In his first international outing since becoming Emperor of Mumusville, Emperor Bob Andy Tate (BAT) was the special guest of honor at Choking House, United Kongdom.
Welcoming the new Emperor, President Ben Bella of United Kongdom said: “We are greatly honored by the visit of his Excellency, Emperor Bob Andy Tate of Mumusville. On behalf of our great country, we congratulate the new Emperor on his successful coronation. Being the first country his Excellency will visit, shows the love and respect between our two countries. The Emperor and I agreed that he’ll take only 10 questions. The Emperor promised me that he’ll answer the questions honestly without holding back any information. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Emperor Bob Andy Tate.”
“My name is Emperor Bob Andy Tate, the newly crowned Emperor of Mumusville. I bring you felicitations from my people to yours. I was born between the years 1492 and 1952 in the village of Dunceville. My DNA confirmed that my father was Bob Andy Tate Snr., and my mother Trickster Tate, both of blessed memory. I attended St. John’s Elementary School and Government College both in Dunceville. I earned my degree from Kangaroo State University in Mumusville. Before I joined politics, I worked for multi-national corporation of Delete & Mobile.”
“I’ll take 10 questions. I’ll answer four and the rest six questions will be answered by my team members, one question per person: Consul General Hell Ruffian, Fumme Gbakamila, Bintu Adu, Wally Edon, Dale Ala-Carte, and Benning Aayadee.”
“Your Excellency, you were once involved in drugs when you were a student at Kangaroo State University. Can you tell us how much money you made from drugs?”
Emperor BAT: “Dale Ala-Carte is in the best position to answer the question… Ala-Carte over to you.”
“Your Excellency, Nigerians are concerned and worried about the status of your health. Your Excellency, what’s the status of your health now? Are Nigerians right to be worried about your health?”
Emperor BAT: “The best man to answer questions about my health is Consul General Hell Ruffian. Are you there Ruffian? Over to you.”
“Emperor BAT, there have been allegations that you’re very economical with the truth. Did you attend Kangaroo State University or The University of Kangaroo?
Emperor BAT: Fumme Gbakamila, where are you? Please answer the question.”
“Your Excellency, is it true you lied about your date of birth and age, and about your parentage. Can you tell us who your parents were and your actual age?”
Emperor BAT: “Well, I’m not sure of the date I was born. Not sure of my parents too. But Bintu Adu is here with my actual date of birth and names of my biological parents. Adu, please help me out.”
“Your Excellency, have you ever worked for a company called Delete & Mobile?”
Emperor BAT: “Benning Aayadee is the most competent to answer your question about Delete & Mobile. Ben, please go ahead.”
“Once again, I thank President Ben Bella for his warm reception. During my reign, I’ll expand and extend the historical ties between our two countries that have existed for two centuries. Special attention will be on slave trade, drug trafficking, human trafficking, prostitution, corruption, exploitation, subjugation. These are the areas of our cooperation and collaboration that bind our two countries together.”
President Ben Bella: “Thank you all for coming. We wish the Emperor and his entourage safe trip back to the great country of Mumusville.”