Personally, I’m one of those rare species who do not particularly use Twitter because I’m more of an ‘epistles’ guy. But this Nigerian Twitter suspension reminds me of the story of the bros that was being accused of stealing village goats caught in the public square doing a foxtrot with two small goats while vehemently denying he is a goat thief! Of course, it's not funny, but Nigerians should first take a brief guffaw-interlude before they continue the mission of exposing the mad emperor without clothes. 

Seriously, it is depressing seeing what idiots have reduced governance to in Nigeria, turning us into a global laughing stock. I mean, as a government, what better way to put your country firmly on the map of ignominy than by banning Twitter? The mental lethargy is astonishing. They can hardly bring themselves to think before acting and rushing out with public actions and statements. So, how many people around the world are they hoping to endear themselves to with this action? And do they really think they can police thought? Do they really think that in the year 2021, they will suddenly make a success of what sundry dictators and penile-challenged men with small balls have done outstandingly failingly for millenniums? 

Now, imagine the reason for the suspension given by the Nigerian Minister of Information fellow called Lai Mohammed. Yes, the Minister of Information of a country is declaring that they are banning Twitter due to "the persistent use of the platform for activities... capable of undermining Nigeria's corporate existence." I mean, if the activities of a small number of the Nigerian people using Twitter are capable of undermining Nigeria’s supposed corporate existence, isn’t that proof undeniable that this Nigeria may not have any corporate existence after all? Yes, if the jaw-jawing on a microblogging site by a small number of citizens can undermine the corporate existence of what you are calling a nation, that is not much of a nation, is it? 

Of course, what has happened is that Buhari and his goons have just inadvertently exposed the lie that is Nigeria, the lie that those who have been put in charge of its affairs since its flag independence from colonial rule in 1960 have been working to build a proper nation. No proper nation should be scared of being chatted away on Twitter if for even a mere five years it has been living the truth of its creed. Nigeria is a huge scam, a big crime scene and the criminals from day one, in and out of military uniforms, have been the ones running the show, killing Nigerians, making rules for the frazzled living, repeatedly forcing them to remain buried in the silence of the graveyard. Something must give at some point and that point is now….

For the avoidance of doubt, Nigerians everywhere fully support Twitter's action of removing the irresponsible content posted by the President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, Major-General Muhammadu Buhari (ret) who threatened genocide against a section of the country, just as he and his criminal colleagues actually did during the Nigerian Civil War. Patriotic Nigerians who recognize that such a comment is exactly what is capable of undermining Nigeria’s corporate existence called on Twitter to remove it and Twitter obliged because the evidence is clear!

We thank Twitter for acting quickly to remove something that undermines the corporate existence of Nigeria even though it came from the country’s president. We reject the attempt at psychological projection by Lai Mohammed and his Aso Rock bosses. We know that Twitter’s action in support of the corporate existence of Nigeria is the reason they are now being banned. This is a ban that has been choreographed by this government from the very first day it came to power in the forms of various threats to strongly police social media or ban Nigerians from using it. In fact, they’ve been attempting unsuccessfully all this while through their agents to do it through legislation at the National Assembly. However, from the moment Jack Dorsey and Twitter began to support young people massacred by the Nigerian army for protesting police brutality through the #EndSars movement, the target has been placed on Twitter’s back. 

But Twitter can be assured that this is an action in futility. This is an action that has only exposed the vile machinations of the Buhari government to a worldwide audience. Twitter must consider itself honoured to be part of the new pro-democracy struggle of the Nigerian people.


Jack Dorsey and Twitter, the Nigerian people appreciate you! Thank you!



Kennedy Emetulu

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