Recently, Ali Ndume entered into the eye of the storm for suggesting that men marry more wives as a way of showing care to them. A move am very sure the Senator regrets considering the barrage of scorn and rebuke that greeted his submission (honest or otherwise). More are still been strongly worded to pile on embarrassment on the legislator. One may create a glum mental picture of the senator, wishing he could go back in time to correct the thought glitch that prompted him to make that prayer. If this is the case, then I would be disappointed with the senator. I think he was daring in the midst of so many cowards, all hiding their insatiable taste for our anties, mummys and sisters for fear of the sort of backlash that has refused to stay away from the man. He had paid the ultimate price for putting a voice to the thoughts of many within that hallowed chamber. This nagging question remains, is it the messenger and the manner in which the message was relayed that's the problem?
Recently, Ali Ndume entered the eye of the storm for suggesting that men marry more wives as a way of showing care to them. A move am very sure the Senator regrets considering the barrage of scorn and rebuke that greeted his submission (honest or otherwise). More are still been strongly worded to pile on embarrassment on the legislator. One may create a glum mental picture of the senator, wishing he could go back in time to correct the thought glitch that prompted him to make that prayer. If this is the case, then I would be disappointed with the senator. I think he was daring in the midst of so many cowards, all hiding their insatiable taste for our anties, mummys and sisters for fear of the sort of backlash that has refused to stay away from the man. He had paid the ultimate price for putting a voice to the thoughts of many within that hallowed chamber. This nagging question remains, is it the messenger and the manner in which the message was relayed that's the problem?Or, is it the message itself?
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FIDA like many women advocacy groups have given the legislator a piece of their anger in as definitive a manner as possible but, is it true that polygamy removes the footing upon which women measure up to men? How can we adequately situate these agitation in the true realities of cultural and religious borderlines?
Won't the so called women prefer the security that lawfully conscripted co-wives bring to the home to the disease and mortal risk that their husbands partake of every time they share a bed with the numerous willing and ready jezebels out there? Or are women at that point where pretense as to the many illicit affairs of their dirty husbands is a consolation? Ignorance is bliss they say but, trust me, only few African women can confidently submit that their husbands' turgidity is a sacred sight for only them. What is the danger margin of our mothers anytime our African fathers, inherently polygamous as it were but reined in by the dictates of religious restrictions or the fear of reprisals from boss ladies, go to the black market to sample the black variety that God knows abound aplenty?
Am sure my mothers, not to be outdone by so old an argument will counter that a man who thinks with his third leg rather than his head may never be satisfied with even ten wives. Valid as that argument may appear on the outside, it still leaves a window for ponder. Will our very many mothers who out of frustration have ran out of favour with men and are now promoting that unafrican term of single motherhood be securely sheltered by a towering African man regardless of the number he can adequately cater for so long as they are allowed to pursue career and advancement in the arduous task of nation building? If yes, what then is the big deal?
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When arguments of gender equality are rolled out, they are often tainted with emotion - a bottled up anger from a failed marriage somewhere, transfered aggression from the debilitating antics of an animal donning the garb of an African man etc. forgetting the fact that, although the African culture positioned man stately above the woman, it also carved out rather ingeniously, a right for the woman that modern outlooks can not fathom, the right to fecundity, the right to determine the future of men, the right to hold their hands and take them all the way to glory, by being patient, supportive and above all, submissive. If this is not an honor then I don't know what is anymore. And by that, I don't mean to posit here that all African men are united in sainthood. God knows, we have so many who marry even little girls, muzzle up their thoughts and reduce them to mere sex slaves. But does that excuse anyone employing the lens of broad generalisation when dealing with such issue? I will think not.
Ali Ndume has paid the price for saying albeit out of favour what many men in Nigeria hope will become law regardless of their religion. Trust me, the nays would have been unanimously debunked had the debate taken place at a different place devoid of the potential for PR damages and perhaps international and imperialist scorn. But such is our curse, striving to hang on to our African roots while at the same time fronting as evangelists for the very ideals that are deliberately positioned to rob us of our only real possession - Africanism and that is a daunting task.
Forgive me if i am blunt but, instead of fighting a losing battle because That's what trying to choke out polygamy is, women should do as it was suggested in the play 'Our husband has gone mad again' organise themselves, God knows they control a number that can never be toyed with, take commanding roles and pull us out of this problem that their husbands, our fathers, with their help have landed us into and doing that has nothing to do with monogamy or polygamy. Let me reiterate here that, Though challenging, the life of a married woman in a polygamous home is far secured than that of a single woman who is neither married nor inclined towards that direction.
Our anties and mummys of the high order must face some of these hard facts. Are women living together as co-wives not featured in the unending healthy competition with their counterparts on how to increase the relevance of the female gender to the enduring sociopolitical debate and sustainable all round developments? Are they hindered by their husbands or their disparity on the alter of chauvinism?
We must learn to differentiate between what is agitation as it affects the functional relevance of an African woman, flaunting her royalty as it were to change the existing narrative, take active roles in championing the paradigm shift from the gender neutral problems that are daily eating away at the very fabric that unites us as Africans and, the ego appealing popularity stunts that sadly have become the nucleus of our women gender equality pogrom.
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