Nigeria is a scam. Everything about this nation is shrouded in the kind of mystery that underscores the 419 phenomenon. Nobody can tell for a fact the accurate population of the country. Literally all elections in the country are rigged. The very idea of democracy in Nigeria is fraudulent. Time was when Nigerian authorities cried foul over the dismissal of the country as a nation of marvelous scammers by then American Secretary of State General Colin Powell. This time around, Information and Communications Minister Prof Dora Akunyili is crying herself hoarse over the Hollywood film District 9 shot in South Africa that depicted Nigerians as ignoble criminals led by a certain Obasanjo. The heart of the matter is that Nigeria is a veritable 419 “mugu” made for exploitation from the very beginning.
Now that the country is marking her 49th Independence anniversary it is indeed apt to highlight the season as a celebration of 419. What greater Advance Fee Fraud could have been arranged on God’s earth than the so-called Amalgamation of Nigeria in 1914 by Lord Lugard from which our colonial master Britain continues to reap from bounteously to this day? It was classic 419 that the British inaugurated when they merged three unequal regions into the wobbly patchwork now known as Nigeria. The country inauspiciously began life somehow managing to stand on three unequal legs. It is a miracle that it is still standing today, no matter how staggeringly.
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The dubious intentions of Britain on Nigeria started quite early. The very first census figures were doctored by the colonial powers to favour the North; the facts are there in the recently uncovered archival materials in the London library. The 1959 elections were rigged in the interests of the Northern Peoples Congress (NPC) as opposed to the more broad-based National Council of Nigerian Citizens (NCNC) by the selfsame Britain; Dr Nnamdi Azikiwe wrote about this in book after book. Even early joiners of the West African Frontier Force (WAFF) which later metamorphosed into the Nigerian military were encouraged by the British officers to learn Hausa as the language of power as far back as the 1940s and 50s! Citizen Adesugba who was one of the recruits of the military back then revealed this to me while I was writing his biography in his country home at Ogbagi in Ondo State. From the very beginning everything was arranged as a kind of 419 that would in latter time blossom into something else!
Even the first coup in Nigeria was staged by the British no less. After the massive rigging of the 1964 elections then President Nnamdi Azikiwe stoutly refused to announce the fictional results. In what would amount to a coup the British prevailed on him, some would swear at gunpoint, to announce the results just the same!
So it would not make sense if Nigerians think they are the inventors of 419. They were schooled in the art by the grandmasters of Britain. When Nigeria was embroiled in crisis in the 1960s especially in then Western region Prime Minister Abubakar Tafawa Balewa deigned to organize a conference to settle the quarrel in faraway Rhodesia. While engrossed in the 419 conference the army struck, killing him for his efforts and sweeping away his government. The British crept in quickly by labeling the putsch as “Igbo coup” and helping the Northerners who were asking for “araba” (secession) to stage a bloody revenge coup. The “maiguard” whom the country’s leader then General JTU Aguiyi-Ironsi took to Ibadan to guard him ended up turning his gun on his master! This infamy of murdering one’s master has been rewarded over the years with billions of blood money culminating in the recent selling of a multi-billion oil block to some Chinese concerns. Incidentally the Chinese are celebrating 60 years of communist uprising to world acclaim at the same time that Nigeria is wallowing in worldwide derision on its celebration of 49 years of consistent 419.
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The Nigeria-Biafra war that the country fought between 1967 and 1970 ended up as a classic 419 with the Reconstruction-Rehabilitation-Reintegration project promised by General Yakubu Gowon coming to naught. The “No Victor, No Vanquished” slogan became just that – a mere slogan. Marginalization is the rule rather than the exception in Nigeria. Gowon’s promise of returning power to the civilians turned into a 419 ruse until he was overthrown by Gen Murtala Mohammed in 1975.
Murtala Mohammed was himself shot to death in Col Buka Musa Dimka’s “we are together”, “dawn to dusk” 419 coup in 1976, and he was mourned by the musicians Oriental Brothers with the song that said “Ogba egbe g’esi n’egbe la” that is, “He who kills with the gun will go by way of the gun”! General Olusegun Obasanjo who took over and fulfilled Murtala’s promise of handing-over power to the civilians in 1979 foisted on the country a great 419 caper in the Richard Akinjide-manufactured Twelve Two-Third legal arithmetic. The President Shehu Shagari civilian government initiated in such a dubious manner came to a tacky end in 1983 when the military struck on the last day of the year after a disputed 419 “moonslide” re-election gambit. When SG Ikoku learnt of the dramatis personae of the coup he told his wife: “There is no coup. Let’s go back to sleep. Only the military wing of the ruling NPN has taken over.”
Irrepressible SG Ikoku was borne out when heavy prison sentences were handed out to non-NPN politicians such as Abubakar Rimi, Ambrose Alli, Jim Nwobodo, Bisi Onabanjo, Bola Ige etc. For his efforts Gen Muhammadu Buhari was toppled by the past master of the 419 art in a palace coup. Gen Ibrahim Babangida swore “Insha-Allah” at the end of every sentence only to end up doing the exact opposite of whatever he promised such that he must have made Allah wonder how He created such a creature! As an unelected president Babangida ended up in utter disgrace with the greatest fiasco in 419 capers such as the annulment of the June 12, 1993 presidential election was. Babangida would eventually up the ante of 419 in foisting hapless Ernest Shonekan on Nigeria before Gen Abacha came with fire and force to break all the records of 419.
The rehabilitation of Obasanjo who could not win an election in his local Abeokuta ward into the Nigerian civilian presidency gave democracy a 419 slap. Obasanjo tried a shameless 419 Third Term bid, failing quite woefully. He did succeed however in the 419 of awarding a fictional contract for the construction of the Second Niger Bridge and, of course, the installation of Umoru “Are You Dead?” Yar’Adua as the President of this woebegone country. 419 @ 49 is complete.
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