In this tragedy of certificate forgery, Tinubu stands shoulder to shoulder with his immediate predecessor and several other retrogrades in the Nigerian political class.
What else can we say to the honorable Judge Nancy Maldonado and Magistrate Judge Jeffrey Gilbert except that, by embracing diligence and moral uprightness in their work, they have played an immense and unquantifiable role in the exposure of the putrefaction of the Nigerian state? For this, we owe them our profound gratitude. Much to the chagrin of the proponents of the absurdity which Tinubu and his cult of bootlickers represent, the undeniable truth has now superseded the disgraceful romanticization of this scandal of certificate forgery, among other blemishes of unabashed and unrepentant criminality, from which Tinubu can no longer whitewash himself.
From the citadel of justice in Chicago, we have been furnished with the conclusive facts that not only did Nigeria’s current president, Bola Tinubu, not obtain a Bachelor of Science degree from Chicago State University in 1979, but the certificate he presented to Nigeria’s electoral umpire evidences a clear case of barefaced forgery and identity theft. In this tragedy of certificate forgery, Tinubu stands shoulder to shoulder with his immediate predecessor and several other retrogrades in the Nigerian political class. On its own, this debasement of public responsibility among elected representatives would be offensive by all reasonable standards and to all politically conscious persons in any democracy, but Nigeria insists it must be different, since its leaders are practically self-selected, and whatever is offensive and degenerate must be upturned and idealized as the pinnacle of perfection. As scandalous and damning as Tinubu’s interconnected chain of criminality is and would be in any functioning society, it unfortunately can only mean so much in Nigeria. Nevertheless, despair should be knowingly frowned upon, considering we cannot afford to lose sight of the critical lessons of this outrageous scandal.
The first lesson of this scandal is that three different but interconnected groups have been revealed to have permanently infiltrated and nearly infantilized all open spaces in the country, and until we name them for who they are, the rest of the public risks being infected by their peculiar disease. The first group comprises the bootlickers, and their unique character is toadyism. All is well and good, as long as they can benefit materially from the ruling class, whether in the form of bite-sized to substantial pecuniary rewards or simply the assurance of not having to forage for food. They are scattered about in the traditional media and academic institutions, in the corners of our streets threatening blood and thunder, in the comforts of our homes and the recesses of our towns and vicinages feigning patriotism—and the internet reeks of their foul-smelling flatulence, which is really not difficult to discern. Most of them are nowhere near the boots they worship, but their hopes are high, as their delusions are wild. Some of them deserve our sympathies, but they simply have no permanent loyalties. The second group comprises the obscurantists: The contrivers of mind-numbing obscurantism, nauseating misdiagnoses, and philosophical red herring. Their purpose is to create doubts where there are none, to draw a veil over the patently absurd, to tell us our faculties of seeing and hearing are always wrong, and to disagreeably identify a flock of sheep as a rout of wolves, or a charm of hummingbirds as a murder of crows. Unfortunately, this is where majority of our traditional intellectuals belong, and they bear the oppressive burden of their unenviable position with religious overlords masquerading as gatekeepers to the sacred kingdom. On this altar, the megalomaniacs have been exposed and fallen to shame, the weak-willed have fallen out of sight in keeping with their usual disposition, and the previously unblemished illustriousness of our geniuses can hardly be rescued from its last dance on the precipice of ruin. They do not deserve our sympathies, for they have wilfully chosen their self-abasement and association with degeneracy. The last group comprises the booboisie: They represent the supercilious cult of intellectual pygmies, faffing around in their own bubble of asininity. They are the champions and endorsers of stupidity, and they take pride in their lack of zeal for all that is of excellence and beauty. They just want to be stupid, and it is hard to point to anything tangible they stand to gain from it, unlike the bootlickers and obscurantists. Some members of this cult are probably redeemable, and we can only hope their redemption happens soon.
The other lesson we cannot ignore in this Tinubu Affair is the multiple ways it exposes institutional failure and class structure in Nigeria. No public institution is spared in the utter decadence of the Nigerian state, and its depth has thrown up the notorious character with a controversial name, age, origin, and education at the center of this public farce. Thanks to the judges in Chicago, the toothlessness of Nigerian laws has been fully exposed, starting with the 1999 constitution that cannot hold the political class to the same sadistic standards that it does the ordinary and oppressed people of Nigeria. Thanks to the judges in Chicago, the ludicrous position of the Nigerian political class and how they savage themselves has become fully conspicuous to global observers. Isn’t it remarkably curious that the same people responsible for the absolute decadence in Nigeria can no longer rely on the hobbling rot they caused and have to travel nearly 10,000 kilometers to seek justice in a foreign land? Temporarily, it might seem like the goal of this oppressive class and the millions align—and maybe it does in so far as the goal of the latter is to forever be victims of the knout of oppression. But as overwhelmingly decisive as the evidence from Chicago has proven to be, it alone cannot reverse the decades of putrefaction that has permeated this country. As far as we are concerned, the real battle here is not between the political candidates and the Aso Villa impostor—they are sufficiently equipped to spatchcock themselves; the real battle is between the necrosis of the Nigerian state and those who must become the conscience of a newly fashioned future, devoid of all residual sentimentality for this rot.
Like it or not, Nigeria is already in its final stage of decadence, and almost everyone has some lofty answers on how to fix it; only a few are willing to admit the unworkability of the experiment. In the absence of practical action from the millions, all that is left is the barbaric prizefighting of the oppressive class; and while they continue to savage themselves, the blood spillage leaves a permanent stain on the rest of us.
Raphael Adebayo is an author and human rights activist. His book, De-Nigerianization, is described as ‘a propulsive vignette of Nigeria’s historical lopsidedness’ and an exhortation to confront the meaning of Nigeria.