria and indeed the whole of Africa as we have laid a positive example for our brother African nations to follow even against the pressure from the domineering and morally bankrupt western nations like America and Britain who never tire of trying to shove their immorality down our throat.

That being said, we should do well to note that the only thing better than doing a good thing is sustaining that good thing and improving on it. So now that the Anti-Gay Rights Bill has been signed into law, there should be improvements. Since the Anti-Gay Rights legislation was enacted on the basis of preserving our religio-cultural ethos, we should take it a step further by enacting other legislation to further this cardinal objective. In no particular order, these two major legislation should be enacted: 

Cultural Renaissance Bill: every African is proud of the so-called African culture and would love to preserve it. Against this backdrop, laws should be introduced to protect and even enhance our cultural practices as handed to us by our oft-referenced ancestors. Child marriages should be enshrined in the constitution for starters; especially for the North since it forms a key part of northern Nigerian culture. The killing of twins, mutilation of “Ogbanje” children and the “Osu” caste system should also be re-introduced in the south-eastern part of the country. These traditions formed a key part of Eastern Nigerian culture as it helped ward off evil in the communities concerned – at least that was the prevailing wisdom. As for the west, the “Oro” cult practice should be strengthened and even enshrined in the constitution. The same should apply to the “Elesin Oba” practice in old Oyo.

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Shar’iah Law for Moslems and Canon Law for Christians: since Islam and Christianity are our major religions, I’m sure no Moslem or Christian will object to this especially as it will safeguard our moral values and help in curtailing adultery, blasphemy, idolatry (that by the way implies the outlawing of paganism and all who indulge in this sinful practice – we can start by outlawing the Osun-Osogbo festival for example), anger, envy, covetousness, enmity and the likes.

 By the way I forgot “fornication”. Good Christians will remember how God nearly wiped out King David’s house because of his liaison with Bathsheba. We can establish a stone manufacturing or stone gathering (as the case may be) factory to cater to the numerous stone throwing executions for women convicted of fornication in Shar’iah or Canon Law Courts. I’m sure as eggs that every Christian and Moslem would support the enactment of this particular piece of legislation. After all, as good Christians and Moslems we must invariably do all we can to support codes and laws that will checkmate if not completely eliminate sinful practices that will keep us from making Heaven or Al Jannah and even bring God’s wrath upon us,  his wonderful creatures - duly created in his lovely and righteous image.

Besides, in an economy rife with unemployment this makes perfect economic sense. The stones left over from stoning the fornicators and adulterers and even people convicted of stealing from government coffers can then be used to stone the gays and lesbians who pose a huge threat to our economy, security, and political structure at this critical juncture in Nigeria’s history.

We should also outlaw bigamy/polygamy as the Bible, particularly the new testament does not support it…although now that I think of it I’m not sure how Moslems will take this since their own religion permits them to marry up to four wives. Which also brings me to the knotty issue of alcohol which I think should be outlawed since the very Holy Quran forbids the consumption of the evil substance but again I’m not so sure how Christians will take it since the equally Holy Bible seems to permit it so long as it is consumed in reasonable quantities. This issue is becoming too knotty for my liking; perhaps we should just throw it to a referendum or someone, maybe God (Jehovah or Allah?) - and see who wins…

Knotty issues, thorny thoughts.

Moving (or running?) away from that conundrum, opponents of these potential legislation, especially those who oppose it on the basis of human rights or humanitarian reasoning should remember that where and when religio-cultural practices and values in Nigeria in particular and Africa as a whole are concerned, women’s rights, child rights, LGBT rights (which has finally been criminalized - Thank God!) or whatever rights it is called should and must invariably take a backseat.

The civilized but sinful West may not like it but that is the kind of people we are.

That is the way we like it.

And that is the way we do it.

The views expressed in this article are the author’s own and do not necessarily reflect the editorial policy of SaharaReporters 

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