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Femi Fani-Kayode: Before We Jump In The Lagoon! By Ozodinukwe Okenwa

April 23, 2020

Fani-Kayode can celebrate the late Kyari the villain to hell as an 'honourable' old boy of his alma mater; he can afford to mourn him by shedding crocodile tears all day long but he must let us write his epitaph as it pleases us.

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Following the tragic passing of the former Chief of Staff to President Muhammadu Buhari, Abba Kyari, last weekend, tributes had been coming in torrents from power circles and powerful quarters. There is nothing abnormal in paying moving tribute to a 'great' man connected to the zenith of power in any country. Whether such Adam was patriotic or not, corrupt or not, cupidinous or otherwise what matters was saying the right things about him. Sometimes those charitable things said about him were at variance with his persona or character.

When the kleptocratic dictator, Gen. Sani Abacha suddenly died tributes were paid to the soulless despot for his 'services' to his fatherland! Even some of his friends or admirers (including the present President) had declared scandalously that Abacha never stole a dime during his kleptocracy. If the maximum ruler never stole anything from the national treasury then the Congolese, Ugandans and the Gambians must apologise to the late Mobutu, Idi Amin and the fugitive Yahya Jammeh for 'wrongly' accusing them of grand larceny in their various countries.

The late Abba Kyari was sophisticated intellectually and administratively -- that we recognise in all fairness. He was fiercely loyal to the President but not to the nation. He may be taciturn or reserved but that could be attributed to the wise saying that the guilty is always afraid. No one would convince us otherwise that the late Mallam never coveted power nor exploited the circumstances of Buhari's insentience to foster his politico-economic ambition.

Like the late Abba was adamantly loyal to Buhari Ismaila Gwarzo was criminally loyal to the late Gen. Abacha. During 'Babacracy' Andy Uba was loyal to Obasanjo to the point of servitude. The fugitive Diezani Allison-Madueke was ferociously (or better still, connubially) loyal to ex-President Goodluck Jonathan. And now that COVID-19 had removed Kyari from Mamman Daura and Babagana Kingibe the few other executive cabal members would be eternally loyal to Buhari till death put assunder or 2023 brings things to a screeching halt. That is how the politics of power goes and works.

President Buhari himself paid a glowing tribute to his fallen Chief of Staff describing him as loyal, patriotic and effective manager of men and resources. He ended his eulogy by telling those who cared to listen that Abba Kyari was "the best of us"! While we recognise the administrative and intellectual competence and capability of the deceased we fail to understand how and why he should be called the 'best of us'. We take exception to the presidential description. Best of us on what ground? Corruption? Favouritism? Ethnic jingoism? Scandal? Hell no!

The best of us, of course, cannot be found in the Buhari administration! The best of us are among us in flesh and blood and not yet dead. They are doing their patriotic utmost to aid the politico-economic social transformation of our nation. President Buhari should tell the 'best of us' crap to the marines! We refuse to accept that.

Another sugar-coated tribute came from the Foreign Affairs Minister, Geoffrey Onyeama. He poured encomiums on the very important fatal victim of COVID-19. His eulogy was laced with diplomatic niceties expected of a friend of many years. Minister Onyeama surprisingly painted a rosy picture of a Kyari that stunned some discerning minds. From their friendship in the university abroad to becoming his best man during his inter-ethnic wedding down to godfathering his son Onyeama sought to give Kyari a better image than the one majority of Nigerians had about him.

Perhaps what Minister Onyeama frailed to tell Nigerians was that he owed his apparent longevity in the Buhari regime to his close relationship with the dead man from Borno state. Kyari as defacto 'President' must have tolerated the 'detribalised' Igboman for reasons of amity as enumerated by the beneficiary himself. Kyari, the Onyeama benefactor, was alleged to detest the Igbos, so it stands to reason to insinuate that Onyeama 'survived' the northern cabal and their noxious politics because of the generosity of spirit of Kyari.

President Buhari and his Foreign Affairs Minister reserved the right to present the late Abba Kyari as 'Angel Gabriel' or 'Prophet Moses' but we have the right to reject such abominable description.

To open the torrent of eulogy outside power the former loquacious Aviation Minister, Femi Fani-Kayode, a funny controversial character once charged for economic crime against the nation, had written a provocative essay captioned: "How Are The Mighty Fallen" heaping praises on Kyari and portraying an image of a loyal, patriotic and hardworking man, one ready to take as much bullet as possible for his incompetent principal. He arrogantly told off those of us seeing the late Kyari differently asking us to "jump in the lagoon"! The huge negative reactions from Nigerians scattered all over the world were enough testament to FFK's lousy hypocritical disposition towards his late 'brother' and 'friend' for over forty years.

Femi Fani-Kayode sounds lately like a broken record, broke and broken psychologically if his confession was to be taken seriously. Who knows he may be smartly seeking for the attention of those in power since his desperation for political rehabilitation was evident. Sounding holier-than-thou or quoting relevant verses in the scripture can never erase his history -- both in his private and public life.

The more he seeks attention the more loathsomeness he attracts to himself. What he needs more now is deliverance from the demons of narcotics and political corruption.

While we recognise Fani-Kayode's undeniable right to his opinion we hold that he had no right to dismiss the collective opprobrium and bad impressions majority of Nigerians have about the power-crazy former CoS. Abba Kyari was his friend and 'brother' who served eminently in the Buhari regime yet Fani-Kayode suffered persecution and prosecution?

Before we jump in the lagoon (something very common these days in Lagos as a result of socio-economic frustrations of some of our compatriots at the receiving end of Buharism) we must remind Femi that we have never served our motherland and soiled our hands with filthy lucre leading to imprisonment; we have never been accused of doing drugs! We must let him know before committing the aquatic suicide that we are not seeking for any public office or appointment anywhere.

Fani-Kayode can celebrate the late Kyari the villain to hell as an 'honourable' old boy of his alma mater; he can afford to mourn him by shedding crocodile tears all day long but he must let us write his epitaph as it pleases us.

SOC Okenwa
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