As the latest version of the same kind of meaningless talk shop that has periodically been convened by various Nigerian Governments over the past three or four decades kicks off, all the talk is currently about alleged marginalisation of some ethnic groups, squabbles about religious differences, complaints about the adequacy or inadequacy of feeding allowances, fights over seating arrangements and many other assorted red herrings.
As the latest version of the same kind of meaningless talk shop that has periodically been convened by various Nigerian Governments over the past three or four decades kicks off, all the talk is currently about alleged marginalisation of some ethnic groups, squabbles about religious differences, complaints about the adequacy or inadequacy of feeding allowances, fights over seating arrangements and many other assorted red herrings.
However, amidst all the noise making by the usual assembly of empty barrels, it is easy to predict that the one important topic that Nigerians need to sit down and discuss seriously will be OFF the table!
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Indeed, there are no prizes to be won by correctly anticipating that very few of those who have currently gathered in Abuja to play to the gallery and flaunt their highly inflated sense of self-value will be minded to raise the issue of the fundamental economic choices that have led our beloved nation into such a dire situation that dozens of impoverished youths died recently vying desperately for low level civil service positions that were apparently advertised as part of a massive scam organized at the very highest level of the Nigerian government.
The usual excuse for not discussing the economy is that economic issues are boring : What is supposed to count is the all too Nigerian game of political “stuntmanship!”
So, no prizes for correctly concluding that the following issues are those that will be of immediate concern to the verbal gladiators who are currently gathered in Abuja:
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- Which are the latest political party alliances that can be formed in the course of secret and not-so-secret nightly meetings among Confab attendees? (N.B. For ‘political party’, read : ‘gang of devious manipulators’!).
- To which non African religion does this or that future Governor/legislator/ Presidential candidate claim to be affiliated?
- How far have the various ethno-regional conspiratorial groups succeeded in entangling and confusing the Nigerian populace through their nefarious vote-sucker creation schemes?
- How can the latest talk shop empty sloganeering gathering succeed in adding useful new refinements to the horrible self perpetuating power grabbing game that has enabled the various branches of the Nigerian elite class to lord it over the hapless majority of Nigerians in place of the British overlords whom they ostensibly replaced a half century ago?
Obviously, no one will want to talk about Nigeria’s economic choices and strategies, since the kind of primitive savage capitalism that the elite class and their foreign puppet masters have succeeded in imposing on our people all these years will always be presented as the ‘best international practice’, associated with the highest ideals of western derived political party democracy.
Strangely enough however, even though fundamental economic issues will be off the table during the latest talk show extravaganza that has just been declared open in Abuja by Nigeria’s current would-be Pastor/President, it is not altogether coincidental that a certain group of dolled-up supposed economic specialists who habitually parade under the title of Nigerian Economic Summit has simultaneously surfaced in Abuja to hold their usual annual conference.
To all intents and purposes, the purpose of this gathering on the side must be to create the impression that SOME attention is being paid to economic issues by the powers that be, even though the main national talk shop itself will strenuously avoid all such boring and inelegant subjects!
Not surprisingly, the distinguished members of the aptly named Nigerian Economic Summit (summit of idleness and folly?) have distinguished themselves year after year by gathering solemnly in Abuja to declare with straight faces that the Nigerian economy has never fared better, and that Nigeria is well on the path to becoming a world economic power!
To accuse the members of this peculiar fraternity of being avid practitioners of voodoo economics will be to indulge in a massive form of understatement : The total disconnect between the amazing economic predictions of the Nigerian Economic Summit group members and the realities of Nigerian existence are such that these illustrious folks may be said to most closely resemble actors in the early silent comic movies, jerking around the screen at oddly accelerated speeds while everything around them collapses in utter confusion.
However, it is whispered in some circles that their yeoman yearly labour in Abuja may not go entirely unrewarded, since a number of bountiful contracts are said to flow each year from the denizens of Aso rock once they have finished imbibing the potent misleading beverages that are expertly concocted on each occasion by the Summit attendees.
And so, since no one will condescend to discuss economic issues and strategies in Abuja now or in the near future, it will be left to the neglected and mercilessly exploited majority of the Nigerian populace to ponder the following questions in the midst of their ever-growing hunger and pain:
- How come there are so many banks in present-day Nigeria and so few industries?
- Who are the REAL owners of these ubiquitous banks?
- On what basis have Nigeria’s oil wells and the fabulous wealth derived from them been allocated to a few lucky individuals?
- Is it really true that a lady in our midst graduated to the status of ‘richest woman in Africa’ simply by virtue of being a fashion designer supplying clothes to the wife of a former military dictator, who in gratitude prevailed on her husband to allocate one of our oil wells to the lucky new member of the Forbes group of the world’s most fabulously wealthy individuals?
- How much oil is actually pumped and sold each day by the Nigerian National Petroleum Company, how much is paid for this oil, and what fraction of this money actually finds its way back into the nation’s coffers?
- How much tax do the foreign oil companies pay to the Nigerian Government each year, and how is their tax rate assessed?
- How long do the supposed leaders of Nigeria have to remain on bended knees with bowed heads to listen in awe and worshipful respect each time they are summoned to receive orders from their foreign puppet masters, delivered through the so-called World Bank and IMF local representatives?
The list of questions could go on an on, but since they are not amusing, we will have to set them aside and content ourselves with watching the free cinema shows that have been set up in Abuja for our benefit for the next three months...
WHO SAYS THERE IS NOTHING LEFT TO ENJOY IN OUR IMPOVERISHED NATION?
* Dr. Ola Balogun is a film maker and musician who currently lives in Lagos.
The views expressed in this article are the author’s own and do not necessarily reflect the editorial policy of SaharaReporters
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