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Hello Mr. President, How Market? By Gbenro Olajuyigbe

January 10, 2015

Ambassadors of corruption are parading themselves as "Transformation Ambassadors", dancing ‘Skeleu’ with their ‘Dagon’ who has forgotten, as in Chinua Achebe’s words, that his palm kernel was cracked by sheer benevolence.’
Biting the fingers that fed him, forgetting that those who bite feeding fingers often end up licking the boots that will kick them.

‘An age is called Dark, not because light fails to shine but because people refuse to see it.’-James A. Michener

Anywhere, whether on the main streets or on the cyber streets you turn to in Nigeria today there is one loud but shameless noise of celebration in the air. People are rejoicing! Celebrating; naked and unashamed. Virtues have died. 

Values are already in the grave. Come on, let’s celebrate! It’s their Funeral! Yes, funeral of values and virtues. That is the reason for the celebration. "No thought, no sense, no break! Joro-jara-joro" as Fela has sung. 

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2015 General Election - Free and Fair

A thorough definition of the Dark Age is catching fire. It is a time when people rejoice in falsehood, iniquity, heresy and evil and go ahead to honour those who package, promote and market them! The gross darkness is here! A time when ‘Papa’ Deceive ‘Pickin’ and ‘Pickin Deceive ‘Papa’ has arisen. For the reason of what to eat, some women, men, young and old have become lovers of lie, apostles of falsehood and retarders of virtues. 

This type of happenstance was what provoked Prophet Jeremiah in the Bible to write about once upon a time in  the beautiful city of Jerusalem in The Book of Lamentation. A city that then laid barren and reduced to rubble by Babylonian hordes that invaded it. It was a tear-stained image of a city that became the shadow of its old self.  Nigeria is fast becoming the ‘old testament version’ of that Jerusalem, a city once loved by God, but battered down by its own rulers. 

A city whose rulers are products of whoredom and whose large number of her people are given to reprobate mind. A nation where falsehood has become the foundation for policy details; and profanity, the guidance of practice, has slender chance of recovery from the mire into which it has sunk. 

That slender chance is what the February 2015 Election is about. Slender chance of rescuing the country from those that are irredeemably corrupt. 

They met the pump price of petrol at 65 naira and they are leaving it at 97 naira. They met the exchange rate of the naira at one dollar-147 naira, and they are leaving it at one dollar-197 naira. 

Interest Rate was 14% when they came in; today it stands at 21%. The Gini coefficient keeps on escalating, revealing the exponentially populating of the "parish of the poor"; widening the gap between the rich and the poor and crippling the potential for peace. These are the insignia of their transformation mantra; turning gold to ashes and making simple sand grain out of un-cut raw diamonds.

In their time, men and women are even becoming robots, in thoughts and in placing truth in its rings. They have turned to disgusting abusers of compatriots with divergent views, cursers of the righteous and molesters of anyone with a slight air of integrity. 

Ambassadors of corruption are parading themselves as "Transformation Ambassadors", dancing ‘Skeleu’ with their ‘Dagon’ who has forgotten, as in Chinua Achebe’s words, that his palm kernel was cracked by sheer benevolence.’ 

Biting the fingers that fed him, forgetting that those who bite feeding fingers often end up licking the boots that will kick them.

What manner of a presidential candidate would appoint an indecorous light-fingered hate monger like Fani Kayode as his Campaign Spokesperson? A man whose corruption charges were traded for partisan loyalty to a president who is expected to be Chief Champion of Anti-Corruption. The man who recently celebrated his sexual prowess as veritable tool he used to conquer the widow of the prime Igbo Chief.

The man who has on several occasions perfidiously projected the hegemony of his Yoruba tribe over the Igbos, just as he is doing currently with the Hausa/Fulani in a nation desperately craving for unity. The man that has indiscretionally called for Oduduwa Republic to the provocation of others. A perverse and perverted mind with history graft and betrayal; and who has ordained himself as ‘preacher of hate’, reading his own greed into the creed of God by adulterating the words of God. 

Deceiver of brethren whose belly is his god. Little wonder the former President Obasanjo said "I know Femi Fani Kayode, give him food to chop, he will sing and dance for you."

What manner of a president would be this consumed by personal ambition to the extent of no longer recognizing what bitter division is all about? How can a president be persistently holding his political party’s (PDP) meeting in the State House and did not see that as an initiation of division?

How can a president of a country, who claims to be a Christian be gallivanting from one church to the other like those that Jesus called Pharisees, making political statements without giving a damn to the sensibility of others, more so that a chapel has been built in the State House to make his religious belief a private affair; and yet thinks he is not dividing the country along religious lines?  

They go from church to church, from Jerusalem to Galilee, yet they do not stop stealing government money! They love God with their mouths but their heart is far from God. Hippocrates! How can a president of a country yearning for national integration allow a group of rag tag supporters like TAN to go to the extent of dividing Nigeria football supporters club by inscribing ‘TAN, Supporters of Goodluck’ on the T-Shirt worn by supporters of a national football team during the Africa Cup Qualifying Match? 

Indeed, I agree that such a president needs a parent. Thank God he has found one among his type. His newly adopted father  is Babangida. Babangida has endorsed him. However, Babangida has also made it clear that his government was run by angels given the scale of corruption which prevails in Nigeria of today. 

I do not know why people are frowning at Babangida’s endorsement of Jonathan. The exchange between the two men-united by expertise in science and art of corruption-is mutually beneficial. Through words, Babangida has endorsed Jonathan. Through acts, Jonathan has canonised Babangida. Combining the two, it  can be said that what Babangida can do, Jonathan can do even better. 

Nevertheless, God is fighting back already, the people’s blind eyes are opening, the Dark Ages have almost passed out of our land. This market will soon be over; but before then, and as TAN would say, "Keep on doing it Mr President." The dealers with you are more than the minders who tell you the truth! Hello, Mr. President, how market!

Gbenro Olajuyigbe is an Abuja-based human security expert and a human rights activist. Email: [email protected]